I have blogged about my sister being the BM from hell but now I need your advice regarding her being a SD32 from hell.

My dad and my SM have been married longer than my parents were married (parents married 18 years/Dad and SM 27 years). I was 10 years old at the time of the divorce and my little sister was 5. We also have an older sister that was 15 at the time (she’s another crazy blog that I’ll save for later). The issue is my little sister who is now SD32.

The divorce was crazy and my BM was and still is like a lot of your BM’s. She made visitation hard (we didn’t visit), we were an extreme case of PAS, everything was my dad’s fault and our lives were now going to be difficult because he left us and had now run off to live this new wonderful life with another woman. She turned us into her confidents at very early ages, would wake us up in the middle of the night to tell us (my older sister and I) every sordid detail of the divorce. She made us choose a side very early on and we in turn never developed a relationship with our SM or father.

As time went on and I grew up I sought a relationship with my dad, eventually even buying a home one house down from my dad and SM. We have lived a quiet life on a quiet street for about 5 years now. I’m finally getting to know my SM and she’s not so wicked after all  I enjoy her company and I think she enjoys being a part of a family (my family) since she is an only child and her mother lives a state away. I have made it known to my mother and my sisters that she is a part of our lives and will be welcomed in my home just as they are. If they don’t like it they can leave. Needless to say my BM didn’t take this well and was standoffish for a while, but I have her only grandson14 and she eventually relented. Now I’m all about respect and I don’t want anyone to ever feel uncomfortable so if I’m planning something at my house I make sure my mom knows if DH/SM are invited and vice versa , so they get to choose if they want to visit or not. Sometimes I even invite my BM up personally and do special things with just her as she’s the one who always seems to have a problem. My SM could really give a good rip what we do. LOL!

Now the problem. . . . my sisters have rented a house in the neighborhood. I’m talking a couple of streets over people. . . .REAL CLOSE. While my older sister is out town most of the time my younger sister (who has failed to launch I might add) lives there 24/7 with her 6 year old daughter. My SM has been out of town a lot (like a month at a time) visiting her 92 year old mother due to her SF dying so my dad has been alone a lot this summer. I invite him to dinner often and keep my SM up on how he’s doing  (keeping him away from fast food). My baby sis since moving into the neighborhood has been doing the same but with a twist. If she invites my dad my BM has started to mysteriously appear. Keep in mind my BM lives an hour away. The first two times it happened I just chalked it up to a fluke. It is very uncomfortable to say the least. My BM can’t stand my dad and it shows on her face. Not to mention this very sickly feeling that this is being disrespectful and underhanded to my SM because I know for a fact if she were in town this would not be going on.

The last time this happened was Monday night. My sister called me and said dinner would be at her house at 6:00. My dad called me as I was leaving the gym asking if he needed to do a drive by so as to not run into my mother. I assured him that it was a Monday night and that it would just be my family and him. Low and behold if we are not having dinner and my mother pulls up with her overnight bag at 7:00. I was shocked. I could not believe that my mother would travel an hour for a spaghetti/salad dinner. When she walked in the house I flat out asked her “what was up”. She said my niece(6) called her and asked her to come. My younger sister said she had no idea our BM was going to show up (yeah right).

My dad is livid. He has confided in me that he feels like my sister is undermining her marriage and disrespecting my SM (she does this all the time by the way). I totally agree. He wants to confront her. I have asked him to give me time to talk to her. I really don’t want WWIII started here. Our lives were so peaceful before sis moved to the neighborhood. How would you guys approach this?