i'm so aggravated, upset, concerned, etc. with/for dh
as i lean more and more to divorce each day that i am away from him, dh is telling me how he is going to be strong, that he is going to prove it to me, that he can be what i need. so today, after i catch him at the house snooping in my journal (which i just hid last night!!!), i tell him how the other day when he kissed me, i felt nothing. how it was a shock to me too, that i don't think my heart will change, that i think it's over. how i want us to be civil, i still want to count on him, and him on me, but that shit happens and we should both move on. conversation went pretty well, considering he doesn't want any of that. so...i just got a text saying that he is leaving town on thursday. and that the band guys will come get all the music stuff. WTF?! he is going to quit his post office job? quit school? quit the band? and GIVE all his music equipment to the guys?!!! i am so disappointed, angry, aggravated!!! have i taught him nothing? why does he always run away from everything? i told him i would not file for divorce until i knew for certain, that all i wanted right now was time to clear my head!!! and he is running away. well, then, run! go be with your family in some rundown town where there is NOTHING, quit everything, life is over, screw yourself! i just don't get it. i was hurt, devastated when i found out how he screwed my friend and screwed this marriage, but did i run? NO! i stuck it out, i put in the hard work, i didn't give up! i don't need someone who is so quick to duck and cover.
- lmdavi0's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
He's just laying on the guilt trip...
Let him be a quitter. If he wants to run away (which I doubt he will) then let him. Honey, it's just not your fault. You need to do what's best for you. It's time for YOU to make YOU feel better not what's best for everyone else.
I am so unforgiving of the fact that you have been through thick and thin with him and HIS trials with his daughter and ex and the thanks you get is him screwing your "friend". Let him go pout about it. It's HIS fault your relationship is in ruins....
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
pisces flaw
it's never about us, it's always about them...i'm working at it!
always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
I should know...
I'm a pisces....
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
go figure
saving the world one man at a time!!!
:sick:
always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
He dug his own grave, sadly.
Here's what I think. I think you are a kind person with a good heart who was willing to put up with a lot and willing to try to forgive a lot all for this thing called LOVE. But that was YOUR love for HIM that allowed you to do all of this. That was YOUR faith, YOUR generosity, YOUR forgiveness.
What has HIS "love" for YOU gotten you? Cheated on? Spied on? And now he's basically abandoning your marriage before you've even made a formal decision as to how to proceed? He's bailing on everything that's supposed to be important to him why? To make YOU feel guilty that it didn't work out?! Because he can't be a big boy and unfuck this mess on his own?!
I think his behavior all along has been pretty immature, from the drunken encounter with the friend to jumping and running now. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt at first, because hey, we all make mistakes. But this tells me he's not mature enough to own his mistakes and learn from them. He sounds like he might have a little case of Peter Pan Syndrome. I think you're better off without him and, if I were within kicking distance, I'd boot his ass into next week myself.
Whatever happens in this life for you needs to be YOUR decision. Don't let anyone sway you from making the choices you know you need to make for YOU. Whatever agenda he's working, that's his deal. Don't let that play on your emotions or guide you down a path you don't really want to take. You work your own agenda... work on getting stronger, letting go of the things you cannot change and embracing the really GOOD stuff life has to offer. If he runs, he runs. You just cannot assume responsibility for what happens with the rest of HIS life. You focus on living YOUR OWN life to the fullest.
You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You have so much to offer! If he's not willing to fight to keep you, then he's not worth all you have to give.
HANG IN THERE!
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook
thank you, anne
it is just hard to not worry. it's a character flaw, unfortunately. but you are absolutely right and i know all of this deep down. it just sucks that he is doing this to me. that he is not being the man i thought he could be. that is what is so disappointing. but you're right. i have put up with enough f'ing shit!!! uuuuuugggggghhhhhhh! i am thoroughly pissed off today. the perfect remedy for any situation. lol.
i love you girls!
god bless.
always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
Does it really matter?
If someone else is not the person we think they are if we are the person we should be (and want to be)?
Just one of those little mind teaser questions....
kevin
You are moving in right direction....forward
when the going gets rough, he gets going.You deserve more and he will have to live with his choices much longer then you will.I am just sorry for your disappointment.
everybody's so succinct
always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.