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Thank you to everyone

MainelyaMess's picture

that was kind enough to offer a word of support and encouragement.

You know who you are and you know who you aren't. Smile

After spending a pleasant "me" day, it was comforting to know that some of you understand the situation I am dealing with.

I don't see any reason to re-hash it and will deal with situations as they arise, but I did want to add some final thoughts.

As she is no "spring chicken" who is now sporting a spiffy "pink" doo who comes complete with troublesome kids and a husband at home, I don't see her having too much luck in the dating scene. It's been 12 years since either of us dated, but I don't forget how much it SUCKED! LOL

I suspect she will have an epiphany in the coming weeks and realize it isn't a lot of fun. So my initial "panic" that this could hasten our demise has lifted. While I suspect she will try and may be successful in one-time situations, I doubt she will form any lasting relationships.

I am not certain how I will deal with the situation, should she have any luck, but I doubt it will be the toughest thing I have ever dealt with. Most likely, I will simply "play stupid" and focus on other things.

I have decided NOT to be a participant in any of her activities and by giving her my "blessing" at least I will have advanced knowledge of any pending situation and plenty of ammo should I ever need to fight for custody.

Time will tell and Time will heal.

Onto better thoughts and more "ME" time! (booyah!)

Comments

MainelyaMess's picture

While it may not be grounds for a divorce, it will be a compelling argument in any custody battle. Give in or lose my son.

It' the best I got...what'cha gonna do?

WTF...REALLY's picture

To get full custody, as both our DH's have, the BM has to of dome some crazy, illegal stuff. Having sex outside the marriage is not even going to be on the radar. Stabbing, multiple DUI's, fraud, drugs......and even these items have to have been substantial to have custody removed.

Not seeing how BM having sex outside the marriage that her husband gave his blessing on will even be heard.

WTF...REALLY's picture

(Hangs head in shame)......I'm sorry. He should of married Denture Debbie.

WTF...REALLY's picture

This is so messed up. I know you are only seeking support on this site and not wanting unsupportive replies, but it is a public site. I will only say this once.

You come on here saying you and your our wife have a great relationship, she just wants to date other guys. In your other post, you are in full support of her doing it. Gave her your blessings.

Now you are saying you could use it against her in a court of law. What a nasty thing to do to someone. It's what we call over here being a snake.

What you might do is so much more unkind than what she is doing. She was upfront. You could accept it or leave her. You CHOOSE to accept it. Now you are lying to her, being sneaky and just plain nasty by thinking you just got your self some ammunition....ya know.....just in case. Gross. This is gross.

Your wife has more integrity than you do. Hope some guy really enjoys her, and her pink hair.

MainelyaMess's picture

What an interesting read on legal issues to consider.

Hopefully, I will never need to "argue" any case before anyone. The evidence will only support character and I don't expect it to have any "Aha!" effect.

My best hope is that she decides to leave me my son and chase after her "rainbows & unicorns" once SS16 graduates HS in 2 years.

My worst fear is that some nut job convinces her to "take care of her needs, the kids will adjust" and she chooses to leave sooner.

Because we have an amicable relationship and we DO discuss our feelings & short falls within the relationship, I doubt she would make this decision without someone else influencing her.

She is aware of my feelings of being undesirable, unappreciated and the resentfulness I feel regarding the skids and being "used". I am aware of her feelings unloved and her need for more intimacy. I am simply unable to "fake" that. It's never been "that" type of relationship to begin with. I do care about her and sincerely hope she finds some happiness along the way. I like to think that she would never take my son from me, but I also know how much people change when a relationship comes to an end. Even if we split amicably, any time away from my son is lost time and something I don't want to give up. (call me selfish)

She is not aware of my plan to exit as soon as skids are gone and bs is old enough to choose. I don't think she would be as upset over being a part-time mother as I would be as a part-time dad. If there were not half-siblings involved, we could almost make that choice today, but I don't want to separate him from his brothers whom he does have a good relationship with.

I wish I had never started this thread, can we leave it alone until something new happens please. Smile

zookeeper's picture

"I don't want to separate him from his brothers whom he does have a good relationship with."
I completely understand that. Good on you.