Minor but just another reason I can’t stand BM.
So.. in a two weeks SD15 will be flying alone on 2.5 hour direct flight. She is staying at friends house (who's mom will pick her up at the airport) and fly home with SO and I when we go down a few days after SD.
Now for some background on SD for those who might not know.. she's 15 going on 30, smart, witty, if I've taught her anything it's to not take shit from anybody LOL, protect your friends from bullies etc. as of now wants to be a GAL when's she grows up.. so to say the least.. She can handle her own.. not to mention she's 6'1" and I wouldn't mess with her haha.
This will be the first flight she's ever been on alone and it's basically her sitting on the plane alone. I was flying alone at 9 and totally on my own with layovers at 13. Not worried about SD AT ALL.
So she texted BM to let her know the plan etc... instead of being excited for the girl to fly alone, see her friend she only sees once a year, going on vacation etc... BM makes it about her.
Tells SD that she doesn't agree with her flying alone but if SO supports she will .. so you don't agree but support (?) She wrote back SD "sighhhhhh" in 4 different sentences. Didn't once say how she was happy/excited for her just talked about her feelings.
SD is starting to really catch on to the BM drama and isn't having it. She's getting increasingly frustrated.
We didn't say anything to SD about how BM responded. We were just like ohh..
She really can't do anything. She has spent 3 hours with SD since Xmas. Once for nails in beginning of Jan and out to eat with SD on her bday in April. THAT IS IT! SD will be seeing her next week because she wants BM to buy her a new fish because hers died.
It literally infuriates me (don't know why) that she can not NOT make something about ***her*** feelings.
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Your SD sounds great
I'm happy for her, she's starting to have an adult life. I agree, your BM is aggravating, the less said, the better. Good for SD!
There's no going back after a
There's no going back after a solo flight. BM has lost her baby and is grasping at straws to stay relevant. SD will feel so independent afterwards.
100% trying to stay relevant.
100% trying to stay relevant.
Some BMs can't allow their
Some BMs can't allow their kid to be happy or excited about anything else the other parent does. Anytime we would do anything with SSs and they would tell BM, she would say, "you've already done that before" (as if you can only experience some things once and that's it) or tell them how it was lame or dangerous. It's really petty and juvenile.
Yep sure is. For this case
Yep sure is. For this case she sees it as her being "caring" and her being the better person because she "supported" SOS decisions... In reality she made it about herself though. She doesn't see it.
A 2.5 hour flight alone is a
A 2.5 hour flight alone is a great way for a teen to flex some independence. You already know BM is an idiot, and it's good to see that SD may also be catching on.
We dealt with similar recently with ET. OSS recently took an overseas trip to perform. We asked that he texts us when he arrived at his destination and when he got back stateside. If he wanted to text more, cool. He was with other people and a tour company, so level of actual concern was low.
ET, however, wanted him to text her every. Single. Day. He is 20 years old and has lived at college by himself for the last two years. He has travelled internationally before. Heck, she even wanted him to go to Haiti for a mission trip back when he was a younger teen without a cell phone. Yet, here she is, expecting him to text her from a phone WE pay for on a trip WE helped pay for that she was SO adament she wanted to help pay for and never did because...she's worried? Concerned? Wants to look like a good mother? To soothe her own ego? I dunno.
SD will learn not to share exciting things with her mom. May take her several years, but she'll get there.
It's totally to soothe their
It's totally to soothe their own egos. She will probably stop sharing things in her life with BM because she will know it won't be about her mother supporting her.
DS first flew at 17 without
DS first flew at 17 without me. Somehow it bothered me much more then trips he took with me exen though he was still with ExH. It never bothered me when he was with me, Like if we flew together & crashed I could catch him & save him LOL (DS is 5'11"; ExH is 6'; I am 5'2"). I would never let on about my nervousness to DS though. I simply asked that he text me when he landed so I would know everything was alright.
I started flying internationally alone at 15.
Not a big deal as I had been flying internationally with my family since I was 4.
SD will do great. BM needs to cool her jets and cut the umbilical cord.
No cell phone, no credit card. Just pay phones, collect or 3rd party calls, and cash. It was my responsibility to make sure I made connecting flights, etc..... There was no such thing as unaccompanied minor travel service from the airlines.
The helicopter parenting that young people today suffer through is pathetic IMHO.
Hell, kids don't even play outside with other kids these days much less alone. Time to go back to drinking out of the garden hose, be home when the street lights come on in the evening, and figure it out unless there are protruding bones, etc...
Some bio parents just
cannot stand when their child does something exciting or new at the other bio parent's household because it was not their idea and selfishly wish their child wasn't having any fun really with the parent that is not them. It is just so sad. I mean we don't get along with BM at all and definitely have different values and expectations than her, but we don't want SD miserable at BM's house especially when SD is with BM majority of the time. So when SD tells us stories of things she has done or whatever at BM's at worst case all we will say is "Oh, that is nice" or something to that effect so it isn't putting SD down or her time at BM's down, but doesn't give more than validating we were listening.