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Dreading the weekend...

missovo86's picture

Submitted by missovo86 on Thu, 01/19/2017 - 9:31pm

I recently posted my first blog here and got mixed reactions. Honestly, with everything that has happened the past year, I dread every other weekend. I know I can't stop it from coming and I know the 48 hours go by fast. I only get one day a week off (Saturday) and my husband gets Sat and Sun, so we feel the need to spend Saturday doing something as a family, but I really just don't want to be around this kid. I know I sound awful, and I realize there are alot of issues that she can't help, but it makes me sick to sit back and be expected to ignore this manipulative behavior and see her play us to get advantage. I swear sear the child is calculating. I'm dreading the minute he walks back thru my door with her, hearing her whiney voice and just waiting on what sort of trouble will happen this time, just like every time. I feel like coming home from work tomorrow and laying in my bed and crying all weekend. I am so emotionally exhausted that I really don't know what to do. Suggestions?

Comments

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Thu, 01/19/2017 - 10:01pm

Solo outing to the movies? Or visit a friend for the day? If you don't want to be there, don't be there. If you want to stay in bed all day and read a book (or cry) then do that. Doing something positive will probably make you feel better though. Take a weekend off from her and then reassess after that what you want to do in the future. Just tell your husband that you are exhausted and need some me time to recuperate.

Katie Step Mom 2017's picture

Submitted by Katie Step Mom 2017 on Thu, 01/19/2017 - 10:15pm

I say if the girl is a little brat and you've asked your husband to help correct her behavior and he doesn't, then I absolutely would make a plan with a friend and go off and do my own thing. I agree with the comment above.. laying in bed all day will make it worse. Trust me I know. My step son is not pleasant when we do things. He acts miserable and it makes me sooo uncomfortable and miserable myself. I have flat out refused to go places and stay home and then I stew over things and by the time they get back I'm LIVID. I now have learned when things aren't going well between me and my step son, I am friendly and say "have fun !! sorry I have plans" My husband knows why but if he refuses to address the situation, I refuse to be around it!!

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 01/20/2017 - 1:31am

So take your daughter and go do something fun. Just the two of you. Your DH can do something with his kid.

Who watches your daughter on the two Sundays SD is there that you work?

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Fri, 01/20/2017 - 6:20am

Disengage lady.... it will safe you.... after a couple off months you hardly hear a skid speaking

SD asking you something, smile and say, Ask your Dad Honey.....

You just focus on your daughter, what about visiting your mother, sister, brother... if they live close buy, or arrange a play date with DD and her friends and the mothers....
Teach DD some art work (for the life of me I can't recall her age - hope old enough lol)

Simply let DH handle his daughter, and if you have to look after her when DH is at work... don't say a thing, simply supervise and make sure she does not burn the house down or kill any one/thing... if she asks something smile and say - lets wait till Dad's at home.... that now excludes food.... on your watch make sure she has a sandwich and some juice/milk what ever... if she's thirsty in between.. smile and say you know where the water is SD....

This is only to keep things the way they are.... when you work you want DH to watch DD..... teach DD to sort of be independent and not ask to much of DH.

You are causing your own stress and anxiety... yes having skid is awful, but we choose to be with guys who have kids... that's the consequences for being stupid...

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 01/20/2017 - 9:42am

Sorry, I totally know how you feel. I can remember driving home from work with my stomach in a knot when I would know that skid was going to be there. Knowing that I was going to have to have some forced friendly interaction, knowing that my DH was going to be watching my every facial expression and body language for signs of "hating his kid" If it wasn't for my BS who I couldn't wait to see, I probably would have found excuses to work late, meet friends for dinner, go for a run,.... ANYTHING to delay the inevitable.

I do NOT miss those days AT ALL! I agree with Acra.. take your daughter and go do something outside of the house.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Submitted by Hellogoodbyemoon on Fri, 01/20/2017 - 9:53am

I know exactly how you feel. The intense flood of dread that washes over you when you should be happy for your day off at YOUR home with YOUR husband.

The ladies above gave the best advice to be given, GET OUT and go do something fun with your daughter or a friend. Sitting around the house waiting for the next bomb to explode from the little twit will only ruin your weekend.

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Fri, 01/20/2017 - 1:41pm

Is it possible to take the next couple of months 'off' from doing family things when SD is there? You have only a little bit of free time, and if you don't get the chance to recharge your batteries, then you're just going to make yourself ill by exhausting yourself.

After a couple of times of doing something else that makes you feel more rested and positive, you can start to figure out what you want to do in the longer term.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 01/21/2017 - 2:29pm

Same here! And I couldn't escape because if I did, there would be no brakes on guilty spending or quite possibly accidents from no supervision.

Gardening, cleaning, yard work and couponing were my distractions.

I let Chef do the actual "parenting" which was highly frustrating trying to undo bad habits cultivated at the Girhippo's house.