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That one family memeber

MidwestStepmom's picture

Won't post. See comments. Man I wish this would be fixed. Seems like this happens a lot.

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MidwestStepmom's picture

Do any of you have family memebers that you are starting to see there true colors?

I have a SIL who is 10 years older then me. She is my husbands brothers wife and here is what I have started to see over the past few years:

Upset because we wouldn't drive her son home on a three day trip with us. That would make 5 people, luggage and a car seat in a car for three days.

Told us she wanted to send her son to house for a week during the summer so she could save on daycare. That would require myself or dh to use up vacation to watch her kid. Nope!

Told family memebers that MIL didn't love her grand kids because she was moving away. And upset over it because her free daycare was coming to an end.

Asks older BIL to pay for her families trip to where mil lives. She thinks it's a TREAT to have her family in the presences of everyone.

Upset because dh and I had our first and planned child 1.5 years after her third child (that wasn't planned). Guess she wanted her child to be the baby of the family?

Has a family memeber watch her children after school so she can save on daycare. The husband of this family memeber has a dibilitating condition.

The list just goes on and on, she emposes on everyone and no one is willing to say anything because my dh family is fake nice. I've just started to ignore her. We were at a grad party a few weeks ago and I said just a few words to her, they were quick responses to her questions.

mommy0104's picture

Unfortunately for me, i've got more than the "just one" family member..i've had to cut a lot of relatives out of my life. Some of it because they're truly evil, others because of their toxic lifestyles..and a few I don't completely cut out, but I spend less time with, because they're in a bad mood 24/7. I try to be a happy go lucky girl..and having 39483028 sour apples around me all the time, tends to put me in a bad mood. But yeah, I get your point..there's always at least one family member that makes you wanna scream.

MidwestStepmom's picture

I've had to cut out a lot of family memebers on my side due to thier life styles. My family is filled with trailor trash, welfare abusers, and child molesters. I want nothing to do with that life style, I RAN as soon as I graduated high school. It just makes me sad that dh one family memeber is like this. I don't have many people that I call family, so I get upset when I see warning signs of toxic people.

Shaman29's picture

I've got some toxic family members as well. I received many complaints, when living on the mainland, as to why I didn't see them more often. Or when I did see them, why do I only stay for long weekends.

Two of my sisters schedule their visits for a minimum of 10 days.

I have some family members blocked on FB.

Fortunately, now that I live here, I have a built in excuse as to why I can't visit as often. And when I do visit, I'll be coordinating several visits in one trip so I won't be stuck in one place for too long.

misSTEP's picture

My cousin is one of those types of BMs that can spit kids out but not take care of them. She has 4 children and custody of NONE. She is a meth head. I hate that I am even related to her.

My DH's family....oh boy. Well, his brother and father are completely toxic. They pressure people to drink alcohol even when they state they don't want to. Including my DH. BIL got trashed and physically attacked my DH. My DH is way bigger but didn't want to hurt his brother. BIL had him down, choking him and saying he was going to kill him now. He broke DH's glasses, big toe and cracked/displaced 10 ribs.

FIL believed BIL that DH started it, even though BIL was drunk and DH was sober. Sickening. BIL is still living with FIL at age 36. I don't see that ever changing until FIL dies. Then BIL will have to find another enabler.