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Who Does the Laundry??

janmom319's picture

I know this seems so petty but it really kinda of bothered me.

Yesterday DF and I were talking and the phone rings. It's BM and she is asking if we have any of SS8's school clothes. He tells her he thinks "he" just washed one of his shirts. I kind of snicker and when he gets off the phone I say to him "YOU" washed his clothes?" He never does any laundry and hasn't a clue weather the kids have cloths at our house or not. He makes a big deal out of how I take care of everything and he doesn't have to do anything and he brags to everyone how I'm so good to him and take care of everything. He does help me with the everyday things and keeping things picked up but I do the majority of all the household duties and I don't have a problem with that. He loves not having to do laundry because when he was married to the BM he did the laundry, cooking, cleaning....everything and worked while she did nothing. My snicker and remark to him were in sarcastic fun....I would have said that no matter who was on the other end of the phone and I thought nothing of it because we are always teasing each other. but what made this different was his reaction to my remark. He became very upset and told me I was trying to cause problems he went off and kept tying to say what did it matter who he told her did the laundry. I was shocked!! After his reaction it made me think.... When it comes to telling her that I do things for him and his kids he just can't tell her....it's almost like he is protecting her in some way. He will not mention my name to her or say anything about me.....I feel almost as though I'm the other woman and he is trying to hide me in a weird way...
Like I said I know it's petty...but it did seem weird to me.

Comments

giveitago's picture

He's probably so used to doing it all that time that it was a reaction on his part to say 'I' did it. I would not read too much into that. I would let her keep thinking he did the laundry!

Oi Vey's picture

Let BM think he did it. Then she can wonder why he's so helpful for YOU when he wasn't for HER! }:)

SisterNeko's picture

My SO would have told BM that I washed the clothes just to get a raise out of her - since I am Susie homemaker and she wasn't a good house wife. Smile

hismineandours's picture

Oh, my dh used to do this sort of nonsense as well. If bm ever asked any sort of question about laundry, schedules, whatever-dh always acted as if he were responsible for all of it. I said something to him once and he said that he thought of us as a team so when he said "I" he was speaking for both of us Smile

Even though bm is not very bright, she knew who actually did everything and actually said just that. He was sitting at home with ss one time and she called ME at work about a pick up time-he got kinda pissy with her (as I got a little pissy that she was bugging me at work without even trying to call him)and she said "Well, SHE is the one who takes care of him right?"

I never felt my dh was trying to "hide" me, but rather it was just a sort of pride thing with him, IMO. He wanted to appear as if he was some sort of super involved dad and didnt wish to admit that he truly had no clue about the majority of the day to day functioning in our household.

alwaysanxious's picture

I don't wash skids clothes. I didn't do it when SD lived here either. SS12 and SD15 have been doing their own laundry at BMs for the last year, which I think is great.

At our house, SO does there weekend laundry. I'd be mad, but I don't really want them messing with my nice washer and dryer.

AliceP's picture

For some reason I feel the need to make sure the skids go home with absolutly NO dirty laundry and everything is clean and neatly folded. I think it's to prove to BM that I am a better housekeeper then her. lol

marty15's picture

I don't do Skids laundry and I refuse to touch SS13's nasty socks plus it's just too intimate to me -- handling some teenage boy's (who is not my own kid) underwear...ewww.
DH understands and doesn't expect me to. I have suggested that maybe someday SS can do his own laundry, maybe when he reaches high school age next year? But I won't hold my breath. Smile

MamaBecky's picture

My laundry has to be done at a public laundry facility Sad So DH and I always go together. I load the washer, he loads the dryer. We go once weekly and do the entire families laundry.

On a side note I take credit for the things my DH will do all of the time. I'm always telling people "I will do that", "I will look that up", "I will get that"...when in reality I am going to have my DH do it! LOL Sometimes I fully intend to do it and it just ends up being easier to have him...and sometimes in the context of the conversation I am having it is just semantics. The point is it will get done...one of us will do it.