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Im gonna blow my stack....

mommadukes2015's picture

It's very rare I lose my temper. But it happens.

I've had enough. Everyone SO and I make plans, just the 2 of us, BIL somehow gets included. We've been planning to attend SO's former boss's wedding for over 6 weeks now. BIL knows former boss, but wasn't invited.

Appetently, earlier in the week BIL said to SO he would like to attend former boss's wedding. SO asked former boss and former boss said he is always welcome.

Meanwhile I spend my grind of a work week looking forward to spending time with SO at the wedding, I said this to him in numerous occasions and about an hour ago he tells me BIL is coming too. BIL is anti-social, doesn't drive and has depression. So he would be riding with us, talking to SO and me on occasion only and otherwise just being oddly antisocial with anyone else. I know this, because that's happened in the past.

I told SO I don't think it's appropriate sit invite yourself to someone's wedding (back yard nuptials or not). Plus, I had figured SO had taken the liberties of making plans with BIL for SS 11. When SS11went to BIL's last night I sent him with 3 nights of clothing because we have plans tomorrow too.

When I asked SO about this this morning he said "when do I ever make plans for just SS?" To which my reply was "you never make plans for any of the kids ever. You just assume I can read your damn mind."

I thought about it. I was going to take another one for the team. BIL has helped us out with the house, does have depression and could probably get out of the house. I don't think this is the time to repay that favor but whatever, former boss is okay with it and I didn't want to be that asshole and ruin what should have been a good day.

As I was explaining this to SO I said "I would have liked to know. I don't make plans without telling you." To which he replied "well this whole summer wasn't decided with my consultation" re: the renovation.

That flipped the bitch switch.

I told him, no one consulted me about driving SS to school and back twice a day 5 days a week. It's a 30 minute drive one way. No one asked me about enrolling him in school or filing court papers. It was agreed it needed to happen and I got it done. No one consults with me about doctor visits or communication with crazy fucking ex's. They just ASSUME. Why? Because I'm a team player. That's been majorly taken advantage of and is now reaping the benefits.

I told SO to have a lovely time at the wedding with BIL.

He left. I'm furious. And disappointed.

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mommadukes2015's picture

Thanks Heaven. He came back. We talked. He offered to tell BIL he can't come. I'm so stupid and didn't have the heart to tell him he needs to disappoint BIL eventhough BIL is a giant imposing pain in my ass and SO was being a complete wad. I really need to stop giving in every freaking time this happens. And everyone it happens I tell myself "no more". Then...well you know the rest.

Turns out he tried to get BIL to make other plans for himself but he wouldn't take the hint. It shouldn't matter. He should have told me earlier.

Ugh.

hereiam's picture

Well, that was crappy of him.

I don't understand what some people don't understand about being a couple.