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Dont want to be involved

juanita47's picture

Hi My name is Juanita and I found this site by fluke and i have been quite enjoying the blogs or forums,Where do i begin and oh how do i start,I have remarried,I have 2 adult kids and my new hubby has 2 adult kids,When we married all seemed great sk get along well with mine,But for some strange reason the ex wife has come back to play games,I have no idea why she calls with nasty messages etc,my hub pays exw sps monthly,sks say our privacy is an open book exw is not,To me this is not fair,I need help ,I try and stay out of all issues of this But i feel like I am being a target,No one from previous worlds have the right to know about me,But my own,Am i right?,exw seems to be doing well financially new house,car etc working but we dont know where and due economic pressures my DH hours have been reduced,DH keeps getting the guilt trip,you know the words DON'T,I understand the protection issues of each parent but this is not happening on our end,I know what sps is and what it is for to get another back on their feet and when this is vivid then can sps not be termintaed,Enough is Enough,I am starting to see the hardships each pay period and the anger and it hurts me to see this yet sks do not see the issue,I am just asking for some advice and some relief thats all I do not want any pressures or games ive been there done that.
sincerely juanita

Comments

byebye's picture

Like you DH has 2 adult kids and I have 2 adult kids, but thank god DH never had to pay spousal support like yours is doing. I can understand your resentment when the EW seems to be doing fine. Since DH's hours have been reduced, changing his income, can DH go back to court and get the SPS reduced? I don't know, I'm no expert.

I don't know why your adult skids have anything to say about your privacy. The issues for you and DH should only be with EW regarding SPS. Adult skids are not in the equation, right? I'd tell those grown-ups to BUD OUT!

juanita47's picture

SKS say BM has the right to know everything about me,This starts exw ball rollin,Dh can go back to ct aye,but the prob is Dh has nothing to go on as he knows nothing about ew sks say (i dont know)and yet they live with her

juanita47's picture

hi passion thanks for the reply i think i need help how to work this site lol

juanita47's picture

thanks for all advice

Angel's picture

doesn't have to know anything about you, but with two adult steps, that'll be hard. It is up to your husband to put a stop to it. Your privacy is being violated and he needs to protect you. Your life is none of her business.

juanita47's picture

You are so right angel i feel like my personal life has been violated,I keep telling myself dont worry it will all stop,But its not going too as long as my DH has to continue paying sps to exw,whom has everything going for her ,her own home etc etc and stkids continue to say she is poor and yet its all ok that she calls my phone and leaves horrible messages and i always feel she is right behind me everywhere i go,adult stpkids say they have no control over what she does,I am positive for some reason she knows more about me then i know about her,ive never met this woman and i dont want too,everyone says dont worry this too shall pass but it eats at me knowing that something horrible is going to happen i just feel it.why can she not just get on with her life she was the one whom wanted out,the kids are grown on their own why can she not just leave us all alone,I want to be left alone and live my life

hopeful12's picture

Welcome juanita, First off why does she have your numbers? If it were me I would change my number she has NO reason to contact you or H. The kids are adults so there is NOTHING to talk about! There is nothing that the SKs don't tell her and can't tell H themselves. I was so :sick: to hear that is continues as adults!!! My h keeps telling me that "it's only four more years and SD will be 18 and the "moo cow" will be gone... There goes that plan LOL.. H needs to put his foot doen and tell EW... to get a life. I would drag her ass back to court and prove her assests... Lucky my h never had to pay sps. but we have paid a whole lot more. I would try and put that evil B*tch in her place b4 she gets to involved in your life. Make her step back and move on.. PERIOD..
Again welcome!!

BridgingTheGap's picture

There is no need for her to contact DH. Like everyone said, the kids are grown so there is no need to discuss anything. I am also fiercely private. I believe that the only things that an X needs to know about should be in regards to the kids. Anything else is absolutely none of their business.