My DH met with SS to talk about the finances. I was also there at this "meeting". We told him how sorry we were about BM. It was the first time he has seen SS in weeks. We talked it over and we decided (although I was not entirely happy) that he would give SS 400 dollars a month, the car that has been paid for, plus car insurance and a small gas allowance. But there were some conditions. SS was to have a part-time job ,maintain good grades and he was to visit us every weekend without fail. And my DH wanted the scholarship information so he can help SS plan his finances.

SS did not get angry or aggressive. He looked very tired. He said things that I do not remember word for word. I remember most of it but maybe the order is messed up. But it went something like this, "Dad, I did not realize asking you for help meant have so many strings attached. I would have done all these without being asked. But the fact that you are actually telling me to do these things lets me know how you feel about me. I am not a bad, irresponsible person. I am not perfect but I work hard. I know that XXXX(our BS) has no requirements like these. His grades are nearly not as good as mine were. And he does not even have a part-time job. I do not get why I am treated differently. I think I can do without your money. I will find a way somehow. Thank god uncle XXXX (my DH's brother) and aunt XXXX have been helping me. I think I asked too much of you. I just thought that since I have not asked anything from you for the past few years you would help out this one time. I hope you have a good life with Maria and BS Dad. But don't come to me if you need a kidney or anything else. And trust me, I will die before I come to ask you for anything ever again. Bye Maria. Tell XXXX(our BS) I love him and will add him on facebook again."

He just walks out of the restaurant and walks home instead of letting my DH drop him back to his brother's house. My DH cried on the drive home. I cried with him. I have been in this boy's life since he was a toddler. The only reason we put those conditions was for his own good. We did not think he would take it like that. We are all just moping around at home. The only ray of hope I see in this is that he did add BS on Facebook. My MIL seems to have calmed down and is being nice to me again. But I am being very cautious around her. I pray that with time, all this will blow over. My DH has been talking with his brother (who SS is staying with) to sort out finances somehow without telling SS. We will see how that goes.