So, very very long story, but the short of it is this: Last night we got into a terrible fight. We are separating but still living together. The children were here, all in their rooms, and I was preparing to leave so that things didn't escalate to a point where they would hear us. Unfortunately, he followed me downstairs to the door, and continued to argue with me. He was being very loud and I kept telling him quietly that the kids might hear and to please lower his voice. I would have just walked out the door, but was really worried that his reaction might be extreme, and the kids would overhear us. He continued to say some pretty awful things and loudly. I knew at this point at least one of them would hear. Finally, he went upstairs, and his 13 year old daughter came down crying, asking if I was ok. I gave her a hug and told her that I was fine. She said she heard everything daddy said and asked why he would say such things to me and why he would tell me to leave and not come back. I tried to explain that it was grownup stuff, that we got a little mad at each other and sometimes grownups act like kids - but not to worry about it. She asked me if I was leaving, and I told her no, not tonight. She said she knew something was going on and everything was changing and asked why it had to be so complicated. Again, I tried to tell her how much I love her and that she shouldn't have to worry, I was sorry she heard it, and just go relax and get some sleep.

I am devastated. I am just so upset that this happened while they were here and she heard it. I want to try to talk to her a little more about it, but I'm not sure what are the right things to say. Has anyone had to deal with this before? I want to let her know that even though I may not be here in the future, it doesn't mean I won't be in her life if she wants me to be. I want her to not have to worry and be upset and confused. I want her to enjoy her time as a child and not have to deal with this. I'm just not sure how to handle this right now.