Contacting half sister you didn't know you had
Some time ago I posted about my boys finding out they had a half-sister and I was wondering if I should contact the girl to see if she wanted to meet the boys. Quite a few posters jumped me royally and told me to stay out of it etc. But this is how it all played out...
Half sister is 23, my boys are 15 and 13. HS was conceived when my stupid ex-husband was 16 and half-sister's mother was also 16.
Ex-husband and I started dating when he was 19, so I've never seen HS. He supported HS financially throughout our marriage, but he and the BM decided that HS had a special bond with her stepdad and my exDh would be confusing to her...whatever. I never got involved in any of that. For one, I was 20 when I found out about HS. They already had an arrangement and I didn't question it. And my EXdh would never allow me to talk about it. So I've known my boys had a HS but didn't feel it was appropriate to tell them while they were still so young and I felt exdh should tell them, it was his story to tell.
Their dad told them about her last summer and they both had a lot of questions for me because he wouldn't talk about it with them.
It took some time but I found her on Facebook and told the boys if they wanted to contact her I found her. I figured they could IM her on FB and at least test the waters. They both got messages back instantly and friend requests and chatted with HS for hours on FB. They have since exchanged phone numbers and chat about their similar qualities and genetic stuff. Like both DS13 and HS23 are extremely allergic to poison ivy. I think it's cool. I'm happy for them that it all worked out.
I wish someone would tell me I had a long lost sister out there..
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Comments
I think you should be
I think you should be involved if they do meet, since yours boys are under 18. Does she live nearby? Does your husband have a lot of contact with her? I think it would fine for your boys to meet her, if you and your ex husband are both okay with it.
A few years ago, my husband found out that he has three older half-brothers. His dad had completely abandoned them when he met my husband's mom. I found two of them on Facebook and my husband has had a little contact with them since then, but they still haven't met. They live 6 hours away. I think it's kind of cool that my husband has these brothers and that my daughter has some cousins.
No she lives 2 states away.
No she lives 2 states away. I would totally support them if they wanted to meet face to face. Which I think may happen. All 3 of them are excited to have found each other.
Quite honestly, I don't care of my exh is ok with it. They are siblings and if they want to meet they should.
No, it wasn't you and it was
No, it wasn't you and it was about the initial contact. People telling me I was out of line b/c my ex-husband should control the contact and I should stay out of it...He's never laid eyes on his daughter for 23 years why would he start now? It only kept our kids from meeting...
My sister that I was raised
My sister that I was raised with is a loose cannon. We haven't spoke for 2 years. I think it would be nice to have an actual sister. Maybe that's why this was so important to me.