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For those with bios and skids in college

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Mon, 09/02/2019 - 9:18pm

DS left clothing behind when he packed for school. And I know the mementos he took and what he left and he left things he doesn’t want to lose. I don’t know for sure that he left clothes at XHs but I know he left mementos and some valuable things there, too. (Update: he did leave a little bit of clothing at XHs house, too.)

OSS left zero clothes here. He also seems to have taken only one or two mementos (but to be fair he’s less of a memento kind of kid).

My parents were still married when my brother and I left for college and I don’t want to ask people IRL, but is that normal for a COD kid to clean out one house when leaving for college? I’m curious if this is another step away since he came to the house maybe five times this summer after HS graduation.

I have not asked DH about either thing (clean out or lack of appearances) because I don’t want to trigger a pity party or have the conversation come around to it being my fault somehow.

 

Comments

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Mon, 09/02/2019 - 9:56pm

Sounds like he completely launched! Excellent! 

Does ...er....did he have his own room? Perhaps you can turn it into a craft room? Or redecorate for guests? Or an office? 

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Mon, 09/02/2019 - 10:06pm

Not cleaning them out just yet since they might be here on breaks. I’m sure DS will be since he talked about it and left stuff here. Obviously not so sure about OSS. And I cannot suggest to DH it gets repurposed. At least not yet. I’m guessing it’ll take him not showing up for breaks and not coming next summer before that could be a topic of conversation.  But I did spend time cleaning DSs room so it’s fit for guests (or me since it’s a cooler room and I sleep better when it’s cold) and DH is cleaning up OSSs room. 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Mon, 09/02/2019 - 10:38pm

Dang... I made my son clean his room when he packed off to college. I guess I'm a mean mom. *unknw*

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 09/03/2019 - 7:46am

I wanted that next level of clean (like washing every piece of bedding and vacuuming out drawers. 

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Tue, 09/03/2019 - 10:21am

And its a waste of space to have an empty room so why not turn it into a guest room and if he comes back on college breaks etc there is a practical guest room. Key word here is he’s an adult guest in bio dad and stepmums home. As a grown arse man he shouldn’t expect he has a bedroom forever.

that ways you come off as subtle and casual about things. If hubby says no that its ss room and he might come back, tell him the room is empty and cleared out.

i’m into sewing so i could use that as an excuse and say a sewing room or playroom for our 2 toddlers etc. Heck we turned a guest bedroom into the gym to place a treadmill

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 09/03/2019 - 12:26pm

If it's cleaned out enough, DH might start to store more stuff there or use it. This was DH and BMs house and I have never felt like DH fully thinks I'm part of it (perhaps he never thought BM was part of it, either, since he did most of the design and work). If there's a lot of unused rooms, we don't need the space and there's reason to downsize.