Our BS never had a problem. Once he was potty-trained, he was potty-trained and never really had any accidents, although he did go through a brief bedwetting period at age 5.

Our BD is now 4 and she has been trained since about 2 1/2. She does great most of the time and will go several weeks with no accidents, then for some mysterious reason, have a couple of days during which she'll have accidents. So far, there's been no problem with bedwetting. We couldn't figure out why she'd have short periods of a day or two with accidents when she can go such long stretches with no accidents. Then we finally figured it out! When she would get a little constipated, she would start to "strain" to have a bowel movement before she was actually on the potty, which would result in urine leakage. So we now know that if she does have an accident, it's probably because she needs to do #2 and is just too impatient and busy to sit on the toilet to make her deposit. We increase her intake of apple juice to help her poop and it usually requires one of us to sit in the bathroom with her until she goes, but once she does have a BM, the accidents magically stop.

We figure this is partly because at this age, they are so darn BUSY! They are into everything, learning about all kinds of stuff and just too interested in other things to sit on the potty if it's going to take longer than a couple of minutes. She'll grow out of it and it's already getting better. We've put a few of her favorite books in the bathroom so she can read while she's on the toity and that's helped, too.

~ Anne ~

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

A lot of bed wetting/ potty accidents can also be associated with the size of the bladder. Most of the time, if the child is growing, thirst, appetite, etc grows too, and sometimes the bladder may still be catching up, often resulting in bed wetting and potty accidents. It's usually very innocent. And it can go as late as 12 years old in spurts. Often, a child doesn't quite have a grasp on the time frame, when is the right time to go to the potty, etc. They get easily distracted, and they just haven't quite got it yet, so when the body changes, things happen a little quicker than they are used to- the result- accidents.

I would be more concerned about reminding him, rewarding him, etc, all the things you are doing. Also, make sure he knows that it's okay, not to be embarrassed, because some kids get embarrassed about it, and they won't necessarily tell you. But it's normal.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

What gets me is that he's not wetting himself at your house, but he is at school and with BM. I think this is a lack of communication and joint effort. Maybe your DH can share the sticker book with the teacher and ask if she could try it, or give some other reward for telling her he's gone potty in the toilet. I would hope that BM would be able to understand the benefit of the book if DH could get across to her that it's really helping SS when he's with you in a way that she doesn't feel attacked or belittled.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

My STBH son still pees to bed and he is 8. If is really upsetting me because we have a two bedroom house and when he come over he sleeps on the couch. Well i have really expensive furniture and my sofa is completely pissed out. When i asked him why he doesn't get up and use the bathroom he says because you and my daddy didn't wake me up so that i can go to the bathroom. Okay my nephew is 3 1/2 and has been potty trained since he was 14 months and he gets up and night and goes to the bathroom. My STBH says that is a "kidney problem" i told him that he is just lazy. I asked his sister what happens at their mothers house when he pees in the bed she said that he don't because BM spanks him. Well slap my on the butt and say giddey up horsey. I think that she tells him to pee at my house because she is that stupid and vindictive. I am at my wits end. I want some new furniture but it won't do any good if he is still pissing on himself.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!