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Wow how things have changed.

Jcksjj's picture

I almost died of shock last night. DH, who used to think the entire world revolved around SD (not just his, but everyone's), suggested we go visit his very ill grandpa without SD. Said it would be safer since he is obviously elderly and high risk for covid and she has mostly been with BM (and therefore we have no idea about exposure).

This would be a 4 hour trip to a touristy city. DH of four years ago would NEVER have attended a family function without SD, let alone go on a trip without her. He thought MY family would be devastated if she wasnt at our family functions even and we should plan to have her for all of those. He literally thought everyone was just as obsessed with her as he was, especially since BM and GBM and MIL encouraged him to make her the center of the universe. I mean, he even sent a picture of her playing in the yard to the realtor they used because the realtor just "loved her so much." He thought it was a sin to get a babysitter and have a night out and that it would be like saying he didnt want her around. 

So anyone who has obsessive daddies with miniwives on here- things can change.

Comments

LoverofReality's picture

I'm so stinking happy that you have seen changes! That's wonderful. Reading this quick blurb about his obsession is nauseating and I hope he realizes that he's damn lucky you stuck around! I couldn't.  

Jcksjj's picture

Thanks!

I hope he realizes too, haha. 

GrabitAndGo's picture

I'm stuck on DH thinking YOUR family would be devastated if they didn't get to see SD.  WTF????

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah...so back when SD was little BM was a SAHM. BM, GBM and MIL are all very similar in personality and incredibly narcissistic. So all 3 of them would promote SD being treated as the center of the universe for their own selfish reasons and DH basically lived in this weird little universe where everything he did was either good for SD if it suited any of their purposes or "bad for SD" if it didnt please them. So I guess he thought that was normal thinking and everyone just worshipped children (or his in particular, idk. She was a god awful brat at that point). At the time there wasnt really any outside influences since SD didnt go to daycare or anything to bring him back to reality a little bit. Then he started dating me and then she started going to school and he got more realistic feedback from some of her teachers. 

thinkthrice's picture

Chef was like this as well and the Gir was a stay-in-bed mom.  Chef would tell me to go to adult events on my own because his ferals "need him."  This was when he was on EVERY weekend and weekday nights as well.

Bad

Jcksjj's picture

Stay in bed lol. Yep, my DH had SD every night at that point so I thought it was silly. BM had her during the day - it was a weird arrangement.

Willow2010's picture

He thought MY family would be devastated if she wasnt at our family functions 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thats so funny.  My DH was the same way about SS.  I really hated to tell him that MY family could care less if HIS son was at a function.  

Jcksjj's picture

To be fair, my family tries too hard to be nice and inclusive and end up going over the top so I can see how they fed into it also. It annoys the sh*t out of me. But when shes not there they dont even ask about her so obviously they dont actually care that much.

SubstituteMommy's picture

That's awesome! It's a great thing when they don't act like their "precious little princess" is the center of everyone's universe. The first time that we went on a little family trip without SD9 was so much fun! We have her full-time and during the rare times that she isn't with us, it's so nice to actually feel like it's a vacation. I love getting my breaks. I hope for your sake that your DH keeps his head out of his a** when it comes to your SD.

Jcksjj's picture

The vacations I've went on with SD have all been awful. She cant even act normal for an hour to eat at a restaurant.

SubstituteMommy's picture

I feel your pain. Mine turned Disneyland into a nightmare for me. I booked and paid for a redemption trip the next year WITHOUT SD. It was a blast!

Aniki's picture

I think it will be hilarious if no one mentions SD...

Enjoy the SD-free visit. Prayers for grandpa. 

Jcksjj's picture

Lol I'm wondering if they will or not. I'd imagine they'd at least ask where she is. We'll see I guess.

missginger's picture

We do a lot with SD16 when shes not with DH but not once since we met have we ever done something on a Wed night or every other weekend he has here! I mean not even go to a party for a few hours. He thinks he is abandoning her or something.bWe went to a brewery to meet some firends for a couple beers one Saturday afternoon (this was late last year when SD was old enough to stay here for a few hours) but didnt she come with us? So annoying!!! 

Jcksjj's picture

At 16? Ick. I'm hoping SD gets some friends or a boyfriend to stalk by like 12 and loses interest in dh

UpgradeWife's picture

my husband used to be like that. Like, can't go on a trip without SS. His son is going to an adult next year. I've started wondering how my DH is going to cope with his son being out of our house and not going on trips with us.