3 days!

And DH's oldest is 18!

In a way I almost feel bad. He asked what we were doing Sunday and I told him throwing a party.

"Oh she will like that!"

Eh, I was throwing myself a party of thank GOD one is grown and gone. Not so much a birthday party. Guess I am stuck now throwing a bday party... since he did not pick up on the sarcasm in my tone.

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Maybe he'll get the hint when

Maybe he'll get the hint when the cake says "Congrats JHW! One Down..."

i wouldn't do it. at least not for my sd. she will be 20 next month, and the last time i did anything for her bday was when she turned 13. since she decided no one else could have any of the cake I bought for her bday, that was the last time i did anything for her bday. she may have been half joking when she said it, but only half. i don't care. it was rude and shitty and the last time she ever got a cake on this side of her family! parties? HELL NO. i will not celebrate her birth, not even to fake it. i rue the day she was born. i need to go out and drink on that day! she's lucky she gets invited to my kids bdays.

So, on the cake write, "Happy

So, on the cake write, "Happy Birthday to you, Good Riddance for Me" or "Happy Birthday and Goodbye" or "Happy 18th- Finally!". I'm sure we can come up with something good.

I was thinking: "Welcome to

I was thinking:

"Welcome to being an adult: now grow the F up"

My coworkers seem to think it would be in bad taste though. I did buy her a birthday present.

Luggage. And packed all her crap that was in our house in it. Yes, I even put the nasty pad I found under her bed in it.. right on top so when she opens it in front of everyone they can see for themselves what she likes to save/keep.

BIL and SIL are bringing her over Sunday for a brief family party. Guess at their house she has daily room inspections, and since she is not working to contribute to her part of household expenses, she has to work it off with lawn mowing, cleaning the house and washing their cars. And her work gets inspected. Every chore. Daily.

DH did offer BIL some cash to help cover expenses since the kid is a senior this year in school. BIL turned it down, said she is gonna be 18 and she can earn her way and learn mommy and daddy don't pay for her upkeep as an adult, she gets to. SIL has taken her out twice now, made her pick up applications for jobs, made her fill them out and made her take them back and turn them in.

No the kid is not taking all this gracefully. She thinks they are mean and not treating her like family. She is about one snarky comment from BIL tossing her to the lawn.

Good for BIL & SIL for laying

Good for BIL & SIL for laying down the law. It will be good for her.

Years ago, luggage was a very common graduation gift. For a reason. Because back then, we were expected to become responsible adults, to at least try being independent, instead of being spoiled, rotten brats relying on everybody else to take care of us.

It s BS they make people pay

It s BS they make people pay after 18.... Married parents do not always pay for college so why force divorced parents too?

She is not allowed to "live"

She is not allowed to "live" in the house per the court order (and per my telling DH that if he wanted to live w her.. he could find somewhere else to live). She has been living with BIL and SIL since she got out of juvie.

She is allowed to see her siblings, so the party will be at our house apparently Sunday with BIL SIL bringing her over then leaving with her. I flat told DH he has two hours. She will not be in my house for longer than 120 minutes.

I think that's really

I think that's *really* generous of you imo. Appreciate initially you said it out of sarcasm and you got caught into doing this, however you could have retracted and done so legitimately and reasonably.

I hope you and DH have discussed how you are going to manage her while she is at your home? i.e. what happens if she is rude, sarky, insolent, ignorant to you or in fact anyone? I think you need to agree to this beforehand and have a codeword for "get that mess out of my house NOW...". Perhaps "pity party" is suitable?

Never fails to amaze me that this girl cannot see how many chances she has had, and each one she has F'd up because ofcourse SHE is the victim, even when SHE orchesrates things. She seriously has some mental health issues imo.

You have a really good point.

You have a really good point. I had not sat him down and gone over acceptible behavior. That is now at the top of my list for conversation this evening!

Oh she is the victim, totally, in her mind

I am at fault for not letting her back into my house and having her arrested because I could have convinced that doctor not to call the cops.

Her dad is at fault because if he hadnt spanked her then she would not have been angry and would not have thrown a Doc Martin at her sister, breaking her nose and getting herself into more trouble.

BIL and SIL are at fault for making her work so hard at the house "they do NOTHING they expect me to DO IT ALL". Kid they pay all the bills and let you live in their house... shut up already.

She will blame everyone and anyone except: herself and her mother.

Thanks for the

Thanks for the reminder!

Considering how sneaky she is: I might need to super glue it shut!

Ribs actually feel ok. What

Ribs actually feel ok. What hurts is my right hip. I have a bruise the exact shape of my seat belt latch on my hip. Once I am moving around its ok. If I sit for a few hours then get up, eesh, I am limping like a 90 year old that forgot her cane! Even the pelvic bone isn't as sore as that hip. Doc says it is the difference between breaking a bone and bruising it, that it hurts less to break it.

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