Prayers ANSWERED!
So.... Demon seed SS15 came back home from living with his mom for the last 6 months. DH decided that living with his mom was not the best environment for him. Well after only 1 day back, DH is ready to send him back and let him live with his mom permanently! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
I was dreading him coming back, especially because I'm going through IVF right now and stress is not good for it.
DH sat him down the first day and explained the expectations, rules, guidelines and standards. First thing out of SS mouth was "Well, I don't want to be here and in the state of CA I have a say as to which parent I want to live with" Well.... do you now? He even pulled up the CA law on that online for his dad to see. SS also gave DH a bunch of bs about how he doesn't drink or do drugs, only weed. LMAO! wtf do you think weed is? DH tells him that weed is a drug and SS responds with, "No it isn't, do your research!" THE NERVE! I'm so glad I wasn't there cuz I would have wanted to punch him in the throat. However he feels is besides the point, the law considers it a drug, its still illegal and you are a MINOR lets not forget that! SS claims that it helps him with is anxiety and he hates living with us because his dad is on his a$$ about everything. DAMN RIGHT! The kid needs constant correction. He just wants to have all the freedom and ability to be a slob, lazy, irresponsible and unaccountable. SS sounds exactly like his mom, IGNORANT as hell. Well after that painfully ignorant conversation, DH was over it.
DH sat me down and told me he doesn't want to fight his kid anymore and he's going to let him live with his mom. He said he loves his peaceful home with no drama and doesn't have the energy to deal with an unruly, defiant teenager. I was quite surprised because SS is his favorite kid, he fought so long to keep him. He was always his advocate and ally. Now that he's gone all the way to the left and totally distanced himself, DH is at a loss. I feel kinda bad because SS is a child and needs guidance and direction as well as rules and structure, but on the other hand I'm so relieved. Its been hell these last 10 years dealing with this kid. He can go make his mom's life miserable now. What a relief!
- Journey Perez's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Well for one, teenagers have
Well for one, teenagers have to learn the hard way sometimes for them to grasp reality. It's unfortuate because I'm sure your DH, like most parents, try to spare his kid some of the early realities of life. Part of me thinks that your skid sounds like a typical teenager with the whole weed and smart ass comments so let him go and learn. Secondly, the other part of me, thinks you should worry about how your DH handled his teenager. You said you're IVF well when your blessed little being gets here it will grow into a teenager. Will your DH have time to deal with one then because that one can't be shipped back off. Past behaviors are a big indicator for future behavior so if you can accept it now with no worries then you can't be mad in the future if he pulls the same Hands-Off approach with your child. So the second part of me thinks your DH needs to suck it up and straighten him out. So the kids upset because he can't smoke weed? So what, big flip. He can tell that to the judge when his mother tries to get him back for residential.
This kid is beyond smoking
This kid is beyond smoking weed and normal teenage rebellion. He can't be trusted. He does all kinds of drugs and drinks. His mom lives close to her college campus so he's around a lot of college kids and experimenting with them. He steals, lies, schemes and plots. He stole my car and let his friends drive it while I was out of town, he's been picked up by the cops twice, he has a bad temper, fights, is rude and disrespectful. He just doesn't want to follow any rules.
If God blesses me with a baby I will be overjoyed. I understand the concern about DH possibly being lazy with the new baby. I already know and understand that I will be the disciplinary and I'm okay with that. I just need for him to back me up.
BM doesn't care one way or
BM doesn't care one way or the other if he comes back to her. She will just use him to babysit her other kid, so in her eyes there is a benefit to having him with her. Plus she's all about the meal ticket.
Just hope that BM doesn't try
Just hope that BM doesn't try to ship him back to DH when he's 17, almost ready to age out and BM doesn't want him living with her anymore.
Or that he doesn't want to rebuild his relationship with Dad and tries to guilt Dad into taking him in.
I completely agree with you
I completely agree with you that he shouldn't give up on his kid. That is the part that saddens me. Just so you know before you start bringing up the "karma" thing, I fought long and hard for many years for my DH to keep his troubled kid with us. This has been an ongoing thing for 10 years. As much as I couldn't stand my SS, I pleaded with DH to the very end to not send him to his mom's to begin with. I was willing to sacrifice my peace and happiness so that his son could have a better life and environment. I have been sacrificing the last 10 years, I figured I could hang on a couple more, especially if it meant that his son would turn out better.
One thing I realized is that even though I have raised SS since he was 5 yrs old, he is not my son and I have never had a say in the direction his parents have chosen to take with their son. Neither one of them has ever taken my advice for their child. EVER.
The truth of the matter is that I'm tired of fighting my husband over it. I have just let it go and accepted that SS is not mine and I can't save him. The one person that can, doesn't want to. There is nothing I can do about that. I'm done trying to convince him. I think 10 years of fighting to save his kid is enough. I'm much more at peace now that I have just let go and stop trying to impose my way or compromise my happiness. I'm just letting the cards fall where they may on this one. I've already raised his 2 other kids out of the house to adulthood and as far as I'm concerned I've done my part and gone over and beyond. If SS silly mom wants to take her own child and finish raising him, I'm all for it. If DH is cool with it, than it is what it is. I'm over picking up BM's slack anyway and as far as I'm concerned, SS is just as much her responsibility as DH's.