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HOW DO YOU KNOW IF BM RESENTS HER BIOCHILD?????????

mommommom's picture

Submitted by mommommom on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:41am

I am beginning to wonder and feel that BM resents SD4. Not that BM doesn't love her, but that she has a resentment towards SD. I know she has resentment towards myself and DH, but I think it runs downhill to SD. The little things like not taking SD to the doctor until really sick, waiting until she is hospitalized to say "ah our little SD is in hospital from pneumonia". UGH! Well, that's not a little thing. We told BM to take SD to doctor for over a month and she didn't! Or making SD wear jeans and clothes that are too small? SD's jeans were so tight that they would hardly button. And BM has the money to buy SD jeans. How about letting SD drink from a sippy cup that had mold growing in the lid when we told her you need to remove the stopper to clean them. It happened over and over again! Not to mention the guilt trips that SD is put on by BM. SD wants to stay longer with us and BM now insists on getting her back. So when we drop SD off she is hesitant to go with BM. BM gives her this snide look and SD kinda crumbles and goes. How about phone calls. We do try to call once a week. But on BM's good week SD can talk on the BAD personality week SD is not home, or blah blah blah. Which I don't think SD is home alot being BM will let whoever take her whenever, just not us anymore. I am just so sick of seeing this little girl suffer when I know what my gut is telling me is right about BM! BM has no emotional connection with SD unless BM is having one of her many EMO days and depending on which personality has come out is depending on how BM acts towards SD. Mostly cold and distant though. If we could get custody we would. Joyce Meyer said this morning to pray for your enemy or pray for someone who has wronged you. That is a very hard step to take but I am going to attempt it. I do pray for SD already and for her to be safe while with BM. But actually praying for BM is hard, but I am going to do it. Anyone feel that the BM resents their biochild but does things basically for show when it comes time to be worlds greatest MOMMY?

Comments

vgill's picture

Submitted by vgill on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:55am

Sounds like she is just lazy!! and selfish!! people like this may be able to be parents but shouldn't be!!! I have an X like that, I know he loves his kids but his prioritys are so screwed up, I often wonder if he'll ever grow up, but he is 30 and not likely to change!! But I never say anything bad about him to the kids, they are smart they will figure him out on their own, I just hope he smartens up a little so they wont be embarrased about who their father is when they grow up!!!

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:58am

I just feel bad for kids that have to live like this. I mean, there's worse. There are kids who are starved and beaten by their parents. But just the "I don't care" attitude has to wear down a child after a while. They will realize at some point that their mother didn't care enough about them to get them clothes that fit, make sure they stayed healthy, let them drink from a clean cup. C'mon, how much effort does that really take???

LotusFlower's picture

Submitted by LotusFlower on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:23pm

I have the Queen of this type of BM, in my opinion...and it never suprises me how women can act this way....to tell us that SS's eyes were checked and fine, yet he couldn't see....to make the children lie to their father that they had food,yet they were starving, to see underwear and socks on their EOW visits that looked like they had been used to wash a garage floor, to see a pre-teen wearing toddler pants as "capris"...to see a child in so much toothache pain that they are screaming, yet the BM won't do anything for the child, to hear that SD9 got her period, yet it was really a UTI..I could go on and on....but what I have come to realize is that somewhere along the way in these extreme cases, the BM became more important to herself that her children were...its needing to spend time trying to find a man to love u and neglecting the children right in front of you who already love u!!!its a shame...when I look into my kids' eyes sometimes, I know they miss her...how can they not?...she IS their Mom...who wants to accept that their Mom doesn't care about them?..but when they look at me I also see love and appreciation for ME...and after all these years, that's enough for me....she can be their "mom", cuz I'm in their hearts.... Smile

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:09pm

LotusFlower, they do have love for you. Not more or less than they have for their mother, just a different love. They love you because you truly love them and care for their well being. They love her because she is their bio mom. A bio-mom can beat their child but the child will still always love her. I'd prefer the love that they have for you over the love they have for BM anyday!

vgill's picture

Submitted by vgill on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:16pm

She sounds like nothing other than an egg doner, not a mother!! it takes more than biology, to become a parent!!!

RustyHalo's picture

Submitted by RustyHalo on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:27pm

I fully believe our BM resents the responsibilities of being a mother. She loves all the wonderful warm and fuzzy moments and she RELISHES the CS check every week and um...........that's about it.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

mommommom's picture

Submitted by mommommom on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 2:24pm

Thank you all so much. I feel the same way and all the different situations and opinions are so helpful. I do feel BM is selfish, well I know for a fact that she is selfish. SD has started her "story telling" side of things and BM is a compulsive liar. BM lies about the dumbest, smallest things too. Makes you want to just say "Are you stupid?" But anyway, I agree with everyone and also with FW42... BM likes the fuzzy moments, basically when she can show SD off, (in her too small clothing and not to mention stringy hair that hangs in her face) that was snide.. Sorry, and act as if she is world's most wonderful mommy. Loves the child support money that comes in, yet thinks she is entitled to more, more, more. And that is not happening! I see so many situations where the stepparent absolutely loves the stepchildren and gets constant grief for that. I love my SD and will continue to do so no matter what BM does or says. I just pray that SD can see through all of BM's mess and lies.