Possibly pressing assault charges on BM..
So this weekend while FDH and I were out and about with some friends, we ran into BM (and it was her weekend to have FSS4. Where was FSS4? No idea.) BM and FDH had some tense words with each other outside of the bar - I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, not wanting to start things in public. I went to the bathroom while FDH got our drinks. Just a few moments later, someone comes into the bathroom to tell me BM is punching FDH in the head in the bar :jawdrop: Apparently BM had had a good amount to drink by this point in the night, and found nothing wrong with knocking 2 bottles out of FDH's hands and then proceeding to punch him in the head, all while screaming that he had supposedly "shorted her $30 child support". (Which is not true, he's been paying above what he is even supposed to be paying her.)
So, I come running out of the bathroom to see a couple guys pulling her off my FDH. I can see red marks on the side of his face. I'm livid. I call her a f***ing b**ch. So she tackles me to the ground, grabs a handful of hair and punches me in the face. I've never been in a fight in my life; I usually make fun of people who get in fights like that because it's so trashy. BM loves fighting, has been arrested before for fighting, has physically assaulted most of her family, and used to assault my FDH when they were still together. Needless to say I didn't come out on top in the fight. Doesn't help that she's built like a lumberjack.
No police reports were filed that night; FDH and I immediately went home after this happened. I was very embarrassed. I'm an extremely private person and this was all very public. So at the moment I'm looking up info on what I need to do to make a report and possibly see about getting some kind of order of protection. I think my FDH should do the same, but he thinks this will interfere with him being able to pick up FSS4 (BM has full custody). Does anyone have any experience with this kind of craziness? If my FDH filed a report against her, what would happen with FSS4?
Oh I forgot to mention, the bar has video cameras and everything is on tape. She's banned from the bar.
I also wanted to wait to file charges to see how she was going to act about the situation when she had sobered up. As expected, she is now refusing to let FDH see FSS4 on his Tuesdays and Thursdays, her reason being that in the court order it says 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. But FDH was switched to second shift and she had been letting him have FSS for a few hours in the morning instead. Now she's saying FDH will only have him every other weekend. So it looks like we're going to have to go back to court and get a lawyer this time and try to get custody just so we can put a stop to her bullying..
Anyway, if anyone has any advice or thoughts, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for letting me vent some 
- madison27's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
In some cases it's best if
:jawdrop:
In some cases it's best if the guy just walks away.
Only 14 more years of that...
Definitely press charges.
Definitely press charges. The drop off for kids can be done at the pd, or through a third party. Do not let her get away with this!!!
If it were me I would: Go and
If it were me I would:
Go and apologise to the bar owner. Then sweetly ask for a copy fo the video. Submit said video with the motion for a protective order.
Then FDH should use that same video to file for full custody. He could also request that she have to attend co-parenting and anger management classes.. because obviously she has a foul temper, a possible alcohol problem and could be a safety threat to FSS4. Also, its going to be REALLY hard for her to have parenting time when she is in jail on 2 counts of assault.
This above!!!!!!
This above!!!!!!
I'm thinking this is what
I'm thinking this is what we're going to do! We already actually did go in and talk to the bar owner and the bartender who was working that night, they're trying to get a copy made for us right now. From what they said, they've had problems with her before. And I really really am hoping she does get anger management classes out of this, or some kind of psych evaluation...she obviously has anger issues and no self control, it makes me worry about what happens to FSS when he's with her.
What everyone else said take
What everyone else said take pictures of any injures you or he have as well, you can call the cops right now even have a report made, but do this all yesterday. The longer you wait the less likely anything will stick because a judge will wonder why you waited.
Well im gonna say the first
Well im gonna say the first thing that popped in my head, and im gonna be blunt. Why in the hell would you and dh continue to walk into the bar for a round of drinks, or whatever AFTER just having an altercation with bm?
:jawdrop:
Are you serious? I would have frickin left if i even SEEN that bm is partying at the same exact place i'm tryin to enjoy myself with my dh. Smh
Anyway, yes press charges. Immediately. Even if dh doesnt, you should.
I'm wishing we had now
I'm wishing we had now
Would have been a much less drama filled night. But when we first saw her she was in the parking lot getting in her car and it looked like she was leaving, so we didn't think she would be following us back inside. Not a good assumption on our part, obviously.
This is going to set a
This is going to set a precident in BM's mind for future events. If you choose not to press charges, she *will* do this again.
