DH's ex definitely has bpd. This forum should be called "steptalk, where stepparents come to vent... about bio's with personality disorders." Because I have found there are two camps... The ones with, and the ones without these bio parent with pd's. The way I know is that DH has two ex's. It's like a twin study. Bm#1 does not, and bm#2 does have a pd, undiagnosed, but self proclaimed bpd. Sd from bm#2 has suffered from behavioral issues. DH's first two kids from bm#1 are far more well adjusted. BM#1 has been no conflict, yet bm#2 has been nothing less than a living hell to deal with. It's kind of sad that sd has BM#2 for a mom, but it's her destiny, and there is really nothing we can do about it , but to just lay low and stay out of target range. Sd has been in therapy and as been diagnosed with early onset bpd. We have not seen her for three years due to loyalty conflict. I disengaged because sd was very abusive to me. But sd and DH are pretty close via phone. Somehow he has maintained a relationship., but he's not really a parent to her. She just turned 18 in February and is emancipated. Sd just admitted her mom screwed her up pretty bad and now she's living with her sister, DH's first born. We are all just waiting to see if sd has bpd or just fleas from her mom, Now that she's broken free from the grip of bm#2 and able to act on her own. Bpd sucks. It destroys families and is impossible to deal with. I mean impossible for the step parents because we are once removed. Just try to stay out of target range. That's my advice.

BPD in my opinion and bipolar/suicidal/kleptomaniac by a professional diagnosis. Also a convicted felon for fraud over $50,000. Yay, so much fun when those "qualities" start showing in SD12.

BM in my life hails from a long line of women with PDs and her daughters will carry on the torch.
DH always says he should have taken one look at her mother and run away.
Fear of abandonment, impulsive, irrational behaviors run in the family.
Alongside with them we have hatred of men, serious entitlement, GU, and emotional abuse of partners
and children. I do not think this cycle will stop with the next generation.

They are even worse because they were raised to be extensions of BMs
ego. Where her mother was neglectful of her focusing on her sister, the golden
child, while bm was the scapegoat, BM as a mother has three golden eggs
while dh is the scapegoat. She is a victim of a cruel man... the works.

I have never had such close and personal encounter with PDs but now
i have front row seats and it has been eye opening.

Though the actual diagnosis was bipolar, anxiety and depression, Cluster B fits her better in my opinion, and she vacillates between BPD, NPD, Histrionic and Anti-social.

Stalking, smear campaigns, parental alienation, rages, falling in love with unavailable men, fear of abandonment, control issues, wanting to win at all costs, using fear, obligation and guilt to punish, black and white thinking, distorting words...and using "intense" speech, entitlement, emotional instability, recklessness, petty crimes, BOLD LIES, playing the victim and crying when caught, need to be center of attention, leaving everyone in her life WORSE than when she found them, drug and alcohol use, shallow friendships with other criminal-minded folks, daddy issues, etc.

It's the scariest thing I've ever encountered.

BM in my life is totally bi-polar!! And possibly manic depressive! See my update blog to my weekend...ridiculous!!

Neither of DH's kids is "normal". Each has a mother who has issues.

BM1 cannot get along with people. She has anger management problems, thinks the person who screams the most is always right, and was a HR nightmare. Her employer finally fired her after years of conflicts with co-workers. Each department she worked in had "mean people who were out to get her". BPD??

SD1 can't get along with people, rages, yells, exhibits win at all cost behavior, and has lost every job she's ever had. SD1 left public school in middle school because she could not get along with the other kids and was always getting into fights. She couldn't wait to get married (at 18) and have kids, and sees herself as MOTY. She is very entitled, controlling, verbally abuses her current spouse, & is a big PASinator. SD claims to have fibromyalgia,and other assorted illnesses that allow her to avoid wider society.
BPD and NPD??

BM2 is crazier than a bag of cats. Her mother was institutionalized for mental illness, and now she is, too. She currently has a diagnosis of bi polar, but BPD was always her stock in trade. In her youth she presented as the perfect man-trap: Attractive, sweet, ultra feminine & helpless. She was actually a welfare queen/barfly who trolled for men who would support her and her two daughters. In DH's custody battle, BM2 claimed that he was not the father, that he had raped and beaten her. BPD, NPD, ABCDEFGHIJK

SD2 Was sexually active at 13. Learned how to manipulate and controlled her mother. Lies constantly. Needs to be adored & believes every guy wants her. Went through four therapists as a teen, fooling three of them. Faked a suicide attempt in order to avoid accountability for lies that blew up in her face. Struggles with interpersonal relationships and can't keep a job, a friend, or a man. Has claimed to have breast cancer & lupus, and spun elaborate back stories including who her doctors were. Uses people, expertly and frequently. BPD? Bi polar?

God, I need a shower after typing this. Reading over this post makes me wonder if I'm not crazy for dealing with these people.