Start taking your life back. You have every right to see your parents if and you choose. If your partner wants to arrive later, leave sooner, or just not go with you then that's on him. His loss.

If I were you I'd grab the possibility of being with my parents rather than deal with the skid invasion.

Isn't the other bedroom big enough for two or three beds (bunks, trundle, etc.)?

My ex partner used to pull these same shenanigans 

He would frequently change his custody schedule to suit himself/his exwife/his kids and considering my needs typically came last 

I would rage at him every time until he got the point that if he kept operating like he was single (making last minute decisions that affected me without giving me a heads up BEFORE brining the decision to his exwife n kids) then he would find himself single

I also feel you on not wanting to deal with those kids full time because their bio parents are running a disorganized mess of a custody schedule, you have no say, and you are expected to use your resources to be responsible for them. 
 

My ex partner went from "my kids will be out of town with their mother and I'll see them on holidays" then a month later to "oh my kids coming back in town now I have them every weekend/holiday" to "I'm thinking about full custody"

The fact that he kept changing his custody schedule and wasn't honest about his custody desires of the top made me think that he pulled a bait n switch just to get some unsuspecting house slave to help him with his needy clingy kids because the average man cannot single parent to save their lives and need a woman to come through and help them. 
 

It's one thing if the man you're dealing with realizes the challenge helping raise his three kids, ensures his kids are respectful of you when they come over, he considers your needs as a priority too (and even compensates you for the work) - it's a whole nother level of sociopathic when they expect you to do all the work, they/their kids don't respect you, you have zero input, and you're treated as nothing more than a FREE nanny/maid/child support subsidy 
 

My own kid is very independent and heading off to the dorms for college so I was looking forward to easing up on the parental obligations not having him load me up with another indefinite years of feral skid invasions (he claims he wanted his kids to live with him/us after 18 - hell no!) 

I was not about to struggle it out with him, invest my resources into some ingrate disrespectful skids, work harder than his lazy trifling manipulative ex wife (who got PAID child support) to help her raise her bump-on-log kids who were very resistant to home training .... for zero return on investment 

No and No!!!!

He wants to see his kids, it's his responsibility as a BF to parent his kids... BM just because she a BM ....doesn't get stuck with the kids 24/7/365..He wants too have that great "Happy Family". You, him, the SK. That Basically nothing's can change.  TWO.  He's showing his true colors,  He giving the EX control of your home and life. 
'He should of talked to you, [I don't really see, how much that can actually do[ to you about visitation, holiday plans , Giving you time with your family

AND JUST REMEMBER.. you are one auto accident, BM getting sick, BF finding a boytoy and leaving to start a new life  To have SK ...7/24/365  

,  FIRST QUESTION a man with three kids. Why is there a lack of bed rooms?   Why isn't there a CO   Like in writing, so everybody knows the schedule.  So you can plan next years Christmas now.  Unfortunately, like all of us, we really don't understand SLife until it hits us in the face,   You need to have Kid free weekends every now and again. To plan a adult seeking away . 
'BEST OF ALL. It's only Two months. You can easily get out.  If this is nothing you so much now, after eight weekends. This is not the relationship for you.. this is the honeymoon part of the relationship, This is the best it's going to be.  And you are unhappy now. 

Yes with all of the above! Take back your life. It seems like he is more concerned with accomodating his ex than considering his CURRENT partner's feelings. Explain to him that he is not prioritizing your relationship with him. Seems like you are 4th on the totum pole behind the ex and all the SKs. 

Are you currently renting or did you buy a house together? Who is technically on the paperwork? Might be worth mentioning to him that he needs his own place to accomodate his children... that responsibilty is NOT on you. If he wants to continue rearranging HIS schedule to accomodate BM, then he needs to do it alone, without invading your space. 

Go visit your family anyway. Just because HIS plans change, doesn't mean that yours have to change as well. My DH also used to accomodate BM on a whim with SD. I finally told him what my travel plans with DS are ahead of time... if he wants to come, great. If he wants to stay behind, fine. But BM will not control my life and my schedule. Nope. Never. 

Bm dies and he has kids full time.

This is not the relationship for you.

Plus all 3 kids can share. Bunk bed with a trundle. Older sis will deal with it. No excuse to have them in the living room. Or you and your so sleep in living room and they get the bedroom. Kids shouldn't suffer for their dads poor planning

You need to have some plans that aren't focused around your partner and his kids.  I appreciate that you are new to the country so family and friends might be hard for the minute. 

• Are you working?  Could you suggest to colleagues to go for a drink after work?
• Depending on where you are in the country most of the councils have gyms for the local residents.  Membership rates are really low but the facilities are good.  They have lots of classes.  The upside is that the people attending will all be local to where you live.
• There are apps that you could download that offer friends groups for all kinds of things from walking to knitting to singing or whatever it is that might interest you.

Make plans, and don't alter them if your partner has the girls over.  I completely sympathise.  When my SSs were younger and had visitation every w/e Friday night to Saturday, I'd go out on Friday after work and get back at 8pm.  On Saturday, I'd leave the house to go do things from about 11am and get back after they'd gone home.  I'd see them enough in that time and visitation stayed focused on them spending time with their father.

I have been on this trip for about 10 years, and was just yesterday venting to husband about this very thing: 10 years of NEVER EVER EVER being considered AT ALL when it comes to visitation/scheduled visits.

Monday and Tuesday Powersulk SD17 "decided" that she didnt want to come to our house for her visitation. She was sleeping and then yesterday wanted to spend time with her friends. So its what BM Toxic Troll wants, what Powersulk wants, what husband wants.

So, I told him "please clean up the hairball your daughter left in the tub 2 weeks ago. I was hoping she could do it, and now shes not here, so you get to.

