SS19 turned 19 in October. The only time he ever sees BM is on his birthday and Christmas... He has been "done" with her for a few years now. Sees who she really is basically..

He didn't see her on his birthday and he doesn't want to see her for Christmas. He brought this up yesterday. I'll add she didn't attempt really much to see him and didn't gift him anything. Her parents sent a card empty too. They live in town and he hasn't seen them in years. 

He mentioned to SO and I that he was going to basically call her out for being a POS parent etc. We told him he can do whatever he feels comfortable doing but with dealing with BM you have to have tact and she's going to cry and meltdown if you attack her like that.. and just going about her normal guilt tripping that she does with her kids that she never made an effort to see 4 miles away for years and years now. Not sure what he will end up doing but we will see how that goes. SO said to just let it fizzle like it has been for years now. SS19 doesn't want a relationship with her. 

Now on to SS20. SO just finished building him a room in the basement because the boys have surpassed sharing a room. SS19 and SS20 don't get along. SS20 "thinks" they have a relationship.. he is FAR misunderstood. SS19 can't stand him. He tormented him his entire life basically until SS19 got bigger.. on top of them being two total opposite people. SS20 doesn't get that he also doesn't like him for how he treats me and SO. SO has talked to SS20 about this as well.. doesn't stick... like everything else. 

SO thought this was going to cure the tension in the house... it's not. SO still has some work left to do (SD and SS19 will be swapping rooms) so the project isn't complete but SS20 has resorted back to his old ways the past few weeks. SO got him a job where he works. A friend of SO pulled some strings and got him in. SO found out SS20 was the worst interview of the bunch plus his lack of experience.. SO wasnt sure if he was going to get hired. Anyways.. This will be SS20s career. He doesn't start for a few months but SS20 has been on his best behavior with SO because of him building the room and the job... FUNNY how that's done and he's back to being an asshole to SO then plays nice because he thinks everyone forgets everything in 5 minutes. 

I take a picture of the kids every year.. granted they are adults..SD16.5 is almost there but since they are still home I do it. Yesterday was the ONLY day it was going to work. I take them outside so trying to coordinate schedules is a challenge. Naturally.. SS20 was told to be ready at x time. He couldn't be and SD had to leave for work. I made SO take over coordinating these pictures two years ago because I couldn't deal with SS20. Turned into a mild blowout and SO said F it I'm over it. SS20 continued to rant how "why are we taking them today?" Wtf blah blah blah ... the kid can NOT see outside himself. SO argues with him constantly over stuff like this.. it goes no where. We are all so DONE WITH IT. 

Tonight.. he is in the kitchen blasting BM and her husband on speaker. SS19 is in the living room on FaceTime with his gf quietly, I can hear the f'n phone upstairs with the door shut. SO isn't home. I honestly think some of the shit he does is on purpose. You have your own fn space... GO THERE!! We all don't want to hear your convo with people.. ESPECIALLY BM. SS19 and I were texting each other while it was happening.. basically saying wtf... circles right back about his lack of awareness and or care for anyone else in the house besides what he is doing! 

I can keep going. I just can NOT wait till I don't live with him anymore. Rumor is BM and her husband are fixing one more room then they will move and finish their house out of state. I'm praying it's within this new year. Plan is SS20 is going to rent her house (her husbands) once they move.

Rant over.