Last nights nightmare
I know that so many of you are going to tell me that this is why SS14 shouldn't even come on our vacation but we all know that DH is going to try until the end. I am just supporting his choice and rolling with it. I don't have any fight left in me at this point.
Anyway, last night I had a nightmare that we were all at the airport and SS came walking through the gate with no luggage. Looked at me and looked at DH and said "I hate you both" then walked past us saying that we needed to buy him everything for the cruise because BM told him not to pack a suit case. I lunged at him in my dream. ready to punch this little sh!+. DH held me back and I was screaming at him.
I woke up pretty fast and couldn't fall back asleep for hours. All of the possible scenarios kept playing in my head... what if he acts like that right off? What if he is that cruel? What if...
I don't think that is what is going to happen. In person, I think he will be all hugs and "I love you's" and crap. I think, he thinks, he is a big man behind his cell phone but in person- face to face - I don't think he has the balls to say anything mean to DH. Mostly because he won't actually talk to DH. He might text him here and there. Sometimes it is normal and sometimes it is him being a PAS'ed little shit but he won't talk to him. It is like he is scared of what will happen when he hears his dad's voice or something, I can't describe it.
I have already decided to pack a bag for him with my DS's old clothes. DS and SS wear really close to the same size so if he really shows up with nothing, I will be prepared with hand-me-downs. I know that is silly to think about but after that dream I am not taking any chances, my anxiety won't let me! LOL
I just don't know what I am going to do if he acts anywhere close to how he did in my dream. I already have planned with SS18, DS13, DD11 that if he is not going to act like a part of our family then we will do things with out him and DH can deal with him. DH is on board with making sure the other 3 have a great time and has said he isn't going to put me in a place where I can't enjoy myself. So at least there is that.... But I swear to God... If he hurts my husband, if I see tears again in the eyes of the man that I love more than anything... I am going to release hell on that boy. I just know I will. (Reminder to self: get a double Xanex rx before the trip...)
** We still haven't heard back from the GAL regarding the "substance abuse" allegations on DH that were in SS's medical records. Or the final call on what the GAL is recommending. The GAL is apparently not responding to our lawyer either... so this is all fun.
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Comments
Good idea to be prepared.
Good idea to be prepared.
When a GAL stops responding,
When a GAL stops responding, it is usually because they haven't been paid.
Interesting... We paid him,
Interesting... We paid him, so you would think he would respond to us at least, right?
I might make a phone call today to find out if that is why...
Our BM refused to pay the GAL
Our BM refused to pay the GAL. Partly because she's entitled to a free ride in life, partly to drag her feet, but mostly because he didn't side with her.
Your BM wants as little outside perspective as possible.
I called and he is out of the
I called and he is out of the office. His secratary said that he wouldn't stop responding to us because BM didn't pay but that he was on vacation for most of last week and was probably just behind in catching up. I left a voicemail and the secratary said she would make a point to mention us when he got back to the office this afternoon.
FINGERS CROSSED we hear something!!
My SS absolutely never
My SS absolutely never behaved with DH like he did when he was texting rotten things. Never.
He did once show up for a week's vacation wearing baseball cleats with no sneakers, so that was as close to your dream as BM could get. He wore DH's old ones for the week.
Probably wise to have a backup plan ... but honestly - my guess is that he himself will not show up at all. BM will have a ready made excuse for why he's not there (too sick, couldn't force him to go, etc).
I remember being a little
I remember being a little older than him...16 I think and going on vacation with my mom and brothers and wishing the whole time that I was back home because I had a new boyfriend and even though I loved going on vacation that was more exciting to me. Idk the back story and theres obviously more going on, but I dont think it's really that crazy for a teenager to be nit excited about family vacations. BUT I will also say I didnt refuse to go or act like a brat in any way and I'm sure my mom had no idea that I would have preferred not to be there. I'm sorry he is making you feel bad about it.
Disengage from him and SO
Have fun with your kids. You make the daily plans, We are going to sit at the pool from 9 to 11, having lunch 11 to 12. This in the afternoon, diner at 6. See show at 8;pm. If SO and SS wants to act like a person they are invited to be with you and the family. If not here are on there own. If he screws up, he not invited anymore
That is exactly my plan!
That is exactly my plan! Besides, this is probably the last time we will ever see him- if he even comes.
Just curious, has your DH
Just curious, has your DH discussed a plan to talk to SS about the way he's been acting at all? I feel that it's so extreme that a conversation would be warranted. Just wondering if the plan is to address it in a convo, or ignore it.
You know what really sucks
You know what really sucks about that... the GAL sent our lawyer a recommendation that we do not discuss his behavior with him.
How is that for some BS?? We asked for clairification of what that means and haven't gotten a response.