Ok, here is why this will not be a happy relationship for you:

1) Some single dads may say in the beginning that they only have their kids every other weekend and that's how it will stay, but they are not telling you the truth. Didn't you say you have had the stepkids 7 out of 9 weekends?

2) Some single dads may not have the desire or skills to have their kids full time, but they all want to be around their kids full time. When a woman moves in, these guys see it as an extra person to help, and they start getting the kids more. The guy may not be doing any more work than he was before, so they say "What's the problem?" The problem is that YOU will be doing more work. Dads are told how amaaazing they are simply for keeping the kids alive in a pigsty and tossing them a Happy Meal now and then. Women are held to higher standards by society and often have higher standards for themselves and their home, so they end up doing more work.

3) This guy is going behind your back with BM making plans about who is in your home. This wouldn't sit well with me and it sounds like it doesn't sit well with you, either.

4) You are already missing out on tine with your family. Some guys with kids feel that their family's needs are more important than those of a person without kids.

5) You don't want kids and yet you have 3 school-aged stepdaughters. This is actually worse than having 3 kids of your own. You have leas control, the BM will be present and possibly causing drama, and i hate to say it but the dynamic of stepdaughter and stepmom seems to be the most problematic in a lot of cases. And if BM suddenly decides she doesn't want to parent or something happens to her, you could get the kids full-time. Often, too, BMs will not raise the kids properly, then at some point will not be able to handle their behavior, and will then send their ill-behaved kids to dad's. Sometimes the kids will bounce back and forth based on BM and BD's whims and you will have little to say about it.

The above reasons include many stereotypes, I get that. But the stereotypes exist for a reason. If you want to be child-free, do NOT take on 3 stepdaughters! 

Sounds similar to what I have had happen with my DH & SD12.

DH would get her WHENEVER he wanted & what was more convient for him & BM. AND THIS INCLUDED TAKING HER OUT OF SCHOOL. SD missed 12 school days last year due to DH & BM making it more convient for them. 

I suffer from something similar & that is.....selfish signigicant others. They don't care about you or your needs. DH still does it to this day, but it is my choice to continue to stay married to him. But he is a selfish person. He truly is. Rough upbringing with little rules, but, since marrying me, I have put my foot down time and time again about some things and he now just has to start listening. 

I too, NEVER wanted children. Not until I met my husband. But I especially didn't want to be with somebody who had children of their own prior to me. (I had a very terrible series of Step-mother's myself growing up and I didn't want to go through that crap again with a step child). For you to have 3 step-daughters....is nuts. I NEVER would have been able to do 3. I JUST learned how to deal with one...and DH & I have been together for 4+ years.

It's frustrating. It truly is going to be what you want more at the end of the day.

The NCP has zero duty to take a kid every single scheduled visitation. Particularly in an EOWE model. Any model for that matter.

If the CP has plans the onus is on the CP to obtain care for the kid so they can go to their party, etc.... The NCP is not paid by the CP to be the CP's beck and call resource. The CP is paid for that service by the NCP.

Do not overcomplicate what is extremely simple. The NCP pays the CP to provide housing, care, feeding of the kids when the kid is with the CP.  It really is no more complicated than that.

Far too many NCPs jump through their asses backwards for their X in the delusion that they are spending time with their kids, doing it for the kids, being a good parent, etc.... 

Things are very different after a divorce. They should be.

When an NCP enters into a new relationship they have a duty to their mate to minimize the negative influences of the breeder's failed family baggage on their mate and build and maintain an equity life partnership. The mate has the duty to build and maintain that equity life partnership. There is zero duty to be an X's beck and call resource... That is in no way beneficial to the kids. Itn you SOs case it just demonstates to the kids that dad is mom's beck and call boy.

Now for you. Stop sacrificing yourself on the alter of Sparental martyrdom to your mate and his baggage. NOW!  Instead, focus on building your life together. That includes the Skids. It does not make the SKids the priority. The mates and their relationship are the priority.  Minor kids are the primary adult responsibility, they are not the priority.  For the CP kids are the near full time responsibility which the CP is paid to support by the NCP.  The NCP and the NCP's mate demonstrate a healthy adult relationship and parent the Skids when the Skids are with the NCP.

Focus on the actually simple structure eleminates tons of unneccessary drama. IMHO.

Do not cater to Skid B-days unless those days are part of a scheduled visitation. Even in that case, if you have plans, those trump the visitation. B-day or not.  Beyond that,  phone call and a card. Do not tolerate your mate shifting schedules. If he has to work on a scheduled Skid visitation weekend, he forgoes that visitation and it is gone. No more rescheduling. The NCP can refuse visitation any time they want and the CP deals with it.  That is what the NCP pays the CP for.  CS, while  the NCP's contribution to the support of the kids, also puts the onus on the CP to do what they are paid to do.

Most importantly, your partner's failed family does not take precidence over your family. Skid B-day or not, your mate must be at your side for the visits to your family just as you are at his... every...... single.... Skid visitation weekend.

Guilt, fee fees, etc... really have zero place in the schedule, etc....  Make decisions with the schedule and while engaging in reality. Not while trying to navigate everyone's feelings.  

So, stop jumping through your own ass backwards for your mate, his X and their failed family spawn. Demand that your mate integrates into your life as much as you are expected to integrate into his. 

I understand the challenge of holiday B-days.  My mom's is Dec 26.  Whenever possible, we are at my parent's to celebrate Christmas and mom'd B-day.  However, we also will spend that holiday with my wife's family.  We do not forgo our planned holidays at my IL's to accomodate my mom's B-day.  Your Skid's B-day does not trump your time with your family.

Only because you choose to be.

Don't choose to be.