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BM is F@cking idiot!!

lisa510's picture

This is my first post about my DH's ex. For the most part, I don't think about her at all. But she's a real tool!!

BACKGROUND: I moved in with DH. Only SS22lived with him at the time. We married and within the next month, his daughter moved in too.

SD16 was living with BM until BM's live-in BF invited SD16 to participate in oral sex (he sent her a text). He's a cop.

Now I live with both skids! Whatever.

DH still pays BM child support; this has been since June.

BM STILL LIVES WITH THE SAME MAN WHO INVITED HER DAUGHTER TO SUCK ON HIS PART!! NOT ONLY DID THE BM'S BF NOT DESIRE MOM ANYMORE, BUT HE WANTS THE DAUGHTER!!! unreal.........she still lives with him.

So, when SD16 first came to live with us, DH told SD16 that she wasn't allowed to be around her violator, even though he is BM's live-in BF.

Well, that didn't last very long. I can say with certainty, that most of the times SD16 goes to see BM, the violator is there.

So, today, OAG calls DH and tells him that they can't make BM pay him CS, but they can stop taking his money. They also tell him, BM is NOT WILLING TO GIVE UP CUSTODY!!

So, we can continue to pay for this girl's welfare, but he is not her custodial parent!!! Mom is!

I told him to call CPS and tell them that her mother is endangering his daughter by allowing her violator to be present when the daughter visits her.

I'm sooooo sick of this shit!!!! No one gives a fuck!!! No one. SS22 and his girlfriend go to see BM while the violator is there. SD16 goes to visit BM while the violator is there. I am at the point where I don't give a fuck if she's around the violator because not EVEN HER OWN MOTHER CARES!!

Then, DH wants US to pay for a lawyer to get a court order for her custody! I AIN'T PAYING SHIT OUT OF MY MONEY. I've already been supporting this girl for four months, I ain't paying anything more!!!

Sick of IT!!!

Comments

Rags's picture

"BM is NOT WILLING TO GIVE UP CUSTODY!!"

Who gives a shit if BM does not want to give up custody? :?

She is pimping her 16yo daughter to her crooked cop boyfriend. BM and the BF cop should both be in jail.

Good luck.

lisa510's picture

My DH is so stupid sometimes. I love him to death, but sometimes I wish I could just say:

Send your 22 year old leech son on his way.
Call CPS on your ex-wife.
Tell your daughter she CANNOT go see her mother because she lives with her (daughter) violator.

The end!! Show them you have balls and won't be walked all over anymore.

If I say it, it's like I'm just evil and want his kids to hate him.

He's afraid of "losing" both his kids. I'd love to tell the SS22 to get lost!! What a waste!? I'm so pissed!!

iwishyouwould's picture

Youve legally got at least 2 more years of this. Take it to court. Who gives two flips if she wont give up custody? The judge will make her. Retain counsel. Youre in for a very long at least 2 years anyway.

LaMareOssa's picture

:jawdrop: I totally agree with BLM. At this point, you should call CPS..even if your DH doesn't agree. If this is real, I honestly think that girl is in danger. Of course BM is not WILLING to give up custody..She'll lose her meal ticket. Get a copy of this text, go down to the court house and file for an Emergency ExParte Order. This order will most likely be granted if you have proof, the jjudge will sign the court order instantly and the order(change of custody over to your DH) will be put into effect immediately. File charges against the boyfriend. Go to court and fight for custody and ask for BM to pay ALL your court/lawyer fees.

Good luck!!!

lisa510's picture

Okay, so DH did press charges. The judicial wheels are turning on the criminal part of this sad story. The stupid cop will have his day in court, but probably not until next summer.

I know I can all CPS. I did call CPS and got some information about what constitutes a dangerous situation for the child. I relayed the information to DH and he basically dropped it. Yesterday, he accused me of dropping the ball and I had to remind him that I'm the one calling the Victim Rep at the court house, finding information on CS/custody, leaving messages for the ADA, calling CPS and getting information. NOW, he wants me to call again and actually put in the complaint. The lawyer he's thinking of hiring told him, once SD is 17, she has the discretion to be around her violator IF SHE FEELS SAFE - in TX, a judge will allow her that decision.

I know that I can do A LOT. I know what can be done, but I'm tired of the bullshit. SD16 goes to the dude's house without any hesitation; SS22 goes to the dude's house without hesitation; DH is afraid if he calls CPS, kids will hate him! It's so easy for him to make me the bad guy by doing everything.

BTW: SD16 says she's not afraid of him; it was a mistake; she trusts him.

So now I'm tapped out. I don't want to get DH used to me doing all his shit for him. He needs to do the leg work. She's his daughter; not mine. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but the bottom line is I do more for his kids than I do for my own. If he wants the situation changed, he's gonna have to make the phone calls and save his money to pay for lawyers. I'll support his decisions and HELP him; I'm not doing it though.

I just told him to call the Victim Liaison and request the ADA contact the defense attorney. I told him he can get the ADA to tell the defense attorney to have his client keep away from the victim. DH says, "Okay, I'm calling her right now." I called him back to see if got in touch with the VL. "Oh, I forgot."

NO sense of urgency!!!

lisa510's picture

Office of the Attorney General cannot make her pay child support; just stop his payments from going to BM.

Yes, the court order can be changed. I know the paperwork, I've touched it.

The problem is that DH firmly believes BM WILL CONTEST!! If she contests, it's not as easy as it could be. We can do the paperwork without an attorney, but once she contests, it's a whole new ballgame.

She has the right to contest. I'm a paralegal; I know the administrative part of the court system and the legal procedure, but there are certain things you need a lawyer to do on your behalf - like fight a custody battle.

He can take her to court; just not with my money. I'm tired of giving and giving and giving. I pay for everything for these skids and not one utter of gratitude comes from ANYONE. Not even DH. All he knows is that he wants his CS and I need to get it form him along with custody of the daughter. hmph!!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Men are so stupid and lazy sometimes. Not all of them, but most. Sorry Rags, I don't mean you.

My husband has let stuff ride with all the BMs til I just want to choke him. Seems if I want anything done right I have to do it myself.

Dammit!