I'm checking in as my year is winding down.

Last week was my big biking trip on the Great Alleghany Passage. I went with 2 friends and returned with a bunch more! Our ride was supported. We were shuttled to one end and dropped off while the tour company carried our camping gear to the first destination. The tour company also provided breakfast, snacks for the ride and dinner every day. The tour had about 16 participants.

I got to the area where we would be picked up last Wednesday afternoon. While waiting for my 2 friends to show up, and waiting for the campground to let me check in, I was able to fit in a short bike ride.

In total, I cycled 165 miles last week, over 4.5 days. The 2nd day of our trip was 54 miles and it was a grind, but overall, I tolerated being on a bike for 4.5 days in a row very well.

On the last day, we rode my favorite section of the GAP - the part I used to ride regularly when I lived in the area. I got a little choked up on the section I find the prettiest, but when I rode past XBF's house, I could barely see it since the trees had grown up so much....and I didn't really feel anything.

But, the good news is that a group of local women I used to ride with were also riding the same ride on nearly the same schedule and they were so sweet when they saw me. I had dinner with another of my friends from that area the night before my trip, AND on my way to the finish point, I passed a group of other cycling friends riding up the trail. It was wonderful being back in that area and feeling like a minor celebrity.

The farther I get from the relationship (almost 9 months now), the more I realize that, while I'm a flawed person, I make friends easily. I'm a pretty good communicator. I invest in people. I contribute. I volunteer. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. I sometimes change my mind on things, yes. But, in general, I consistently honor my commitments to others. I show up. I care.

I know it takes two to make a relationship work, but I rest on the knowledge that I did my best. I tried. In short: I was not THE problem.

I'm also VERY comfortable not dating. Being single is growing on me. Meanwhile, I'm in great shape after cycling and hiking like a maniac this year. My weight is down. I look better. Men are interested...........but I'm not really interested. Isn't that ironic? As my attractiveness has increased, my interest in dating has decreased.

I like having my whole bed to myself. I like not having to consider anyone else when I make decisions. And, I'm now ready for my daughter to move out. I am hoping that will happen early next year.

I love her, but she's a LOT like I was when I was around her age. She's actually a LOT b*tchier than I believe I was, AND she's got a princess mentality. She's so entitled. She gripes about living with me (so move), but she doesn't want to pay rent to live alone. She gripes about her 1 hour commute (1 way) to her 9 hour a day job that pays her nearly 6 figures and gives her every other Friday off. And she's doing the ill advised thing I've done with men, and she's trying to change her 28 year old boyfriend of nearly a year in hopes they will marry and start a family. Some changes are reasonable, some are not. But what's really unreasonable is the amount of pressure she's applying and her approach is "you need to change" instead of "these are my standards." She's not allowing him to decide to step up on his own. I fear this will backfire on her in the long run (I have so much experience in this area) as he will likely resent her for pushing him to make the changes. Oh well. I guess she'll have to learn for herself.

Anyway, I have 3 more weekends of events: 1 backpacking trip and two bike events. After that, I'm going to chill the eff out for the winter, and may take on a part time job to advance some financial goals I have, and to prepare for my daughter moving out early next year as I'll be losing the rent she's paying.

I'm good. I'm in a great place. I'm enjoying life and am well into the acceptance phase of grief. I have so many of you to thank for supporting me on this journey.

Thank you!!