BM calling DH about adult kids
How do you all feel about that? It urks the crap outta me. I see no reason for BM to contact DH about anything concerning their adult children, unless its a real emergency.
BM still calls DH about their adult children, to b*tch him out about how they need this or that and how he doesn't help them (her jaded opinion.) Mind you this woman doesn't do crap for her kids and has never provided for them financially.
DH told her she doesn't need to call him about the adult kids and if they want something or need him they can call themselves. If it were me, I would tell her strait up DONT CALL ME about the adult kids, not this silly "you don't have to call me" stuff. You have to be firm, direct and clear with idiots.
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A while back my boyfriend's
A while back my boyfriend's daughter wanted to buy a house which was NOT going to happen (crappy job, horrid credit, defaulted on student loan). I am REALLY REALLY REALLY surprised his ex didn't call him to bitch at him about how he should buy the house FOR Princess. For all I know, she probably did...
Yeah, he needs to stop that sh*t for sure. He should just not answer his phone when she calls. If it's an emergency she'll leave a message.
Frankly, one of the top
Frankly, one of the top benefits of step kids aging out, is no more dealing with BM.
BM over here called to talk about SD after she was an adult and DH told her he had nothing to say to her. She got mad and hung up, never called again.
He warned her before SD was 18, that once SD was an adult and CS was done, he would have NO reason to speak to BM. I guess she thought he was kidding.
Unfortunately he still has
Unfortunately he still has one minor child with her and he thought she was calling about him. So occasionally he does pick up her calls, but once she starts up about the other kids he should just cut her off and not entertain any convo about them. He has always told me he will have no reason to talk to her once the kids are adults but so far he still does!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it irritates me so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is probably treading
He is probably treading lightly with BM because of the minor children. That's my hunch. Once they age out, then he can tell he STOP CALLING!!
Funny this is exactly what we
Funny this is exactly what we are dealing with. SD is 17 so not quite an adult but I wish she WOULD call or text SO about some stuff. I keep hearing from my other SD how rude and disrespectful SD17 is to her mom. I know SO would set her straight if BM would tell him about it. But she hasn't so far.
Now in the beginning she did call him ALL THE TIME about the grown skids.
My MIL does this. It drives
My MIL does this. It drives my FIL insane. FIL's new wife is beyond nice so she never says anything to us about it but I am sure they have had conversations about it behind closed doors.
There was ONE time that my dad contacted my mom about one of my sisters. She was OUT OF CONTROL though. Partying all of the time, leaving her very young children with me, while she was out doing God only knows what... I had to kick her out of my house and my family had an "intervention" of sorts with her. She was pretty bad for a few years after that but she is ok now. Other than that, they haven't contacted each other about us since well before we became adults. Once we got our own cars and drivers licenses, they had no reason to communicate.
When DH and I first got
When DH and I first got together SD was off at Uni and SS was still a minor at home. BM would call to biotch about whatever and would end up yelling at DH. I was with him once and just took the phone and hung up on her. He was horrified and said now you've done it, she'll freak out.
She called back SCREAMING "HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON" And I hung up again before she could say me. Took 3 tries before the idiot realized she wasn't going to get through.
DH just sat there like a deer in the headlights. The only power she had was the power he gave her by listening to her crap.
DH coached SS in sports and saw him almost everyday. He was also best friends with one of SS's teachers and the father of his best friend. SD and her school had his number so if there was ever an emergency someone other than BM would let him know.
Once they got their own phones he told the skids that if they ever needed anything they had to call him. If BM called asking on their behalf they wouldn't get it.
She's called once or twice in the last few years. Not real emergencies but she'd played out all her other audiences and needed someone listen to her.
Recently SD(26) was in Europe and didn't turn her phone on. BM got a message on FB but was convinced that it wasn't her. SD must have been kidnapped and forced to write the message. She was in full freak out because she had no control over SD or the situation. She hadn't wanted SD to go in the first place and tried to guilt her into not traveling. DH said very little and just let her rant and rave. Told her if we hear from SD we'd let her know.
My ex tried something like
My ex tried something like this with me. Our adult DD had a rough financial month recently(in school full time, working two jobs, and if she asks for help she REALLY needs it) and asked her Dad for an advance on some college funds he saves for her. He asked her what I was contributing. Really pissed HER off, and me too.
