Step mom's new abode - ALONE!
Well, it's week two after the big move and I am enjoying the tranquility and relaxation of not being around the mentally ill, very irritating and frustrating 25 year old stepson who seems to not be able to give up smoking cannabis! My husband is coming to terms with me moving, sleeps over on weekends and has dinner some nights with me through the week. So far it's going well and I feel like I have a new lease on life. My stress stomach contractions have completely stopped and I feel like I have some energy now. I actually walk the dog every morning (get up at 5am!). The cat gets to cuddle up with me most nights but gets put out of the bedroom if annoyingly playing at 1am, but that's ok, I can tolerate a playful cat! hahah. I actually enjoy cooking now because my kitchen is CLEAN when I come home. I no longer have to continually lock the bedroom door and my office door to keep the stepson from going through my things. I no longer have to listen to doors slamming & the toilet seat being slammed down in the middle of the night. I no longer have to put up with the stepson knocking on the bedroom door every 30 minutes for a cigarette (because being schitzophrenic,you have to ration his cigarettes out otherwise he just smokes them all, OR alternatively if you give him a packet he trades them for cannabis!). The freedom in my home now is wonderful.
- mia23's blog
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wow!!! Congrats!!!! I
wow!!! Congrats!!!! I contemplated doing this 2 months ago when My Cannabis smoking-non-rent paying- Princess of Slobs was living with us. I got tired of the constant Mess she left behind- smoking pot (in her room if it was too cold outside)- stomping and slamming doors- Watching TV til 3 am and Baking at all random hours of the day/night. I was sick of her childish Notes being left all over the house- nastygrams aimed at me and my daughter. I was so sick and nervous all the time- I finally told my BF I was moving out. And I wasn't backing down. I started to pack things up- I looked at houses to rent- Me and my daughter needed some Peace and quiet where we could Breath and live freely. My BF took me seriously and He was forced to finally address "the elephant in the room" so to say. It had been there- We just kept walking around it hoping it would disappear on its own accord.
He finally sat the damn Elephant down and said- she had to move out. He helped her find a place- but we had to wait 3 grueling weeks before the apartment was ready. I can honestly say- I feel soooo much better with her gone!! Me and My daughter are so relaxed and at ease again. I don't feel like Choking someone 24 hours a day!!!
It is Liberating!!! and I am so happy for you!! It's a shame your husband can't see he has an Elephant in his room too!!!
BBGF
I actually LOVE living alone!
I actually LOVE living alone! I love my husband, but I love the peace so much too! Unfortunately, my husbands 25 year old son is not normal (schitzophrenia) and my husband did put in him many other supervised accommodations, but he got kicked out of EVERY one. Not only is he a schitzophrenic, but he has the mental age of a 13 year old, as that is the age he started smoking and it's stopped his maturation. I also had to listen to doors slamming at all hours, the toilet seat being slammed down during the night, the constant mess! Made me very disinterested in cooking and cleaning that house. I became a prisoner in my own room as that is the only room I could lock myself away in to avoid the stepson.
My new bed arrives today too! Wooo hooo!
Good luck with your search for a new abode. You'll find you have more energy as you sleep better and don't suffer anxiety and all the exhausting adrenaline rushes from the stressful confrontations with the step child!
I'm happy for you that it
I'm happy for you that it worked out that way. We tried to go down that track but the SS just kept getting kicked out of wherever he was staying. He's not normal, so it makes things more difficult. He was doing all the stuff your SD was doing. I think things will eventually turn out for us and our marriage but I also think it will be a long time before things are permanently changed. Isn't it so refreshing to not suffer the high anxiety, the panic attacks, the flushes of adrenaline when challenged by the SD/SS? I no longer have any stomach involuntary contractions at rest in bed. I hardly even grind my teeth or grit my mouth when sleeping now. Hopefully, I will also stop emotionally eating and loose those 10kg for summer, hahah. Good luck. I hope things stay well for you.
WOO HOO! I'm gradually
WOO HOO! I'm gradually working toward this end!!!
Won't miss the:
1. 767 engine snoring
2. walking on eggshells as regards his brats
3. the ever present danger that his destructive no-manners brats will come back to my house and bankrupt us through guilty daddy spending
4. the letters in the mail stating that the three brats are failing school again and again and again
5. spending all my money on this god forsaken dump that I bought to be "closer to his kids" (TM)
6. the screaming violent tantrums when he discovers I've been making casual conversations with his relatives or mine; he perceives everything as a slight against him
7. the overly spiced food he makes (dumps boatloads of hotsauce and soy sauce on everything)
8. his constant pestering for "back door activities" (ARRGHHH!!)
9. having to exercise when he's not around (he's ALWAYS around)
10. listening to his constantly repeated stories about when he and the Behemoth were married (good times. . . not)
11. the constant drain of money spent on booze (his)
Do it, move, you won't know
Do it, move, you won't know yourself! It's great getting away from all that crap!
I did it. I feel great and do
I did it. I feel great and do not miss a thing. I am happier than ever I have been. I no longer contemplate marriage or being with a guy in a committed relationship. Feels great to be by myself.I can completely relate.
Good for you. It's just
Good for you. It's just happiness we all want. I lived alone for 8 years before I got married and loved it then. I didn't get married because I was lonely, I got married because I was in love. If anything ever happened to my husband or if we decided not to be married anymore, I wouldn't get married again or even live with someone (they've always got children), but I would have a partner who lives separately! People at work have noticed how more relaxed my expression is now! hahah.
Well, it's week 3 and hubby
Well, it's week 3 and hubby has gone from feeling like the victim to blaming himself for not listening to how unhappy I was to live with his son. He is now being very attentive and loving, visiting me more and is determined to not loose this marriage. Said he will make sure he finds alternative accommodation for his son. He might have to actually live with him part time and live with me part time. We shall see. In the meantime, I'm loving the peace and stress free home! I actually enjoy cooking again.