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I am the only one just constantly annoyed by it all

kaffonseca's picture

Submitted by kaffonseca on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 9:21am

ugh..I know it has to stem from a personal problem I'M having..in all honesty SK's are not bad kids...they are better kids than my own BD was..I just feel so overwhelmed lately and frustrated with them AND my FH.

My FH works long hours..not his choice..that is his schedule..he works from like 9am to 7-9pm each night..he only has Thursdays and Sundays off..so we basically have NO free time. On his days off he takes SS2 overnight and all day and SS5 lives with us 24/7 as BM is nowhere to be found and FH has full custody. I pick up SS5 from daycare and take care of him..by the time FH is home SS is ready for bed. Than FH just sits on couch and watches sports or whatever else he is watching til 2am..he gets mad at me cuz' I actually go to bed at a decent time and don't stay up all hours of the night (his X didn't work so she'd sleep all day and stay up with him).

And now SS5 has started peeing himself..at night..or even during the day when he doesn't "make it to the bathroom"...SS5 is also not listening to me like he did in the beginning.I'll tell him not to do something and 2 minutes later he does it again. I NEVER have alone time..this past Sat. I had to go get something done to my truck..I told FH a WEEK before that I did not want to bring SS as he would be COMPLETELY bored and in the way..guess what..he couldn't find anyone to watch him. I had to reschedule my appt. until this Sat.

Than on the Thursday nights he has SS2 he doesn't get home with him til about 9..like last night..got home at 9..immediately boys are in the room arguing about who's toy is who's. I totally find myself disengaging..let FH handle it.my BD is 13 and I've raised her thru it all already. So 10:30 the boys are STILL in room playing..I tell my daughter (who is still up)..go to bed you have school tomorrow..11pm boys STILL up and LOUD in their room. I get an attitude with FH and tell him HELLO!!!! he than puts them to bed.

I'm just to the point that I'm annoyed, frustrated..and thinking WHAT am I TRULY getting out of this .. I also just had a "chemical" pregnancy..which is basically a VERY early miscarriage and I feel like I really got no attention from FH. Maybe that is why I'm so fed up - maybe I'm just very emotional right now..but seriously - Is it TRULY worth it?????

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kaffonseca's picture

Submitted by kaffonseca on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 9:28am

FH can barely handle the daycare he pays for SS during the week. I know alot of it is my fault because I offered in the very beginning..I guess I really didn't REALIZE how much I was taking on..so I blame myself alot for it..but once FH started to take advantage of it (he actually questioned me a few weeks ago when I left SS with my BD to go walking by myself..said it was "weird" that I didn't bring him)I started really feeling this way.

And he's asked a few people to watch him and no one ever can..I could prob. find someone one my own..but than again I think he is not MY child to always take care of him!

As for BM FH has tried to find her. He has hired 9 different sherrifs in CT to try to find her..honestly last time we heard she was a dominatrix in CT - seriously!

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

namaste123's picture

Submitted by namaste123 on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 9:31am

you're not the only one. I am constantly annoyed and p.o.'d as well. I've become highly irriatable. It seems that this is ALL i think about 24/7. I think about how miserable I am, thinking about the future (or lack of a future or my dreams comming true) makes me mad and sad. The mere fact that BM even exists makes me mad. The fact BF had a marriage and a family before me upsets me. The fact that we spent a year together first, without BM and kids anywhere around, and now they are a constant in my life. I've let it completely take over my life, and that too makes me mad.