UPDATE - BM thinks email is not "credible documentation" to hold up in court...WTF? She's an idiot!

So I was talking to my SO again yesterday about BM and the divorce etc. I was very calm and did my best not to snap at him about her like I had done before. I took HS' advice about just listening and I just sat there on the phone and let him say what he needed to. However, I could not help but give my opinion about this particular thing and actually it did not create friction between SO and I either.

For almost 2 years as they have been going through this divorce, BM has refused to answer emails, texts, phone calls etc. She thinks she is punishing him by completely ignoring him. However, it's worse for her because she chooses to respond to/request things only through correspondence with the lawyer and it's costing HER a fortune. He was telling me that she had a question about taxes which she emailed directly to him (shocking!)and then the next day he got the SAME email from the lawyer. I am trying to figure out why she wants to cost herself all of this money. I told SO...either she is REALLY that stupid or she's got something up her sleeve and we haven't figured it out yet. He said, nah I think she's just stupid! :jawdrop: he had to have been pretty pissed because he doesn't usually call her names. He has said she's a bitch before and complained that she's a pain in the ass for what she's doing but now...she's really stupid!

At no point during this whole process has she appeared sane or mature at all. On the day that he turned down her request for a NEW mediator (because she felt that the one they chose wouldn't get her as much money as she is entitled to) she sent him a text that said, "F*CK YOU." That's it. My SO was like, alright that's cool I have it saved so I will feel free to show it to the judge in court if that's necessary. He of course did not respond...he doesn't think it's appropriate to engage her. I agree.

If she's worried about everything being documented...um isn't that what an email is? I get that she probably does not want to have a phone conversation but at least with emails she would have all of that documented and let's say he did try to pull a fast one on her (which he would not do) she would have all of those emails and could bring them all to court with her. My SO says that she doesn't believe they are official or credible unless they come from the lawyer? WHAT?! I believe she really is that stupid. ANYTHING that you write down comes from YOUR email account, no one can argue or question it. It's documentation. She's not all that computer savvy either so I really think she has no clue what she's doing.

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Yes, this sounds about right.

Yes, this sounds about right. It's been about 1.5 years and it will be a little more than that by May when the actual hearing is. To my understanding, the lawyers and the judge recommended mediation first and I get why this is. It took forever to finally get an actual date and then she went back to the hen house and cackled with the useless women she's friends with who advised HER to choose the mediator even though SO is forced to pay for it. She's unbelievable. When he said no she was furious but now SO's lawyer thinks she won't go at all if they can't agree on the mediator so they are rescheduling...that will be another month thanks to asshole BM! Yes, she has dragged this out as long as possible and I believe that SO's next step is to say alright well forget it if you plan to be that difficult I'll just see you in court in May. He doesn't want it to shake down that way either but at this point...he just wants to be rid of her. He's trying to take the control away from her.

You know what's crazy HS is

You know what's crazy HS is that SO wanted to make this mediation appt forever and she had no interest. Then last month she decided it was time. His lawyer believes it's because she's running out of money and now she wants to get this wrapped up. She's been dragging this out forever and believes she has all the control but now it's right up against the wire so it will be interesting to see what she tries to do now. They were supposed to have a pre-trial on 3/31 but now they won't have gone to mediation therefore pushing this off even more. It's all over for her in May. They will be divorced and SO says regardless of the terms of any agreement, the end result is the same...DIVORCE!

Her first proposal was

Her first proposal was outrageous but that was to be expected. Shoot for the moon and hopefully you will land somewhere in between. I do know that she will probably get at least 50% of the 401k and she's asking for like $4000/mo in alimony, all of the equity in the house, things of that nature. That part I really just don't care about because I used to get mad and it just got me nowhere, it's not even my divorce it's not as if I have a say. Anyway, she won't get all of the house probably the 401k I'm assuming and the alimony...gees I don't know what she'll get there that's probably going to be considerable. I know they've been back and forth so who knows. I don't know anything about these other kinds of accounts either, I am not aware of how it works and as much as I don't want SO in the hole with these damn alimony payments it is still HIS money and although we plan to get married at some point, I do make my own money too so I realize this is selfish but...I can't really worry about the alimony etc. I get angry for him because I care about him but it's not my fault he married that money hungry, lazy, ignorant, bitch.

You're right, I'm sure I have lots of exciting BM issues to look forward to! At least it's not going to be completely unsettled though for another year. At least in May they will have an idea on what's going to happen and she's not likely dragging him back to court the next month. Man I really hate this shit...how can one person cause so many issues? She's going straight to hell.

Sometimes my SO and I joke

Sometimes my SO and I joke around and say...what will we ever talk about when this whole thing is over? No more drama! It will be so nice when we get to that point too. It is the source of any argument we have. We really don't fight but when we do it's pretty much because of her which I know she would LOVE to hear! We're hanging in there and he says the same thing you do...it will all be over, just gotta get over this stretch and it will change. Baby steps...

Maux the same thing happened

Maux the same thing happened with our bm. Her lawyer refuses to do anything for her b/c 1. she was always badgering them about things she thought she should get from us. 2. she was always making up something that we supposedly did and she had proof. But never did. 3. she still owes them a ton of money b/c she didn't get what she thought she should from us! }:)

I didn't even think of

I didn't even think of that...about the court seeing that she's not willing to work through things civilly. In this case they don't have CS issues because skids are in their 20's so thankfully we don't have to discuss custody wooo hooo! I am pretty happy about that and SO agrees...if nothing else thank God we don't have to hash that one out. I am going to mention that to him though about not negotiating or attempting to work things out together first. There is plenty of documentation that includes days/times/content that she never cared to respond to and I suppose if SO wanted to print those out and say hey, never received any correspondence this is proof just ask her for it.

She's really not bright and I know she has failed to see these things.