All I can say to that is in time we turn into the B*TCH's anyway, not by choice but because of mean, unruley, satan worshipper bm and their mean, disrespectful, children that neither parent choiced to control let alone tell them to have manners... In time all us SP turn into the "evil ones" that don't want to be that way but know thats just the way it has too be... }:)

"Why doesn't the BM get it, if they knew how to keep their men happy. I would never be the evil stepmother"

Kimber,

Welcome to the community. I hope you find it a good place to vent, contribute and get some useful perspective.

Assertiveness is a survival technique in a Blended Family situation.

Being politely assertive is a necessary. So, state very clearly what your issues are and set the expectation that you expect your DH, Skids and the BM to comply with and don't settle for anything that you are not comfortable with.

At least that is my opinion.

Good luck and best regards,

One day we will get our turn,Right now i feel like a school crossing guard rather then a SM or a BM,Dont you just love when people say,
1.ahhh get over it,suck it up,
2.Ignore it all it is stupid worrying,
3.stop let her continue,exw is just grasping at straws,
4,Adult stpkds say sorry but we cannot control what mom does or says,
5.Its ok that BD is maintaining BM with her new house and car so what,
6.adult stpkids say we dont know where mom works(ya ok)
7.I love this one-(Its ok BM is calling BM and saying horrible things and threatens,In fact its funny,Its ok that BM writes horrible things on facebook so all can see,
8.just let it all go
9.just keep quiet lay low and you will be the last one smiling ya ok whatever,
Where are the laws and the courts and the judge in all this crap,We should not have to be quiet,We should be allowed to speak also as the new wife,SM,It is us whom see our DH going through the pain and heartache of paying and paying to sometimes improve exw lifestyle and for exw to take and take and take,And at times the children suffer,either in blame,stuck in the middle,or going without things like clothing etc or brainwashed thinking this is all ok,What happened to DAD in all this,I feel its time for the true and honest and respected SM to take a stand and cross the road when we want,Im going to drop my no crossing sign and speak my way,and cross over I have to do this my way this will give me some peace,best of luck

no way should we have to be quiet

BM cant do a damn thing her childish ways umm no i take that back her sick ways will get slapped back in her face when she least expects it,she has no powers anymore, she is the little ant in the hole and one day there wont even be a hole lol her control is no longer wanted the past is the past i do not want to meet her nor know her like i said she is not worth a sec of my time she only be littles herself lol

The judge in my H's custody hearing put it best when she addressed the step-parents (there were two of us in this case).....She said our job would be the most difficult to deal with, because we'll always be the ones having to hold the coats.

I have disengaged from step-parenting and dealing with BM......but I help H behind the scenes. But once in a while, I get my day to shine.

Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy

and sooner or later these BM's will go through it themselves. I gave my x's first wife hell. I'll admit it. She was moving into the house as me and my son were moving out. I was hurt, and took alot of it out on her. She's not with him anymore, and now when I think about it I hope and pray it wasn't to get away from me! But you know what? I've been paid back, times three! BM is wayyyyyyyyyyyy worse than I ever dreamed of being and tortured us for years.

From first hand experience, it will come back to her. You may not be there to see it, but it will happen!!

I used to call her all the names that some peeps on here have called me from time to time........until I walked a mile in her shoes. I didn't move in DH's house as his wife was moving out though. He moved in with me! Not like that makes it much better, but c'mon, she's carrying boxes in as I'm carrying them out. But, I have to say, I used to be on a high horse of morals myself until I met and fell in love with DH. I couldn't turn my back on him, I couldn't. I loved him to much. Some say that I should have, but I couldn't. I was to weak.....

And I wouldn't change it, even now. I love him to peices and wouldn't want to live my life without him.

You never know how you'll handle something until you actually walk in thier shoes. She fell in love with my x. She could have been alot more tactful about alot of the stuff she did, like telling my son to call her mommy, etc. But I can't knock her or him for them falling in love. Our marriage was a empty shell anyways, and we both knew it.