Okay so this is a touchy subject for most people and I understand that. 
 

I grew up in a family where I got to see my grandparents kind of often when I was young, bc we lived near them still, then we moved to a diff state and we began seeing them only during holidays, occasional special visits etc. that was fine w me as a child and if anything it made my time with them all the more special! 
 

However, my FH family's situation is so so different. His family members basically all live in a 10 mile radius of each other, and that's nice for them. We live about an hour away due to my job and school (plus SS's school). 
FH grew up seeing his family members nearly every day, weekly dinners with the whole gang. I found it charming until it continued into his late 20's and interfered with our plans to develop a relationship. (We managed and he realized he could detach from a weekly dinner at cousins bc the drive wasn't safe on a weekday night w drinking involved) 

This brings me to what my main point is, FH's mom used to watch SS on the scheduled days of FH's while he was at work ever since SS was born, and then on BM's days her mother would watch him or he would go to daycare bc BM also had to work. Now that's all really nice and great to have family watching their grandson. No problem with that. 

The issues is now...almost 6 years later, FH's mom has some very serious enmeshment issues with SS. Can't grasp going 2 weeks without seeing him. Doesn't understand that we can't make the hour drive for dinner on school nights bc bed time is early, and doesn't seem to understand that sometimes when he is with us on his one weekend a month, we would prefer to have our own family time, rather than send him off to her like she often begs us. (She doesn't ask for all of us to come, just wants SS to spend the night). She does also have a young son of her own (she's a young grandma, had her kids at 17 and latest child at 39) She also has another young grandchild that is just a year younger than SS. So I often ask myself, why are they not getting the same card and attention? She's not often begging for her other grandchild like she does w SS. Idk maybe I overthink (jk I know I do) 

honestly I don't want to come off as rude but I do think it's important for FH's son to have family time w his dad in our home, he's only here a short period of time and if he's constantly going off to his gms, we just don't get that QT in. 
 

can anyone relate or offer advice? Please know I am not judging anyone's similar situation or regarding this as a bad thing.