From what I have been reading... I think I have found the help I have been looking for. For 6yrs, I have been having to deal with my hubby's daughter (30yrs old) and son (28 yrs old).
I'm not sure how to go about writing about all this..but here it goes.
My husband was married for 27yrs, and lost his wife in 2002 to cancer. From what he has told me, and other family members have told me...it was a rocky marriage. His wife let the children do what ever they wanted, bought them anything they wanted, let them run wild. As they got older, she was unable to get them to mind her...so she would tell their dad to discipline them. And when he did, she would scream at him to not ground HER children, to not scold HER children, and she was very verbally abusive to him (in front of the kids)....so he gave up trying to discipline the kids. After she passed in 02', he put all his time into his now grown children, to try and ease the pain of them losing their mother...and they used him to the fullest!
Well, we met in 2006', fell madly in love (and still are after 6yrs...Hes my best friend!) and married 4 months later. His kids were on their own when we met, and said we were acting like teenagers when we were dating (holding hands etc). They ACTED like I was OK in their book when I spent $600 on them that first Christmas..even told their daddy he done GOOD by marrying me. Things were up and down with both his kids through this time..when we spent money on them..everything was OK. When we didn't, they said I was spending their daddy's money (I was also working). The 2nd Christmas, I didn't spend as much (I had a heart attach and was out of work)..his kids had even less to do with their daddy. By the 3rd year, they had stopped coming to the house because they didn't like seeing another woman in their MAMAS house! Now, 6yrs later..its gone completely down hill...the more I try to have us be a part of their lives, the more they let me know I am NOT welcome. It all comes down to money, and my husband and I both agree that we WILL NOT buy their love!
All of this is hurting their daddy....they dont want him to be happy, and they have told people in the community that they will do what ever they can to get me out of their mamas house (always the mama..not their daddy's house)..even to the point of saying they will burn it down some day..if im in it or not! I'm to the point of leaving my best friend because I dont want to come between my husband and his grown kids! I cant handle the stress anymore! My grown son (24yrs old) Loves my husband so much, and is so happy for us! When he calls us, he always asks to talk with my husband also! He respects my husband because my hubby is good to me and loves me..he doesn't beat me like my sons father did! And he loves us BOTH without us having to spend a dime on him..he loves us because we are BOTH parents to him! WHY such a difference in three grown children!!!
I'm hurt (being called a EVIL stepmother to my face now)...I cant do anything more...
Any response or suggestion would help me tremendously right now....Thanks much
Hubby just got home...time to go to town. thank you for all the input, i'll check back later this evening. Im really needing help on this..im reading to throw in the towel
((((HUGS)))
Hubby and I had a good long talk over dinner. I'm NOT going any place..not now, not EVER! We are talking about selling the house and moving out of state, no "Goodbye's" no "Fair wells" not even kiss my butt! When we do get around to doing this, we will let his brother and his family know, as my hubby's kids dont have anything to do with them either.
This man is the best thing that has ever walked into my life...and I am NOT going to let those grown CHILDREN ruin my life! You are VERY right on what you said about them doing this same thing to someone else...Hubby told me that same thing over dinner. He told me it wouldn't have mattered WHO he married, they would not approve of them. I'm not married to his kids...I'm married to him!
As for them changing, Hubby said he doesn't ever see that happening. His son gets mad at him when he doesn't get his own way, and calls him a SOB. Hes tired of their disrespect, I'm tired of their disrespect.....
Praying for all of this dramma to be done with SOON....time to hit the BLOCK button!
Y'all are great...I'm glad I found this group today...(((HUGS)))
Put the house on the market and buy a new one in both your names. Don't even tell them, don't give them your new address or phone number. They're grown ass adults.
Comments
From what I have been
From what I have been reading... I think I have found the help I have been looking for. For 6yrs, I have been having to deal with my hubby's daughter (30yrs old) and son (28 yrs old).
I'm not sure how to go about writing about all this..but here it goes.
