That´s the question I ask myself these days.

How much can one person hate, how much trouble can a person stir up, how much crap can she invent?
I´m talking about BM as you probably have figured out by now.

It´s been only two years, but with such intensity it has sucked up most of our energy and made it absolutely impossible for DH and BM to cooperate for the best of the children.

Ever since day one of the divorce process she´s been fighting him, and it´s all been about money! Petty, lousy money. She would kill to get her hands deeper into his pocket, and she expects me to chime in as well. She sued him for alamony claiming he´d spent so much time in front of his computer that she was never able to get a job!! Boy did she loose that case, and she had to pay DH his expenses; $9000.
Now she´s suing him for all their previously shared assets. She wants it all! Everything- period.
Case is due next month, and we know she´ll never ever win this.
But somehow she´s able to find some greedy lawyer that will take her case no matter how insane it is.

But all this affects the skids (13,15,19, 22). Even though they`re big kids they are still young and very confused. They live with their mom by choice (friends, school) and have to listen to her crap all day long. SS13 is behaving badly and show clear signs of becoming like his mom, SS15 is dead confused and don´t know what to believe anymore, SS19 couldn´t care less and SD22 has taker her fathers side and has to withstand her mothers frequent shitstorms.

DH is incredibly kind, loving, warm and friendly. But he also has a hard time speaking up for himself. The ex has badmouthed him so intensely that the 3 sons are starting to believe he´s a monster in disguise. "If you hear it many times, you will end up believing it".
They don´t understand why their mother would lie. We ask them to talk to their sister, but then they reply that their moms says that SD is a liar too- just like her dad.

So here I am, in the midst of this crazy circus. Me, my two lovely children (6,11) and the yapping dog. All I want is peace and quiet!! I want this to be over. I want her to go away. I want his SS13 stop being a monster. I want to NOT spend $$$ every month on lawyers. I cringe whenever I see the mailman, because there might be another ugly letter from her lawyer.

I am a very resourceful woman, and I never have problems standing up for myself. But this is too big for me, and it´s gotten so ugly and messy that there is almost no way of explaining this from the very beginning.

Some days are nice, because I forget all about it. But then his kids visit and I have to endure SS13, I hear what s going on and beeing said at BM´s, letters will arrive, SS13 get into trouble and and and... I´m doing my very best to disconnect, but DH needs my support. This is too heavy a burden for one person to carry.

Praying for all of this to be over soon.