I will try to put this down so it makes sense but I feel a little messed up in the head at the moment. I guess I will try to stick to the most important issues going on right now.

So its my OBS bday on sunday. SS hasnt been here in about 6 weeks and that was only for a few hours. Before anyone asks, there is no CO, we dont really use them very often here unless the separation is messy or nasty. OBS wants SS at his party, so SO calls him. The little brat hasnt been to see his dad in 6 weeks and every fortnight SO calls him only to be told by SS that he isnt coming coz he never gets to spend any time with him. I really dont want him at the party, why the hell should he get to do the fun stuff when he wont come and do the mundane every day stuff?

Am wondering if the situation with SS has a direct affect on us here at home. I have noticed that SO has next to no patience (he doesnt have a lot anyway but seems to have less than normal) with my BS's they are 4 and nearly 8. We have been getting a fair bit of attitude from the OBS but I gather from talking to other mums I am friends with that its fairly normal at this age to test the limits as long as I am keeping on top of it. I do try to, but sometimes things slip through the cracks. I dont see toys being out as a big deal but SO goes off his chops if stuff isnt picked up, or if I have had a coffee in the lounge room and left my cup there or the kids go outside to play for a while and leave the TV on. As I said just goes off his chops and unplugs the tv or confiscates the toys. My theory is as long as they are picked up before bed there shouldnt be a problem, and the coffee cup? As long as it makes its way into the dishwasher at some point during the day, whats the problem?

Also swearing, he swears alot anyway in general conversation and I have to admit so do I but I have noticed recently that he is swearing AT my BS's when he never did that before. I finally lost my shit tonight when I realised that it was actually happening, and he has been sulking ever since.

So then I go to check his phone, due to some previous emotional cheating issues, he has switched the phone off which he never does at night and there is now a pin activated on it. This is my old phone (his died) and I know for a fact that there was never a pin activated on it before, so whats he hiding?? I bypassed the pin and checked his phone, there was nothing there, so unless he is deleting messages and is expecting one in the middle of the night, whats the point? I changed the pin to so he wont be able to get it unlocked.......not sure how he will explain that tomorrow when he asks for help (ha ha)

So I am now 21 weeks pregnant with our first bio child together. Which leads me to wonder, how the hell did I get here, and what the hell do I do now?