How do we make BM and SS2 comfortable with this transition
My DH's CO awarded him one 24hr overnight EVERY weekend and then Tues & Thurs evenings for 3 hours during the week until SS is 3 and then they go to EOW typical stuff. BM currently lives with her mom and works nights on Sunday, Tues, Thurs so when DH takes SS2 back, he doesn't drop off to BM but to her mom. Seems the BM's mom has become increasingly overbearing and BM is moving out. BM wants SS2 to stay overnight with us when she works on Sun, Tues, Thurs and then alternating Sat overnights....we are soooo excited. DH has always told her that he never wants to take SS2 away from her, he just always felt that if SS is not with BM then he should be with daddy - no BM's mom. BM says her mom is in a panic and asking when she will see SS2...BM said maybe they could keep him out of daycare on WED when her mom is off but she would talk to DH about it since they both pay for FT daycare - I'm so loving this because I suspect BM's mom has often been the catalyst behind a lot of issues and difficulties. ANYWAY - how do we make this official and how do we make sure SS2 is okay - being with us more won't be a big deal I think but he will also be in a new apartment with BM so want to make is as comfortable as possible for the little guy. Advise please!
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SS was 1 1/2 when BM and DH
SS was 1 1/2 when BM and DH split. When he started staying over night (when DH moved in with me) we made sure he had his favorite toy, and we made sure that it was ALWAYS DROP OFFS. Kids tend to not want to be picked up and taken away from their custodial home, but if BM drops him off there if gives him the comfort (even if he is too young to understand) that his mom is ok with him being there. Also, if BM is easy to talk to maybe discuss with her preparing SS for the switch... i.e. "you get to go to daddy's tonight" until it is something that is normal to him. The more comfortable SHE is with it, and shows that to him, the better he will handle it.
Good Luck, and I am sure the little guy will be just fine
My SS will be 3 in november,
My SS will be 3 in november, and has had nearly week long overnights since he was 11 months old. He'll be fine.