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Another moment confirming the nightmare that has been step hell

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Thu, 04/29/2021 - 5:51pm

In my last post I shared about the ILs going to FL where the SILs were very fast and loose with the COVID guidelines, the ILs didn't tell us after discussions about how we were handling things and coming to visit them since I have a master's ceremony in the area.

Hi, I'm back with an "am I the a-hole" type of question

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Thu, 04/15/2021 - 1:10pm

This is not specifcally step related but family and COVID related.

Background:

XH, DS, and I are fully vaccinated. DH is partially vaccinated, BM is now partially vaccinated, and YSS and OSS are about to start vaccinations. My mother is fully vaccinated, my dad is not at all vaccinated (thinks it's a hoax).

YSS went to FL recently and DH had him quarantine at BMs for two weeks before coming to our house.

It doesn’t change, it’s just lurking in the background

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Wed, 03/24/2021 - 7:54am

I'm not on here as often since the skids are mostly out of the house. As a warning to others who think it will go away or be better when the skids are out, it stays exactly the same except it doesn't happen as often so your guard is down and it's surprise attack when some step-crap occurs. 
 

Background: I get along with my skids and there's no animosity between me and BM. DH and BM get along okay now after a bumpy ride and DH still hyper focuses on the skids and it's like DS and I don't exist other than to fulfill his nuclear family fantasy. 
 

It is not to much to ask, it is a basic expectation

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Sat, 02/27/2021 - 7:08pm

It is not too much to ask that DH and the kids/skids (all adults at this point) clean up after themselves. It's not even something that should have to be asked, it's a given. Clean up after yourselves. If DH expects people to put shoes away or dishes in the dishwasher, he'd better do that shit himself, too. 

A cautionary tale

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Sun, 01/17/2021 - 8:04am

Hello, folks.  I haven't been on much in the last few months. Thought maybe reading everyone else's dilemmas was making me extra sensitive to my step life. Nope. My step life is making me sensitive to my step life. 

And like others who have said not to expect it to get better when the skids are adults, I must add the same warning. 

I mistakenly thought that the intense time together during this pandemic had brought us closer together. Nope. Cue the holidays to prove to me that nothing has changed. 

Oops

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Sun, 10/04/2020 - 7:56pm

Out of the two skids and one kid, my DS in high school had the lowest GPA.Not bad, but not stellar.He was commenting on is grades thus far with online college and said he's at risk already of beating OSS this semester and he beat OSS last semester by A LOT (his words and emphasis). 

OSS said this summer that he was worried about this semester if it was all online, that he needs to be in class to be able to learn. Remember, this is also the kid who apparently has a heavy weed habit. (Hm. I wonder why he's struggling in school.)

The therapist laughed

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Wed, 09/30/2020 - 5:54pm

I was telling my therapist about a recent (but not unique) discussion with DH. He called me over and had several ways he could do something, and asked me for my opinion. I picked one I thought was fine. He laid out some more arguments for the other ways, one in particular. Okay, with new info I said that my opinion was for two of the ways. 

DH kept going. I asked if he was just trying to work through the options by talking. Nope he said he wanted my preference. I told him mine again. He gave me more info and kept leaning toward a different option. 

Mr Obvious

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Mon, 09/21/2020 - 10:19pm

I tried to get through to DH tonight that when I come to him for closeness he always (yes, really, always) assumes it's a come-on. Even a request for a small massage of my shoulder (long history of problems) in a spot I cannot reach is an invitation. No, I'm in pain and I really don't want to do stuff that's gonna make it worse but maybe a little help and comfort might do some good. 

I pointed out to him that it's possible he'd get more of what he wants if maybe I also got more of what I want and felt close to him. 

OT- how big does she think I am?

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Mon, 09/21/2020 - 5:08pm

I inherited my dads families height (which just means I'm average) and shape (which luckily means I don't carry as much weight in my stomach and hips as the other, sturdier side of the family could have bestowed on me).

My mom said she had a pair of pants that were too small for her and maybe they'd fit me. I figured she'd unearthed some really old pair. Nope, recent. Three sizes bigger than I wear and a petite (so too short). She said if they don't fit to just donate them. Okay. Maybe she is so short I look like a giant?

 

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