Yup, more hypocrisy
Background for those who don't know: my DS is a freshman at college in an on-campus apartment and ended up with one okay roommate and two with problems. My OSS is also a freshman at a different college and is in a dorm. My DH thinks he had some influence over the dorm decision and is doing a lot of I-told-you-so with DS having a hard time in the apartment.
I've been waiting for the opportune time to ask a question because I didn't want to be too obvious. Yesterday it happened. I asked DH if the kids weren't in college what did he expect them to be doing now? He said he figured they'd get a job and an apartment. So I asked him if they are matured enough at 18 to get a job and an apartment how are they not mature enough to go to college and get an apartment.
There was some explaining that they'd be on their own if they had a job. I said not necessarily, they may need roommates to afford a place and could end with someone the same as the kids at college, and perhaps those kids can't keep a job and DS and other roommates end up paying their rent, etc.
The hypocrisy runs strong in this one.
- ITB2012's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
He does realize that the vast
He does realize that the vast majority of people in college don't live in the dorms, right? Most everyone I knew/ know attending classes live in apartments. The few who lived in dorms were the fortunate ones whose parents were paying tuition. Dorm units account for a very small fraction of the student body.
That must depend on the
That must depend on the school, right? Everyone I know lived in dorms. My 2 nieces who have graduated lived in dorms (one moved into a sorority house). I have a niece currently in school and she lives in a dorm (with suites, but still a dorm).
Dorms are more likely in private 4 year schools
https://robertkelchen.com/2018/05/28/a-look-at-college-students-living-a...
I also think more common in the more selective public 4 year schools, UVA even requires first year students to live in dorms.
Some schools run out of housing. One of DDs friends ended up in an apt, another in a frat (both arranged by the school). It is not clear to me if OPs DS had any choice, but even if he did not, I would tell OP to suggest that her DS talk to Residential Life about a switch in January
That's interesting, I didn't
That's interesting, I didn't know those statistics. Most people live at home and go to community college around here, though my neighbor's daughter lives on campus at a local CC.
Maybe...or you know more
Maybe...or you know more people in the same economic class as yourself where parents pay for college. I attended a medium state university. There were 12,000 students and about 2,000 on campus living units. The largest university in my state has 35,000 students and can house at most 20 percent on campus.
Most kids go to public colleges and universities. Even most private colleges have significant portions of the student body living off campus these days.
Must be different here - all
Must be different here - all 3 of my nieces went to NY state schools. Their parents are paying for college (niece currently enrolled will probably qualify for free tuition next year but they will pay room and board) but all 3 lived in dorms. 2 went to state schools in small towns where there likely are not many apartments. The 3rd is in a major city and could probably live off campus as she gets further into her education.
I think the SUNYs (NY State public schools)
require first and second year students to live on campus unless they live on home. The CUNYs (run by a combination of state and NYC) have limited housing, but under Mayor Bloomberg, it was expanded, and the tuition is so low for instate, many kids live in privately owned dorms (but much less supervision that a typical dorm)
Could be that those sscools
Could be that those schools are in high population density areas and if they don't offer enough housing, they wouldn't attract enough enrollment.
Your neices' situations align with my experiences. When parents are paying, it's easier to set up the kid in a dorm (where costs get rolled into tuition and other costs) than paying rent each month.
But most kids don't have parents paying for their college.
P.S. I looked up a new york state school. They do have more campus housing than our state schools here in mn, but the site still said 57 percent live off campus.
As STaround said, it appears
As STaround said, it appears that kids are required to live on campus in many SUNY schools for the first 2 years, unless they live locally and are going to live with parents.
I'm sure many students in the bigger city areas live off campus for the last two years.
I'm sure that 57% includes a
I'm sure that 57% includes a large number of nontraditional students with families.
I am certain the 57%
also incudes a lot of traditional students living with their parents.
Tog my experiences has been
Tog my experiences has been the same as yours. I'm actually in NC right now attending my school's Homecoming. When my sister and I were students here, the vast majority of kids lived on campus. My sister's oldest two attend the school now and the same is true. I'm referring to traditional college students(18-22) attending both public and private HBCUs primarily on the east coast. Those kids come from all economic backgrounds.
