"I'm expected to do all of the inside household chores"

No, just no. Your husband should also be pulling his weight. Taking care of the home is NOT a job for the little woman - you both live there, therefore you should both be doing your fair share. 

Besides that, as nearly always, it's your partner who is the problem. Your SD is the way she is because of the way she was brought up.

I have SS21 who is Autistic and lives with us full time. I am grateful that I don't have to deal with another parent, his mom has been out of the picture for most of his life. 

There are a lot of important studies that have shown that routine and structure and purpose are very important to Autistic adults. 

My SS drives me crazy most of the time, but I love him and will do anything for him. 

Important things I have established:

SS has to work and pay rent. He has a job with a job coach through the DARS program and works 3 days a week. The rent goes into a savings account that he doesn't know about. He has about 10K in there now from over the last 2 years. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me! 

SS has chores:

1.  His job is to empty the dishwasher daily If he doesn't do it before dinner, he also has to deal with dinner dishes. (Let me tell you how many times I have had to do dinner dishes- like 5 times in over 3 years! He just won't do it in a timely manner so he makes more work for himself- that is his own fault)
2. He also has to clean his room and wash his sheets weekly. I have an alarm on my phone to check his room on Wednesday's and Sunday's. If his room is not in order he loses privileges to his cell phone, video game consoles, TV until it is correct. Sometimes for longer if it is really bad. 

I will not tolerate disrespect and SS21 knows it. His father backs me up 100%. We have threatened to throw him out over his attitude. He is reminded that he lives in our home by our grace and nothing else. He is 21. He is an adult. He is not required to live in our home. That usually sends him into "I'm so sorry" mode real fast. 

If my husband did not have my back with my expectations of SS21, I could not do this. I know he won't ever live on his own (or at least it is unlikely) and he isn't my kid. I don't have that from birth bond with him and this is hard stuff. It is really frustrating to have to fuss at a grownass man who can't remember to shower or shave or let the dog out. 

You and your husband need to have joint expectations for her. You have to be on the same team. It isn't about you hating her, but it is about her having proper life skills. Mommy and Daddy won't be around forever and she needs to be able to survive with the basics. Parents have to teach that and if she is high functioning, which she sounds like she is- able to graduate, verbal, can work with assistance- she needs to have those expectations and purpose to her own life. 

Why are you cooking dinner when you worked all day and your DH was home doing nothing? He should be cooking you dinner! In any case, he is treating his daughter like a wife and you like a servant. It is time for a "come to Jesus" on who is playing what role in the household dynamics. He needs to understand that you are his wife and that comes with certain expectations - like sitting at the end of the table.

Why are you cooking dinner when you worked all day and your DH was home doing nothing? He should be cooking you dinner! In any case, he is treating his daughter like a wife and you like a servant. It is time for a "come to Jesus" on who is playing what role in the household dynamics. He needs to understand that you are his wife and that comes with certain expectations - like sitting at the end of the table. And common courtesy would dictate that he should ask you if you want something to drink - it was the least he could do!

As other's have said above you have a DH problem, I'm sure you know this, but the question is what do you want to do about it? Do you want to try and get counseling for you and DH so that you can learn to work together as partners and address how he needs to help SD24 learn to function on her own as best she can? Do you think your DH would even be on board to do anything like counseling? Do you think giving your DH ultimatums (SD24 gets a job or I'm out) would work? Ultimately you have to look at your own life and where you want it to be 20-30 years from now.

He's an awful partner to you and he's a bad dad not preparing his daughter for real life without him.  How very sad.  She sounds like she has so much potential.  
 

This is no way to live. You deserve so much better ! Put your foot down and demand real change.  I'd divorce if this did not happen. 
 You deserve happiness and someone to make you dinner and treat You like the queen you are.  

I just read your first blog and am really wondering why you are still with this guy. Nothing is going to change, he is going to cater to this girl for the rest of his life.

Being bums at home, is send him a list of chores to be done. If you get home and say laundry not done, dinner not made, house vacuumed and mopped etc, you make YOURSELF and YOURSELF ONLY some dinner and go to bed.

when hubby chucks a hissy fit you tell him off you worked a full time job and he and his daughter sat around all day and did nothing practical. That you are not a maid and its time he showed respect anf appreciation for all you do. Get ready for the sob stories from him and "cough cough i think i'm getting sick bs" to try coax you into line, my hubby does it and this is always met with "convenient isn't it that you always get sick when i need to address skid and home environment issues with you as a means for you to get out if addressing them. 

stand your ground or it won't get better!! i hate lazy parents that use cop outs for almost everything 

I have Aspergers. I was diagnosed in adulthood so I went through my childhood being treated as if it wasn't there. Sometimes I do wish I'd been diagnosed as a young child because all the struggles I had growing up make so much sense now. In some ways I think slipping through the cracks has helped by forcing me to push myself to the point where I can effectively mask and pass as normal. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that being on the autism spectrum shouldn't be the crutch or excuse to be absolutely useless at life. Autistic people can be self sufficient - we're just wired a bit different. And that learned helplessness has nothing to do with autism and more to do with poor parenting.

The way i see it, there is no excuse for not teaching your kid(s) as much as possible and helping them to grow up to be as self-sufficient as possible. No matter what their abilities are. Part of parenting is helping your kids to be their best. Something tells me that even if SD didn't have a disability, he still wouldn't make her pull her weight.