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Step parent to 5...husband driving me nuts!!!

Light9's picture

Submitted by Light9 on Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:55am

I am step mum to 5 with one of my own on the way. I love my step kids dearly but I simply cannot fathom how my DH and their BM can allow them to be so "free and easy". They do no chores, there is no expectation for them to work or find jobs, they wag school constantly, one has been in several fights....and the parents are like "oh the other kid was the trouble maker" or "don't pressure them to find work they are still at school"....aaaaargh! I try to disengage but with one on the way I am concerned that we will disagree on everything. My DH shouts at me while I am pregnant if I so much as mention that he should tell his son punching kids is not acceptable...I have no family because I met him and his family in another state and lately I have been feeling so homesick (for my dear family and for some sanity) it makes me feel like running away...

Comments

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:34am

If you know your DH is a terrible father, why did you get pregnant by him?

Don't say anything to him about his kids. One punched someone? It doesn't affect you, so don't say anything. Simple. No fighting with DH over it.

snowdrop's picture

Submitted by snowdrop on Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:16pm

Hey girl! Sorry to hear that things are stressful right now. Maybe u can go visit family for a few days? How r u feeling w the pregnancy? Sending support Smile

Light9's picture

Submitted by Light9 on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 2:12am

Thanks guys sorry for such a slow reply...I miscarried over the weekend at 9 weeks pregnant. It has been a roller coaster of emotions (and such crippling physical pain I couldn't believe it). I am now feeling relieved to be honest (as bad as that sounds). I feel like I really do love my husband and my step kids and now the stress of having another and having to co parent has gone. Yes my husband and his ex wife seem VERY relaxed on issues that will always bother me....however, his kids are truly amazing, intelligent, kind and funny kids. My man has always worked hard but when he met me he relaxed for sure and I carried the load. It is literally the first time in his life that a woman has supported him. In fact he never had much support from his father either (his mother is great). So....now I am wondering if I can have a fulfilling life appreciating my lovely husband and step kids and being free to travel whuilst enjoying the fruits of his labour with so many kids...I hope you are all great and thanks again for all your support and thoughts...:)