I don't really give a
I don't really give a f#$%#$5ck about your DH at this point...and honestly, you should not either. You need to call the cops and make a report and file charges against her. You did NOT go out to punch her, she did...so fu#$%$5ck her, your DH and his kid if they don't like it. Do NOT put up with it once, because I promise you, that a man who decides not to press charges or doesn't want you to because of his kid, is not worth a freaking dime. Too bad. He should have jumped in and stopped her, but he obviously didn't move fast enough. File a report and let it fall where it falls.
What the hell did your FDH do
What the hell did your FDH do while the two of you were fighting?
I'm sorry, but if I were in your shoes, this relationship would be over. You get beat up and he doesn't want to do anything about it. WOW
It's one thing to have to deal with someone who is all talk. Dealing with someone who is a fighter (when you aren't) and who doesn't care about going to jail can be deadly. That woman won't think twice about jumping on you again. Pressing charges won't stop that.
Ok, probably should have said
Ok, probably should have said this in the first post but FDH was being dragged out the front door when she went after me. The bartender hadn't seen everything that happened with BM hitting FDH. All he saw was people being separated from each other, and there is a zero tolerance policy with fighting there. So he a hold of FDH and was dragging him out the door, someone was supposed to have a hold on BM too but they obviously weren't holding on very tight. And when FDH realized what was going on behind him he was fighting the bartender off of him and trying to come back for me. By that time it was over. She was able to get me to the ground and get one decent punch in before it was broken up.
And I never said FDH didn't want me to press charges, and I never said he wasn't going to. He was concerned as to what would happen with FSS with pick ups/drop offs. But like purplemom said, it'll be pretty hard for her to even have parenting time if she's in jail.
"It's one thing to have to deal with someone who is all talk. Dealing with someone who is a fighter (when you aren't) and who doesn't care about going to jail can be deadly. That woman won't think twice about jumping on you again. Pressing charges won't stop that."
That's a big concern of mine as well...she feels she's above the law.
OK, good, then if he doesn't
OK, good, then if he doesn't care if you press charges, you should not worry about skid either. Who cares what he thinks will happen if you do press charges. Sorry, to me if he even asked what would happen with the kid, that's a red flag...but maybe I am extra sensitive to the crap from these women and men. Good luck, but you really shouldn't concern yourself with what would happen. Just press charges and that's it.
I have to say, you should
I have to say, you should have called the police immediately after it happened. She would have been arrested on the spot and you could have gone to the court the next day and filed an ex parte restraining order. GET TO THE POLICE STATION NOW. AS IN YESTERDAY like another poster said. I don't understand why you would wait? Who gives a rats ass how she feels when shes sober? Nail her ass now! I'm sorry you got beat up though, I'm not a fighter either, I would cry.
File charges immediately - no
File charges immediately - no excuses!!!
Refuse to let her go without getting the serious consequences she deserves!!!!
I have been attacked before and know what you mean about being inexperienced, but if it ever happens again I would advise you to find your inner anger and bitch to get some good licks in, so she knows not to mess with you or she will get hurt!!!!
Go apeshit on her!!!! and then press charges on her!!!! that is how to stop this.
I think you got some great
I think you got some great advise, take pictures like YESTERDAY remember bruises heal, press charges NOW and get the copy of the video. On a personal note, I WISH my BM had the BALLS to come at that little bitch couldn't fight her wa out of a bag and is all talk. Now don't get me wrong, I won't ever throw the first punch my Momma taught me better but I WILL throw the last. If that was my BM I would have beaten her ass down! LOL
File.Charges.Now. She should
File.Charges.Now. She should be charged with assault & battery at a minimum. Use the video & witnesses as proof. File for a restraining order. Get an attorney if you don't already have one, and have him/her file with a judge for temporary emergency custody.
This bitch should be in jail.
I am speaking from experience. When DH & I began dating his BM found out about me and started stalking me and was stupid enough to leave threatening voice mail messages for me (both home & on my cell) about how she was going to have one of her junkie friends burn my house down while I slept.
I called the police, filed a report, filed for a retraining order, and pressed charges. It took more than 2 years for it to go before a judge (long story), but BM was found guilty.
DH & I attend all sorts of extracurricular activities for SD15, and have to see BM at most of these things. She stays as far away from me as possible and does not speak, which is exactly what she SHOULD do considering all things. She knows I will not take any of her shit and will not hesitate to press charges on her ass again. I'm not playing. If she wants to mess with someone, she'll need to find someone else.
Do NOT let this bitch think this is okay. Prosecute to the full extent of the law possible.
The reason I say ask for temporary emergency custody is that the bitch will likely go to jail over this.