O/T - Vent: not looking forward to next Sunday
Of course, it's all up in the air, because I'm always the last to know or to be asked, but yeah... Father's Day.
June 18th is also our youngest toddler's 2nd birthday. So, there's that too.
All I know is the LAST thing I want to do is spend Father's Day with my inlaws, but I can feel it lurking in the background. I'm almost positive my DH is trying to muster up the gumption to sell me on how wonderful it would be to spend it with them, skid, BIL, who recently relapsed and is back to drinking, and his family. I just refuse to loop all of that excess BS into such a special day.
Father's Day itself is already a "meh" for me. In all honesty, I'm really struggling with our marriage right now, for various reasons, but I'm more than willing to put in the effort for our kids and with our kids only. Secondly, I have zero, zilch desire to be around my flying monkey POS FIL. Then, there's skid and her days of yore "remember when?!" crap. The icing on the cake, of course, would be having to look at my smug-faced, smack talking, Betsy DeVos doppelgänger of a MIL, who I just want to strangle anymore. She's back up on her high horse now that BIL has relapsed and she has someone that needs her. Why in the world would I want to spend time with a bunch of codependent enablers who will do nothing but fawn over BIL while I run myself ragged chasing around our two toddlers?
I'm currently disengaged from skid and mostly no contact with MIL and FIL. I don't want to be straight-up cruel to DH if and when he addresses next Sunday, but...
I really need to continue maintaining boundaries and my main focus is our child's birthday.
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Comments
Let him go spend part of the
Let him go spend part of the day with his father and his child. You plan a celebration in your home for your immediate family.
That's what I'm thinking. He
That's what I'm thinking. He can go spend time with the three of them. He will fight that on all levels, though. Either we all go as a faaaaaamily, or he won't go at all. Making me look like the a-hole.
I wish I had immediate family here, but I don't. Both of my parents are deceased, and my family is on the west coast. I have plenty of girlfriends here with littles and plan on celebrating with them during the week.
Absolutely let him go to his
Absolutely let him go to his parents house where MIL can fawn all over the addict BIL.
Plan a going out to eat or his favorite meal at another time.
If you really wanted to turn it up a notch, plan a weekend with dh and your toddler out of town.
I would not go either.
Cant stomach people who are enablers to drug addicts OR who act like you described.....ughh.
Thanks, Goodluck. I would
Thanks, Goodluck.
I would love for DH to go off and spend the day with his parents and skid on Sunday - and I mean that wholeheartedly. I think because I am so sincere in this request that DH feels threatened, freezes up, then has to break it to his parents that he can't - because momjeans. It's just like me to break up the happy family and all. }:)
I cannot stomach this kind of behavior either, but like I have suspected for a long time, I truly feel that on top of being a codependent enabler, that MIL is a narcissist. Maybe a covert one. All the signs point to yes.
In fact, I just got off of the phone with BIL's fiancé. She called to fill me in on the details of her trip to Florida last week. It all started with her flying to Alabama, with their child, for her brother's graduation. Then to Florida to visit her dad and grandmother.
With BIL (back home here in NC) unable to function knowing his fiancé was having all the fun in the sun drinking, the inlaws put him on a plane to Florida. I don't know if he had already fallen off of the wagon at that point, but apparently he went on a bender of epic proportions, causing him to take a drunken fall, landing himself in the hospital. He takes Coumadin, and is now back to drinking while taking Coumadin, so this is a little serious.
While in the hospital, soon-to-be SIL's dad and grandmother "kidnap" (her words) her and BIL's 2 year old.
So there it was. The shining moment my narcissistic MIL lives for - saving the day. FIL and MIL are now in a frantic race to get down to Florida, despite BIL telling them over the phone, no, I'm a grown ass man, I'll be fine, and to stay put.
(Somewhere in there is when MIL calls DH at work and asks what he wants to do with skid (they apparently had just picked her up from day camp). He tells her he will contact me and I, in so many words, tell him that his parents can take skid with them and to have fun!)
Apparently, soon-to-be SIL "was put on a plane back home" by a family memeber, while MIL and FIL get their grandchild back. Which they do, and now SIL is singing their praises, when not too long ago I was starting to think the two of us were allies of sort, in all this family's dysfunction and MIL's attempt to conquer and divide the relationship between me and SIL. Full stop on that. I'm beginning to see that SIL may be one of MIL's flying monkeys.
So obviously there's no desire to bond and laugh and talk smack about HER dad on Father's Day, also my child's birthday.
be clever Hon... agree and
be clever Hon... agree and the you simply get "sick" 10min before you have to leave for the in-laws.. }:)