How would you feel?
How would you feel?
My stepdaughter moved in with us after she got into a fight with her boyfriend which she swore that she didn't want anything to do with after that. No one else in the family wanted her even her own mother, so dad and I felt sorry for her and let her move in. Come to find out that she still wanted to date said boyfriend (that my husband hates at this point) and just didn't want to live with him. She just graduated from college and had no job at the time she's working now. The plan was to let her stay here long enough to get a down payment on a house and get on with her new and exciting life as a grown-up. It's been a year so far and things are not going well she is very rude and nasty towards her dad and she has tried to cause problems between him and me. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells bc they keep making each other miserable I'm a peace-loving creature and hate this toxic vibe in my house. She has a way of doing things without asking first my bathroom got redecorated and my house has turned into a storage unit to top it off I now have a new puppy that she ordered which cost over 1,000 dollars without asking if it was ok. Knowing full well that we didn't want another dog we lost our furbaby earlier in the year. we expressed that we didn't want to go through potty training my carpets are trashed her other dog puked up grass on the carpet and she didn't clean it up bc she blamed her father for letting her dog eat grass, so now I have green stains on my carpet. She told her father that she wants to buy a brand new jeep at 70 thousand dollars when is it going to end? I feel like we are being used since she doesn't pay rent. Hubs said he was going to charge her 500 a month she said she could only pay 300 bc she couldn't buy her jeep if she paid that much. So now she's mad at her dad and I for charging her rent and asking her to store her things in a storage unit. She even had the audacity to tell her father he should store his stuff instead. I want my house back! I've had enough I feel bad that I want her out of my house, but I'm tired of being disrespected.
Thanks for letting me vent not too many places that I can do this and feel like I'm understood.
- Lpatience123's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
OMG, kick her out. What is
OMG, kick her out. What is with so many people allowing these manipulative adult kids to live in their home rent-free? And her little dog, too. She has a full-time job, she can get an apartment.
Ditto this.
Ditto this.
This 100%. If she wants a 70
This 100%. If she wants a 70 thousand dollar jeep so bad, she can live out
Omg what!! If a person is in
Omg what!! If a person is in a financial position to be considering buying a 70k jeep they need to be living in their own house or apartment. What is your husband saying about this?
She's probably on a 12-year
She's probably on a 12-year loan, but if she's that crappy with finances, you know she's not really "saving up a down payment for a house".
Out
Discuss her departure with your DH, not if, but when and how. She is a selfish, immature leach. Let her be a selfish immature leach in her own place. And, no, that doesn't have to be her own house, a rental is more appropriate for her life stage.
Plan of Action
Ok, so all this is because your DH is being a "guilty dad". Unconditional love for your child doesnt mean that they can treat you like dirt, and use you and your partner and trash the house. Added to the pile is her planning on buying a 70k vehicle. Likely so she can cart around her pack of dogs, and look good. All while she is living rent free.
This needs to stop. Start the new month off with a launch plan.
First of the year, she will move out so she needs to start looking NOW for her new place.
No "hey you need to start paying rent", no she moves out. Pays rent somewhere else.
Dont ask her again to store her things elsewhere. Its not a question. She gets mad? So what, she can get mad.
She has the balls in the family. Redecorating YOUR home? Adopting a dog against your wishes in YOUR home? Telling YOUR husband he needs to store his things elsewhere? That takes a lot of nerve. Geeze, get her out!
I have SD21 Feral Forger who tried to move back in after arguing with Toxic Troll the BM. DH told her "you will have to work things out with cLove." Crickets.
Just saw her in person for the first time since this January at MIL's burial. Came to my house and let the dog jump up on her, and then leveled a few quick insults. No matter, her old room has been emptied out and converted into my little oasis of joy. She had the nerve to be mad that I cleaned out all her stuff. She didnt lift a finger to help us and there was much trash, and filth to wade through. Plus all furnishings taken out and either sold or left on the crb for anyoe to pick up.
So, now you know who she is, you need to do something about it. December is here.
Your DH needs to kick the
Your DH needs to kick the moocher kid out. She has a job. She doesn't need a down payment, she needs a security deposit to rent an apartment. She can keep saving for a house once she's in a place of her own. If she can entertain thoughts of a $70,000 Jeep and afford an expensive puppy, she can afford to live in her own place.
Also, if a SD brought a puppy into my home against my wishes, that would be a hill to die on for me. My DH would be getting an ultimatum at that point. This girl is abusing your kindness and DH needs to put a stop to it immediately.
If it were me, I'd keep the
If it were me, I'd keep the puppy and lose the SD.
How much does she have saved for a house down payment, if anything? Working a decent job and living rent free should have allowed her to save quite a bit. So, get on with buying the house.
Or, what, not enough saved? Who here would be shocked about that? Then it's time to switch to a downpayment on an apartment while she continues to save.
Time to get on with her grownup life, and if it's not exactly the way she wants it, boo hoo, welcome to adulthood. Her father is doing her no favors by enabling her juvenile behavior.
Huston We Have Problem !
It is time for this princess to launch... good bye, the best of luck Adios
Best of luck with this. Regards Jake
it gets worse
Well, my pet allergies are back I'm allergic to certain breeds of dogs Greman Sheppards and other thick-coated long-haired dogs baby puppy has this type of hair the little guy came in from outside and totally set me off I'm thinking oh crap he's going to get bigger and it's really going to be a problem. Hubs tried to tell her mom that I was having problems with my allergies and to see if she could take her in Mom noped right out of there and said I should take allergy pills.. I'm on heart meds I can't take allergy tablets and it was our problem trying to turn SD's bad mood and nastiness around on hubs saying it's all his fault she's being rude. He then tried her Aunt nope nada same with Grandma. They sure wanted this kid when we were paying child support now that the money has been cut off don't seem to want a thing to do with her. Hubs feels bad for her I don't blame him how would anyone feel if their family didn't want them. I guess we're too nice, but if the dog dander still bothers me she's going to have to go.
It's time both you and your
It's time both you and your DH put your collective foot down. She has 4 weeks to find a new place and not a minute more. Make sure you find out how to evict her legally if she won't move. Her wants (jeep) are not your problem. Her belongings are, as long as they are cluttering up your house, I mean. So tell her that you are having everything shipped to a storage unit in her name and will pay for the first month. After that, it's up to her. Point out that if she moves in to a new place, there will be no need for a storage unit. The dog goes with her.
It's time to stop walking on eggshells. She's poisoned the atmosphere in your home for more than long enough. She has a job, it's time for her to support herself, like any other grown up. You and your DH need your lives , your peace and quiet, your home back. Don't ask her to do anything (e.g. move out), TELL her to do it.
Put our foot down
well, hubs put his foot down with her she said she wasn't going to pay rent so he told her to get out. She knew she had to pay rent this month I don't know why all of the drama did she really need to have her dad yell at her. Why not just be an adult and pay the rent I swear the kid thinks she has to just act out and yell and she'll get her way. I caught her on the phone telling whoever what an ass her dad is for charging her rent and now she'll have to pay 1000 dollars for an apartment. I kind of wondered if that was a scam so she can get money from her relatives to help pay for the 1200 dollar T.V. she just bought. For right now we are getting death stares she's 23 I wish she would just grow up and move the heck out.. Please that's all I ask..