After venting now, thanks for listening steptalk. I need to take a few deep breaths relax and think things over...Plus I am getting sick started coughing to the point of throwing up and can't stop so I need to calm down and take care of myself while I figure things out. You know when i played life as a child I never knew it would be that hard to fit someone elses kids into you life or fit yourself into somoene elses life...the pegs all went into those little mini vans so easily...but this is hard work, really hard when I am the only one working at it and I need to ask if it is worht it and develop a plan...