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for those who have joint/shared custody I have questions

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 12:22pm

SO is wanting joint custody I've found several really good everything spelled out parenting plans that will benefit SO and the kids and help keep BM in check. Here's the question what are things you've found the hardest about joint/shared and what do you wish had been addressed in a parenting plan or in court. Kinda what would of been done diffrent with hindsite?

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audi_coupe.tt's picture

Submitted by audi_coupe.tt on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 12:33pm

I wish mine told my ex husband the summer dates spelled out in black and white not just that he gets our daughter 2 seperate 2 week periods durning her summer break. So now every year his days are different and I have to arrange our whole summer around him. I also wish he had a set phone time period not he can call whenever and whatever time he finds acceptable. I also wish his Christmas visitation didn't start at 2pm on Christmas day. Traveling on Christmas Day really sucks for all of us and ruins a special day.

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 1:50pm

Thank you so much for all the advice the vague wording was one we were already worried about because I seem to see that a lot causing issues on here. And dates for extended summer time hadn't thought about that. We know we can't control much of what she does with her time benefit is most we worry about is her and her famlies and bf's previous criminal records lawyer said we can try and get her to agree to clauses that her parenting time would be removed if she or anyone they live with is from now forward arrested for any felony or any violent crime. SO's lawer told him even once they have a legal filed in court parenting plan some things would allow for imediate removal of her time others would require court so to financially plan to take it to court or decide if it won't be worth the fight remove it from the plan. A lot of what we look at will help SO gain more with his kids and help keep BM from with holding things or the kids. She's not too bright so anything or anyone tells her she'll go to jail (even if it would take a whole bunch of fines and probation before jail time) she'd tow the line.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 5:21pm

Dates, exchange times, exchange places, transportation, holidays - when begin & end (first day of break, etc.)

if u r NCP - clarify dad's legal rights to records, documentation, school reports, medical decisions, listed with school as secondary contact etc. if you have primary custody i would just say joint legal Wink

read it through looking for an argument - see what you find that's vague. vague disclaimers are no one's friend.

Excellent reference point:: http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/