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Help! Am I crazy?

Marie92's picture

Submitted by Marie92 on Fri, 01/19/2007 - 11:42pm

I think I'm a crazy grown-up. I have 4 sons, a SS, and a SD. My SS is always around, sometimes he can be a pain, but is respectful and listens to me. My SD, 7, is so-so. She can be a sweety and a little monster, I say that with love. She's really a gorgeous little girl, looks just like my DH. That's good and bad. Good cuz she's cute, bad cuz she's not mine. Sad Lately, she has tested me everytime she comes over (Tues and Thurs evening and Sat. night). I send her to school WED and Fri, where my friends work, so I like for her to look nice. She hates that. I usually make sure she looks like a little girl, with fixed hair and ironed clothes. I'm girly, but BM is NOT! So, it's a fight everytime. She's not used to looking nice, but when she's done, she likes it and thanks me. She especially likes it when I blowdry her hair.
Well, she's been acting like a daughter, I guess, (remember I have boys) and hanging on her dad. Acting like a baby and getting dad to fall for every lie she tells him, while looking me in the eye as she sits on his lap or hangs on his neck. Kinda like, haha! Sorry, I know. I'm a b****, right? I just don't know what to do!!! Help, ladies! I can't help dreading her arrival to our home. Even when I'm talking to him on the phone and he mentions her name, it irks me! What can help? Sometimes I think that if I had a daughter I would understand, but who knows? I've always wanted a daughter, but I wouldn't trade one of my beautiful boys for that. I want my boys AND a girl. But anyway, help! help! help! I have to see her again tomorrow.

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Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Sat, 01/20/2007 - 7:29am

I think you need to talk to Dad and clue him in that she is playing him, because this isn't a stepmom vs. stepdaughter thing, it's a little girl wrapping Daddy around her finger thing. Daddy's have a hard time seeing their sweet, little girls as anything but sweet, little girls, believe me! And if you don't believe me, call my mom! Wink By the way, it sounds like you already have a mother-daughter dynamic going with this child, so just enjoy it. Mothers and daughters have a really unique relationship and it does sometimes involve hand-to-hand combat, along with a lot of eye-rolling, complaining and competition. I have one daughter who will be four next month and she never fails to run to Daddy when Mama has to give her what for. Daddy used to fall for it, but he did start to see on his own that she was playing us against one another, so now we take turns being the mean ogre and it's all good. I also have two teenaged stepdaughters and the oldest gave me a run for my money in the beginning, trying to monopolize her Dad's affections and all of that. It made him uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure how to deal with it. So we did two things, I turned up the affection I showed her so that she would know she could cuddle on my lap, too, for example; and my husband also would gently redirect her to get her focused on something else. Eventually, it worked and she stopped cutting me out.

~ Anne ~

P.S. Just wait until she gets her PERIOD!!!