Makes sense to me
Advice from the book Games Divorced People Play
"Successful After Divorce relationships consist of four basic elements:
1. Courtesy,
2. Financial Commitment,
3. Parental Commitment, and
4. Minimal Personal Contact.
"Courtesy means treating your ex as you would like to be treated. Cut the barbs, attacks, put downs and getting back ats.
"...the greater the contact the higher the probability for hassle. Positive interaction hinges on the divorced couple being emotionally unhooked and available for honest, game free transactions."
- Imustbcrazy's blog
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Comments
Out of sight out of mind...
Especially when you can't the "sight" of them....
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I think so
Hubby refuses to talk to his ex until she's left about 100 messages on the ans. machine, and 50 on the cell. I guess the ex isn't the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to hints. But if there's an issue he'll talk to the kids to see what they need.
Anyway, after the ignoring of the phone calls and voice mails, (because hubby doesn't want to talk to her at all, EVER, and yes he's said that more the once) it's usually a few days later and ex has calmed WAY down, and is acting human again. And if she does talk to him, by then she's civil instead of a demon from hell.
So yeah, the minimal personal contact, I would have to agree with at least in my case!
Here too....
The less my DH talks to BM the better too. He just seems to fuel her fire, no matter what he says. In fact, I am his secret weapon. When she is really out of control, I diffuse her with a sickening amount of understanding and kindness. Works every time, she won't call him with the issue again.
Best of luck!
That's what we do!
It has worked for the most part. Sometimes she doesn't get the fact that just because I am listening and EMPATHYZING with her, DOES NOT mean that I agree with her.
Daddys Gurl
CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?