Dont you love it when people say Oh Well this all comes with the package
Im sure we have all heard this one,Yes we know,But I am sure there are other ways we can make it easier if the BM would just mind her own buisness,Not fry the childs mind even if they are adults like my situation,I know this all comes with the package I do not need to be told,I am all grown up helloooooo been there done all that,I am a Bm and a SM and very proud of my new extended family,I make it the best I can but sometimes i feel like Im being cornered yet i dont get involved in any issues with DH and skids,I just wish other people would not say oh well you knew what you were getting into too but some dont see what we see after months and years people change kids change hellooooooo,family and friends dont see nor know the past lives and actions ,In my situation I have heard over and over watch out for exw she is lethal then I feel like Im being stalked in my own life,I keep looking over my shoulder at whom is around me afraid she might get into my face as ive only seen her from a distance,What i dont understand is why the skids think this is all ok,What Im saying is noone knows this package until they are in it
juanita xoxox
Sometimes the "package"
JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'
should come with it's own bomb squad! I loathe phrases like, "we're a package deal", or "you knew what you were getting into when you married" or the biggie - "you knew he/she had kids" - yeah, but not the children from hell!
bomb squad I love it
Hey thats a perfect description love it,I know those phrases suck If only people could understand that we are just trying to be happy,life is all about living and being happy,Sometimes i think someone should have made another world just for those BM and BD that dont want anyone to be happy,hmmmmmm call it unhappy land ,with a bang,
In my opinion before men put themselfs back on the market...
they need to decide WHO they plan to be loyal to BM or the new wife/GF. If they have a psycho ex the answer both is not going to work. If they are not willing to stand up for the new wife/GF or make "waves" with BM then in my opinion they have no right in getting married a 2nd time. They should wait till "darling kids" are 18 and on their own.
Crayon, how about
HA HA!! I love those! how about
5. Does your ex have mental issues.
If yes, go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass go, etc.!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
"Darling Kids" and 18
18? Nah. DHs oldest is 23, and nowhere close to "on her own". The skids still demand every dollar they can guilt out of daddy, and every ounce of his loyalty. If he caves to the "manipulative, brainwashing witch" (me), they assault us and threaten our lives.
The truth is
that you have absolutely no idea what your are going to get once you go step. You can read about it and prepare all you want but you never really know how each individual in the household is going to react.
Also, when you are dealing with people whose personalities you are not familiar with and have no history with, it is extremely difficult to be thrown together in a house. I think that this is one of the factors that make it so hard. You do not have the chance to grow together.
Then there are the boundary issues with the ex. Often they are too blurred and that is very frustrating to the new partner. You end up feeling abused, alone and like the fifth wheel. You are out of the loop with the kids, the inlaws, school, etc... It tears away at you and then you begin to wonder how you are supposed to fit into all of this and if it is even really worth it at all. At least this is what my experience has been.
I try to remain positive and find that "happy place" but sometimes it is very hard to stay there. So, in response to your question about people and their comments, I think the comments suck and that people should keep their mouths shut because they have no idea what we deal with.
BM is not part of the package
The kids are part of the package,,NOT the crazy X..I know for a long time when I first Divorced my X caused me MAJOR drama..I had to put an end to that before I could move on. I never wanted to say to a potential date..well I have a daughter AND A psycho XH that is part of the package.
When I said I have a daughter..that was the truth..when I said I have no baby daddy drama..that was the truth.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
I also love when they say
you knew what you were getting into
So rude
That is so rude and thoughtless. Anyone who says this should get their life decisions held under the microscope too, I am sure anyone can be picked apart this way.
Its just rude!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
This is what really irritates me about these statements
Such as: "This comes with the package" "You knew what you were getting into" "This is what you signed up for" etc.
If you told the same person that you were being disrespected, abused, harassed etc. in any other part of your life, that would not be the reaction you get. For example:
"OMG!! BM called me 20 times, left a bunch of voicemails and text messages calling me a slut and a whore and said that she was going to call the police on me for something that she made up and I didn't even do!!!!" Response:
"Well you knew what you were getting into" or "This is what you signed up for"
Next example:
"OMG!! This woman I work with at the office called me 20 times, left a bunch of voicemails and text messages calling me a slut and a whore and said that she was going to call the police on me for something that she made up and I didn't even do!!!!" Response:
"Holy crap!! You better call the police and get a restraining order and take her to court and charge her with harassment and defamation of character!!!!"
:O
I'm sorry ladies, but I fail to see why the first example is okay, but the second one is need for anger and revenge??? For some odd and inexplicable reason, when you get into a relationship with someone who has kids you somehow automatically sign up for disrespect, abuse, harassment, maltreatment, etc. and you are expected to take it with a smile like its the most normal and natural thing in the world?!?! I don't get it. Where does the screw get loose?
Amaurea!
I couldn't have said it any better. And I absolutely agree with you.
YES I DO
As much as
"Well that's just normal teenager behavior."
"She's a really good kid - FOR US."
"Well...her parents are divorced, OF COURSE she acts out."
"Oh well. You know that BM is just acting like every other exWife out there."
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE JAB OF THE WEEK-
"Well you are JUST THE SM."
Thank you- I'll be here ALLLLLL night! BA-DUM-DUM-TSH!
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
Ummm....
Ok.. the ONLY person who says that to me is.... SD ! She informs me that it's my JOB to do everything for her, because "that's what you signed on for when you got with my dad"
OMG !!!! I'm going to go scream into my pillow !
My child and step-children are not pieces of luggage
And I had no idea what I was getting into. When FH and I met, all the kids were there. I didn't even consider him at first because he had children. But his kids were so sweet to me; sitting on my lap, telling me I'm nice and pretty, blah blah blah. Only when I thought to myself, "I could love these children," did I look at FH in that way, and fell HARD.
His kids loved me and got along very well at first. It was my daughter (who is a human being and not a grocery bag) who took the bullying and nastiness from his daughters. That's when their evil natures emerged. If those kids were "packages" I would have shipped them back.
The next person that says this to me
just may get busted in the chops-!! Why, I oughta-!!!!!! LOL
"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
- Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), 'Pollyanna', 1912