quiet but alone
yesterday the boys had a doctors appiontment for their meds, i choose not to go this time. i always feel like we are being judged or defending our selves, expecially me. because i wont kiss adem's 8 butt. they tell me how i should be tolerant and sweet to this boy because he has issues with women because of his psyco mother, and he has difficulty showing love. i am never mean to him, but i cant bring my self to accepting that the boy cant be nice or even not mean will do!! i can see that he is not ready to be all lovey dovey with me, because his mom hurt him so bad. i get that, but does he have to be so cruel and hateful? hes only 8 and is already doing things that could land him in prison as an adult!! so any way, to day was quiet, i stayed in my room untill he went to bed and then came out to eat, my "loving husband" (sarcastic) saved me a plate "how thought full" (sarcastic). he said that adem was much more relaxed and happy to day, haha. i went to my room right before he got off the bus and didnt come out untill he went to bed!! this cant be normal or ok!!! i am an adult!! he is a kid! but if i enter a room that e is in i first get stared down then he starts doing things like yelling lalala if i try to talk to even my husband, or stands infront of the tv if i try to watch it. if i stand up to him he hits me, i cant hit him back because he is a pathological lier and will tell his therapist i beat him up for no reason!! but today he is happy and quiet because he gets what he wants he has effectively managed to isolate and seclude me in my room indefenitly. can you believe i answer to an 8 year old, if only my grandmother were still alive. she must be roling in her grave!!! i never would have had the guts to talk back to her let alone act so cruelly, hatefully and violently to her or around her, she would have killed me i think. you just dont do that kind of stuff. i hate this way i live, and i am some what passive, and dont really have the guts to leave. i am some what religious and not sure that my family would support a divorce. my mom says to pray and meditate, ha, like that works. may be i am just being cynical. i am venting, but thanks for being there everyone. i feel like i have no one to turn to no one to talk to, you all are my only friends. i just feel so alone. mu husband does try, to visit me, in here. but it took him 2 years to find his boys after she kidnapped them and they came back to him so hurt and abused that he just wont stand up to adem. well i hope every one else is ok, i dont mean to be so self centered.
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Comments
OMG, whats it going to be
OMG, whats it going to be like when he's 14 and outweighs you?
I hope you find a GOOD shrink for him to help you in case you need to place him somewhere for mental health therapy.
It sounds frightning and he's only 8 ?
Isn't 8 when they are soooo good and cute?
So wrong. I don't blame you
So wrong. I don't blame you for being frustrated. I am not clear though, on the 8 year old's schedule, or who is supposed to be supervising him - is he always with his DH? I am thinking there are times when it is just the two of you, and that is what needs to be eliminated, if he has to go to day care or whatever.
Also I just got my first dog, I was always afraid of dogs, but maybe this is where you need to establish that YOU are the alpha dog in the pack. When my dog growls I am afraid BUT that is my cue to remind her that I am the one in charge, not the child or puppy.
What does the dad do when the child misbehaves like block the tv, that would burn my *ss!!! Maybe he is saying he is tired and needs to go to bed at that point, even if it is daylight outside.
It will be tough but just prepare yourself, that you are not taking this crap any more. Go apeshit if you have to!
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)Continued from my comment
Continued from my comment above _ does anyone else have trouble editing sometimes? Its like my computer gets stuck but, the critical thing to me is to put the dad on the discipline for this child. You make your own stand, but he is the parent and must address the discipline too, and support you.
What does the dad do when he acts up like this? Tell DH he has to do something about his child, or you are out of there. Warn DH and hopefully he will act on it. How does SS behave in school? I know he has problems, but still, SS needs to be told, by his dad, 'if you cannot control yourself, you will be in big trouble son'!!!
Don't explain what will happen if he disobeys. My DH used to fall into that. He would say to SD, don't do xyz, or abc will happen. Then she would decide oh well, that's not too bad, and do it anyway! Make him wonder what will happen, and make him wait to find out. He may decide it is not worth it.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)Honey, you don't have to get
Honey, you don't have to get a divorce or beat the boy to stand up for yourself. If he is so severely damaged, maybe he needs in patient help. ...actually the best advice I can give you, you already said. What would your Grandmother do? Start with demanding respect from your husband and then go from there.
Good luck!
"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton