One of them is. And surprise, surprise, it's the one that has all the issues.

She's an artist and takes her sketch pad everywhere with her. We went to a friend's house one night and the other SD wanted to play tick-tac-toe with our friend's kid. SD refused to give her one piece of paper even after FDH told her he'd buy her more on the way home. She had plenty. I was pissed at FDH for not making her give one up.

And recently when we moved into this house, I asked the SDs if either one of them wanted this vanity we had in the garage. I originally found it with MSD and she wanted it for her room so we got it (it was on someone's curb). MSD said she didn't want it anymore for the new house. I asked YSD if she wanted it. She said no so I said "OK, we will sell it at our garage sale". YSD says "And then spend the money on me!" Um what?? It wasn't ever yours. I was just being nice by asking.

Keeping multiple kinds of things and not using them...being tidy...it sounds like compulsive behavior, and more like hoarding than being greedy, although I would think those go hand-in-hand. Perhaps talking to a school counsellor or pediatrician would be a good start to see how to go about therapy, if needed/wanted.

My SD's are both kinda greedy, not extremely so, but they always used the stuff they acquired, and neither is even remotely tidy. My own dd is not greedy really at all, even when she was little. My son has always thought more is better though lol, mostly when it comes to food!

Some people hoard. I have no idea why. My sister was and is like this. She freaks if someone touches her stuff but it's okay to touch other people's stuff.

She was like this with food too, from a very young age. She would pick food off other other people's plates without asking, but the moment someone tried to ask her for some of her's, she'd say no. If you tried, she'd start crying.

My parents tried to correct it but all that happened was she'd cry and throw a tantrum and although they'd talk to her about it and it seemed like she'd understand, the same thing would happen next time.

She's only a year younger than me. I never had this problem.

I think it's possible it stems from insecurity (since I know my sister is a very insecure person), and if by nature, the person is insecure (through no fault of anyone else's, they're just born this way--because she was like this before she could talk even though she was always the babied younger one) then they will have these knee jerk reactions that seem greedy they can't really control (unless through some heavy behavioral modification). Not that that's an excuse.

But seriously, I'd let it go. I learned a long time ago that I couldn't change my sister, I could only set firm boundaries that what was good for the goose was good for the gander, and if she wanted to hoard her things and not share, then she could not expect anyone else to share with her. This seemed to have worked for us.

I agree that this is not normal and sounds like some sort of obsessive/compulsive behaviour. She is showing all the signs of a hoarder, though at least she is keeping her stuff neat and tidy and you're showing her respect by enforcing a rule of no touching her stuff. I hope she is not one of those kids that won't let anyone touch her stuff but is happy to help herself to other peoples things. My ss16 is a bit like that - hates ss9 and ss11 daring to go near his precious stuff but is quite happy to take/steal/break their stuff and then plead ignorance - totally selfish and a pain in the butt!

We don't have hoarders at our house, but we do have greedy kids who are obsessed with food and seem to eat constantly, ask a hundred times a day when it's lunchtime/dinnertime, what's for lunch/dinner and have an unhealthy obsession with junk food over and above what you'd expect with "normal" kids. In their case, I'm sure it's because when they were toddlers, bm took the kids and left dh, travelling around spending time in various hostels, claiming poverty and saying she had no money to feed them. We don't know how well fed they were, and we suspect that she was probably rationing their food and telling them that it was their dad's fault because he didn't give her any money (he did, but he's convinced she spent in on cigarettes and alcohol for herself). He eventually got custody because she's unstable and useless mother, but the damage was already done and I think those early experiences left them with a deep-rooted fear of not having enough food and a need for reassurance that they are going to get regular meals.

I think that trauma in early childhood can often lead to long-lasting psychological problems and all kinds of strange behaviour, and she may have been affected by something that happened during her toddler years. It's worth talking to someone to get to the bottom of it as it might get worse as she gets older and affect her life as a teen/adult.

My ss15 has always had a problem with stealing random things he doesn't need. This started at a young age-around 5 or so and continues to this day. In elementary school he'd wait til the other kids went out to recess and he's sneak back into the room and steal pencils, change, junk jewelry-just whatever he could find it didn't seem to matter. He would steal various items from my children-my dd's lip gloss, for instance. Another time one of her very pretty , feminine necklaces. Another time I found a pair of his very feminine jeans in his bags-these are things he was not using himself so I could never quite fathom why he would take them. And of course don't get me started on him stealing my underwear, my dd's underwear, and my ds's underwear. It's hard to even figure the shit out-it's be easy to say he's some sort of sexual perv that likes stealing womens underwear, but, yeah he also repeatedly stole my son's despite having plenty of his own. Or he'd find a random deck of cards in our drawer and take it and put it in his bag to go back to his bm's.

He was very selfish with food as well. He would actually hoard food in his room at times and eat tremendous amounts of it until he vomited. I suspect that this is also a behavior that has continued into present day, but he did grow sneakier about hiding the fact that he was vomiting. If there were 12 packages of peanut butter crackers-he'd eat 8 of them in a row-in one sitting. Why? Who knows? This could be right after finishing a complete meal-it did not seem to be motivated by hunger in anyway. It seemed more about making sure that none of the other kids in the household got any of the treats.

I swear that you were writing this about my SD! In her family dynamics, she is an only child. No other siblings or immediate cousins to play with or to learn to share with. When we blended our family, it was a huge issue in our home bc SD refused to share her things, and would have SO hide her "precious" items in one of his dresser drawers. I put a stop to that. If it's her crap, it stays in her room.

As for the hoarding, she is the same exact way. I get so frustrated bc my bios share most everything with SD, yet SD has a fit if she has to share. I've tried over and over to get her over this fear of sharing. My BFF mentioned that her behavior could be related to the fact that she is shuffled from home to home, and has a fear of "losing" her items, so she "hides" them from everyone. I'm not sure if I buy that as her excuse. Just the other evening, my oldest bio wanted to play in SD's room, as my youngest bio was napping in their shared room. SD said "no", but I forced them to go into SD's room. Within moments of being forced, SD kicked my ODD out of her room for being rude. I'm about ready to make that little snot share a room with one of my bios, as it's not fair that she is the only one with her own room.

We also go through this at Christmas time as well. She makes a list for Santa, gets a few of those items, and they are never to be seen again. It's the most annoying thing to have a kid super excited to make the list, and then when she gets the item she wanted, she's disappointed. This year, I'm not buying her anything. I'm just not. She wants wants wants, yet is so ungrateful and unappreciative when she receives.

SS8 doesn't hoard STUFF< but he does hoard trash. Crumpled up pieces of paper, food and candy wrappers, dried up pens and markers. He also hoards stuff like leaves, twigs, acorns, clumps of dirt, crap like that. I get the psychology behind hoarding STUFF, but not TRASH. Maybe he's trying to re-create BM's home environment at our house?