My husband was married for 27yrs, and lost his wife in 2002 to cancer. From what he has told me, and other family members have told me...it was a rocky marriage. His wife let the children do what ever they wanted, bought them anything they wanted, let them run wild. As they got older, she was unable to get them to mind her...so she would tell their dad to discipline them. And when he did, she would scream at him to not ground HER children, to not scold HER children, and she was very verbally abusive to him (in front of the kids)....so he gave up trying to discipline the kids. After she passed in 02', he put all his time into his now grown children, to try and ease the pain of them losing their mother...and they used him to the fullest!
Well, we met in 2006', fell madly in love (and still are after 6yrs...Hes my best friend!) and married 4 months later. His kids were on their own when we met, and said we were acting like teenagers when we were dating (holding hands etc). They ACTED like I was OK in their book when I spent $600 on them that first Christmas..even told their daddy he done GOOD by marrying me. Things were up and down with both his kids through this time..when we spent money on them..everything was OK. When we didn't, they said I was spending their daddy's money (I was also working). The 2nd Christmas, I didn't spend as much (I had a heart attach and was out of work)..his kids had even less to do with their daddy. By the 3rd year, they had stopped coming to the house because they didn't like seeing another woman in their MAMAS house! Now, 6yrs later..its gone completely down hill...the more I try to have us be a part of their lives, the more they let me know I am NOT welcome. It all comes down to money, and my husband and I both agree that we WILL NOT buy their love!
All of this is hurting their daddy....they dont want him to be happy, and they have told people in the community that they will do what ever they can to get me out of their mamas house (always the mama..not their daddy's house)..even to the point of saying they will burn it down some day..if im in it or not! I'm to the point of leaving my best friend because I dont want to come between my husband and his grown kids! I cant handle the stress anymore! My grown son (24yrs old) Loves my husband so much, and is so happy for us! When he calls us, he always asks to talk with my husband also! He respects my husband because my hubby is good to me and loves me..he doesn't beat me like my sons father did! And he loves us BOTH without us having to spend a dime on him..he loves us because we are BOTH parents to him! WHY such a difference in three grown children!!!
I'm hurt (being called a EVIL stepmother to my face now)...I cant do anything more...
Any response or suggestion would help me tremendously right now....Thanks much
Good to see someone seen my
Good to see someone seen my post...was wondering if I did something wrong. NOT good that we have to go through this
(((HUGS)))
I did write it down. Hubby
I did write it down. Hubby said it was said out of anger, doesnt think they will do such a thing....Im not so sure of that.
Hubby just got home...time to
Hubby just got home...time to go to town. thank you for all the input, i'll check back later this evening. Im really needing help on this..im reading to throw in the towel
((((HUGS)))
Hubby and I had a good long
Hubby and I had a good long talk over dinner. I'm NOT going any place..not now, not EVER! We are talking about selling the house and moving out of state, no "Goodbye's" no "Fair wells" not even kiss my butt! When we do get around to doing this, we will let his brother and his family know, as my hubby's kids dont have anything to do with them either.
This man is the best thing that has ever walked into my life...and I am NOT going to let those grown CHILDREN ruin my life! You are VERY right on what you said about them doing this same thing to someone else...Hubby told me that same thing over dinner. He told me it wouldn't have mattered WHO he married, they would not approve of them. I'm not married to his kids...I'm married to him!
As for them changing, Hubby said he doesn't ever see that happening. His son gets mad at him when he doesn't get his own way, and calls him a SOB. Hes tired of their disrespect, I'm tired of their disrespect.....
Praying for all of this dramma to be done with SOON....time to hit the BLOCK button!
Y'all are great...I'm glad I found this group today...(((HUGS)))
Put the house on the market
Put the house on the market and buy a new one in both your names. Don't even tell them, don't give them your new address or phone number. They're grown ass adults.
SOON! Praying its VERY SOON!
SOON! Praying its VERY SOON!
So glad your hubby is on the
So glad your hubby is on the same page with you. His kids should be ashamed of themselves. Good luck!
He is a gem for sure! A very
He is a gem for sure! A very kind hearted gentle man..with a heart of gold
I'm VERY blessed to be his wife!