In my experience, landlords are not renting to 18 year olds. How many 18 year olds are making 3-4times the rent? How many 18 year olds can come up a security deposit AND two months rent upfront?
Yeah, and who wants an
Yeah, and who wants an apartment for 12 months when you are there for 9 months? I do know a lot of students live off campus in their junior and senior years, but generally not the first two.
I lived on campus for 4 years, but I went to a private college in a very small town.
NY and other east coast areas
NY and other east coast areas where cost of living is super expensive, it makes sense that more kids live on campus. My college town has entire city blocks of rental houses that you can rent a room in for a couple hundred bucks a month.
Most of New York state is low
Most of New York state is low COL - except for NYC and the surrounding areas.
There are a number of schools
There are a number of schools that require freshmen (other than those who live at home or are older/married) to live in the dorms and/or to have meal plans.
I live between Syracuse and Rochester
a local small city is packed with old, what were once housing for the well to do; gigantic 5 and 6 bedroom houses that supply the vast majority of renters from the non community college nearby. They rent them room by room and in a lot of cases the parents are forking over the rent.
Mrs. Headlight's 22 yr old rents an apt. and has several room mates but she did live on campus for the first two years (Binghamton). Either way, the parents seem to be footing most of the housing bill.
Freshman are not required to live on campus
where DS is going. I was surprised. When I went we had to live on campus, in dorms (there were no apartments). Seems to be the norm now that universities have minimal housing and either have a separate business entity that builds apartments next to campus or lets the private sector handle the housing.
My DD attended a very large
My DD attended a very large public university in a large city and she never lived in a dorm. Always apartment or a house with ton of roommates. The highest number of roommates she had was 7, they rented a tiny house, two people per room. They also all had jobs, didn’t just expect parents to go broke.
Dorms are too expensive and really universities that demand dorms do that for financial reasons: to fill their pockets. Ridiculous
I'm not sure what the
I'm not sure what the hypocrisy is here? I am assuming that both kids are living in "on campus" accommodations... one is set up as an apt.. another set up in a more traditional dorm situation.
In either situation, you are likely to end up with the exact same roommate situations.. and neither makes me think one kid is somehow more responsible or mature about a situation.
Most universities I am familiar with do require first year students to live on campus (some more than one year).. and in some cases.. they can't even bring a vehicle with them. I think this may be due to a variety of reasons.. including the ability to have more support for a transitioning student and the logistics of more cars on campus lol. There may be some small amount of flexibility for a local student living at home maybe.
In the first year.. I think it's pretty much a crap shoot with who you get as a roommate. You may get some ability to elect certain dorm types.. coed vs single sex etc.. but other than that.. they will place you with the next person in line.
After that.. I think that people can give preferences..and if those fit.. you can get your choice of roommates. Of course.. sometimes it is still different to be friends with someone vs living with them.. amiright? Kids usually join Greek or move off campus in their 3/4th year.. though some choose to stay in campus housing.
It seems like a reach to be trying to find some sliver of superiority here.
The hypocrisy
is that DH made his opinion known regarding DS living in an apartment freshman year at college: he thought kids were too young to be in an apartment.
Yet now, when asked what he thought they'd be doing if they hadn't gone to college: they'd have a job and be living in an apartment.
How are you not old enough for an apartment if you are in college but you are old enough if you aren't in college?
Oh.. I see your perspective.
Oh.. I see your perspective.
yeah.. I don't know.. unless he is saying that your son in particular is somehow not mature enough to deal with either?
Does he think your son would be better off in a dorm? I mean.. lots of dorms in college have rooms clustered around common areas that are shared.. so the same kind of issues would ensue either way.
College roommates are a crap shoot.
Actually, he seems to think my DS is mature
I have an old post regarding DH thinking DS could watch the house while we were gone for a few days but within the month he had the skids at our house for a weekend that BM would be away because neither of them wanted the skids to be home alone (and all three kids are nearly the same age and responsible kids). He even said once that he thought DS was more ready for college than OSS--specifically regarding life-skills like cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.