I hope to never hear his voice again, so I emailed him that she is an adult, neither of us is obligated to help her at all, so if he wants to help her he can, and if not, he doesn't have to. Makes no difference if I do or not, and it's really none of his business.
Got no response from him, but he did give her an advance.
Dh never asks what BM is
Dh never asks what BM is contributing. He already knows the answer is nothing, not that it would matter.
He just doesn't want his kids complaining to BM or anyone else about things they need. If they need something they call him. If he can help or thinks he should, he does. He's said no a few times but to be honest they very rarely ask.
My exH always says ask your Mother, that's what CS is for. (I still get CS for my 21 year old because he's in Uni and in Canada CS goes till they are 25 or done post secondary) My son doesn't even bother asking his Dad anymore. He either does without or if it's important he asks me. He gets all the CS to pay his living, food and extra expenses.
Ugh it's never ending:((.
Ugh it's never ending:((. Yeah that would be an issue for me also. Not sure why they would need to communicate regarding an adult child.
Thing1 was admitted to the
Thing1 was admitted to the hospital over the weekend. He had mono, so not anything super tragic. I left work as soon as his roommate called me to tell me that he was taking him to the hospital.
I texted my daughter, Filter in on the details and told her to call her father and let him know, if that's what she wanted to do.
I have zero interest in telling my ex-husband about an illness that his adult son is perfectly capable of telling him about.
Oh no!!!!!!!! I had mono in
Oh no!!!!!!!! I had mono in high school and it was terrible! Poor thing 1. and I was in Universal Studios Saturday with the kiddos. I kept seeing Thing 1 and Thing 2 stuff and I thought about your kiddos!
yeah - the diagnosis was
yeah - the diagnosis was "reactivated mono."
When we got the results, Thing1 said, "uh, have I ever even HAD mono before?" I didn't think so, but I guess one of those times he was sick in high school, it was mono and we never knew it??
I was one of those parents who didn't believe a kid was sick unless there was vomiting, blood, or a super high fever. Neither of us remembered him ever being super sick, really.
The good news is that it's a mild case, so it's not interfering with school or recruiting season - he is in his last year of business school, and while he DID miss some resume drop deadlines, it could have been a lot worse!!
That's hysterical about Thing1 and Thing2 at Universal
When they were about 2, my grandmother made them little costumes for Halloween. I will have to dig that picture out one of these days 
DH's ex knows he will hang up
DH's ex knows he will hang up on her if she tries that silliness.
Hey you!
Hey you!
*waving!* Someone told me
*waving!*
Someone told me they heard from someone else on here that Admin had banned me. For what I have no idea. Weirdos.
You?? Banned?? Never!!!
You?? Banned?? Never!!!
If DH can't block her and
If DH can't block her and hangs up when she starts talking about the adult skids, I guess you have to hang in there till the last little snow flake leaves the nest... then block the woman.
I'd be more angry at DH than
I'd be more angry at DH than at BM... if skids are adults then why hasn't he blocked BM? Why does he still entertain her calls?
I am irritated with DH when
I am irritated with DH when he entertains her bs. He still answers her calls because they still have one minor child together SS15. He answers the phone then gets sucked into her silliness about the other kids, nothing about their minor child. I wish he would just cut her off when she starts up with irrelevant subjects and keep it strictly business about the one kid they have left. I don't understand why he argues with her when he doesn't need to.
BM2 is such a weirdo and does
BM2 is such a weirdo and does shit like this. I'm not sure if it's intentional or just her "way" she'll call DH with a question/issue about SS17.. but then the conversations goes into other areas of no concern to DH.. like her job, or her other son (not DH's) etc. It's so annoying and DH says he just tunes her out rather than shut her down and have her be all pissy.
DH swears that the minute SS turns 18 he is blocking BM from his phone. I'm holding him to it!!
DH started hanging up when BM
DH started hanging up when BM talked about her personal life (like they were friends). He warned her, she tested it, he did it.
Posts like this make me
Posts like this make me grateful my DH has a zero tolerance when it comes to BM. The only time she calls is when she is calling to talk to SS5 and its at a certain time and day. Any other communication from BM has to come in Email and if it's not important or an emergency he ignores her. He has a running countdown til the day he can say "F^^k you" and block her without getting in trouble. Perhaps your DH could make a Email only arrangement until the last little one is out.