Oldest SD is just not a pleasant person!!
Youngest SD's wedding is 8 months away...so she is heavy into the planning stages...
SO far her Mom is not placing any demands on her, or being difficult, which is what we all (SD included) expected.
BUT the oldest SD is being horrible!!!!
SD fell in love with this beautiful wedding dress....
oldest SD tell says "I hate that dress!" ....
All the other bridesmaids picked out a really nice shade of blue for their dresses....
oldest SD says "I'm not wearing that shade of blue!"....."I'll make me look fat"
(no....BEING FAT is whats going to make you look fat)
They picked a nice style of bridemaids dress..
oldest Sd says..."I don't like that style"..
SD picked out what she wanted for her table settings at the supper...
oldest SD says "I don't like it!"
She's being very, very negative.....
All Dad & SD say is she's just like her mother!
It's a sin....Youngest is starting to get upset...and its only beginning!!!
We told her the other day...it's her day..all about her...whatever she wants us to do..its done. (Except sit with X)...
I wish others would realise ...they've had their wedding ...their choice of gown, colors etc....they need to BUTT OUT!!!!
AND just be supportive!!!! 
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My biggest fear
My biggest fear is that my SD11 will turn out like her mother. I love my SD with all my heart and I'll tell you - my heart will be BROKEN if she turns out to be a controlling, manipulative person like her mother who doesn't take responsibility for her actions and blames everyone else for her poor behavior.
I'm glad that your youngest SD has you by her side! Have you tried talking to oldest SD about her negativity? She sounds super jealous. Is she so unhappy in her own life that she has to rain on her sister's parade? It sounds like more than just taking after her mother. Maybe you could get to the bottom of it by going to her and expressing your concern over what could be depression and just plain low self-esteem.
I wouldn't speak directly to
I wouldn't speak directly to her about that..I'm held very much at arms length by the oldest....but I could mention it to youngest..and maybe she could talk to her.
Oldest has given up work to be home with her kids....I did that..
I know it can be very isolating...and routine...and lacking in adult interaction.and stimulation..easy to fall into a rut..or a depression
And she has gained a huge amount of weight...and is obviously very self-conscience about it... theres your self-esteem issues.
But unfortunately those issues aside....her nature is that of her mother. TO be jealous, sef-centered, vendictive, the world must cater to me kind of attitude.
Everyone in the family had told me that before I ever met her....
She is the spitting personality of her mother...she doesn't cheat on her husband but he is put on this earth to jump and serve her.
** change the baby, ** get me this, ** pass me that, ** get me some water, ** go to the car, ** get the baby a new shirt....just barks out a series of commands...one after the other...while she sits on her ass. This is over and above ...do the dishes...mow the grass..etc, etc,
If she got up and went to the car once in a while maybe she wouldn't be as big as she is......
That's mean...but...I guess that's the way her mother treated her father by all accounts...and it tends to hit a nerve with me.
This child was close to the mother....but the youngest was closer to her father....so I think that was the youngests saving grace...
Maintain a nice healthy close relatinship with the 11 yr old..and I believe she will tend to emulate the qualities of the people she admires most.
Her time will come
I would simply just explain to the eldest sd that it is completly her sisters choice and special day to make memories and if she wants blue dresses then she will have blue dresses and when she gets married she will have her own choices.Ask her why she wants to hurt her sisters feelings when she should be the closest one to her now.
i would as your oldest ss
i would as your oldest ss "what the hell is your problem?" if you have nothing nice to say, shut your mouth or better yet find someone else to replace you.
-happy mom
I wonder if the older is
I wonder if the older is jelouse of her sister? Is she is a relationship? It seems to me like maybe she is 'trying' to sabotage her younger sisters wedding.
I would love to say that
I would love to say that Happy mom!!! I don't sweat her anymore..so its not worth it.
Besides, If anyone says anything to her it would come back on youngest Sd......SO it's going to have to come from her and/or fiance. I think if/when they get fed-up enough they will say something....
For the record....She's married with 2 kids...married for 7 years. This kind of stuff is what usually goes on with the mother...always trying to make everyone miserable for whatever reasons. She's also very contolling...... and I think she wants what she wants when she wants its....but she forgets this one is not her call..it's sisters!!