I used to be into the separate bank accounts for married people until recently. DH and I kept separate accounts. I paid half of EVERY bill and on top of it paid for insurance for myself, DH and SS. I was doing laundry the other day and found DH's paystub. I was under the impression that we made the same amount (because that is what DH told me and I believed him). Come to find out, he brings home $800 more than me a month. WTF, I am completely broke all of the time and DH was bringing in $800 more a month!!! It makes me sick. Now I kind of think that married people should be aware of what is being brought in and going out.

That's what we did when DH was paying $1500 a month in CS when BM had custody. We did that so I could pay the bills because of DH's child support. It worked out great. Plus, you'll feel better knowing that money you alone earned isn't going to BM.

I think that was my comment you are referring to. We have everything separate. Just a joint savings we both contribute to if we have a large purchase to save for. A joint credit card for anything in the house. We split it in half. He tells me what I owe him and I write a check.

I would not have it any other way. Ask any questions you like. We have two houses. Mine is rented out. Would have sold it but the market dictated that. The rent pays for it and a little more. I pay half of the bills here at this house.

We have Netflix, he pays for. He pays the gym membership and I pay for his cell. It balances out. Pre-nup protects me and him from a divorce taking our assets.

It works, because money is not an issue. As for our retirements, that is the one question I have not figured out. He has more saved than I do, but I stand to inherit more. As for college, I will worry about my kid and he will deal with his.

Pre-nup dictates that when my house is sold, the equity is placed into his, paying off the mortgage. I get my amount back and then we split the accruing equity from the date of our marriage 50/50. Hopefully the marriage will last and that is a non-issue. It has been better lately since SD14 has left so maybe it will. But, since 3 in 5 2nd marriages fail, I wanted to protect myself. I didn't want the pre-nup in the begining. But, my lawyer convinced me and with everything that is going on with BM and now wanting CS, I am glad I did.

Ask away.

I combined finances with DH just before we got married. He is not good with money and I am, so it just seemed natural for me to handle the household finances. There were no secrets about how much either of us made or how much was going toward CS. It worked well... in the beginning.

Then DH and BM engaged in nasty custody battle. I supported DH's desire to become a CP, but it broke the bank. All of MY resources (retirement, savings, credit) became OUR resources and soon we were both broke. Eventually, SS returned to live with BM and she took DH back to court for more CS. Because our finances were combined, we had to provide tax returns to prove our income. And even though the laws state that Sparents income cannot be included when determining CS amounts, my income was the sole basis for the increase (partly because DH was SAHD at the time and could be considered intentionally unemployed).

I would highly recommend that you keep your finances separate. If DH were to ever get behind in CS, they can take money from your shared bank account or joint tax returns. Please protect your own finances.

DH and I have separate accounts. DH is terrible with money and if he has $5 he wants to spend $20. I do it to protect myself and when the skids come over and he wants to spoil them I know he's spending his own $$ on them so what do I care. He has his bills that he's responsible for and i pick up the rest. It ends up balancing out other than what he spends on his boys. There is no way I'm donating my finances to them until they respect me.

me and dh have separate finances as well and will definitely be filing separately next year for taxes (we just got married in may), BECAUSE of the child support stuff. I dont want ANY way for bm to get more money from us. He makes more than I do right now, but I am in school (2 more years ) then I'll be making more than him. He has more debts though (and I told him BEFORE we got married that those were his debts and he needs to take care of them, yet hes asking me for money to help him and he makes more than I do..?! ) So more of his money has to go other places. We are going to get a joint savings for big projects (like buying a house and furniture) but I know for a while, I'll be putting more in it because I have less debts. I would hate to have to ask him for money for something, and i think he would feel the same way, so its just easier to keep it separate.

i agree - i have "hidden" funds in my checking account for big purchases we plan on making. I will not have the funds accessable for him to "borrow" if he sees something shiney he wants in the mean time. It's not that I don't trust my DH with funds - i don't trust DH with funds that we're to share. He's very selfish when it comes to money. it's always his wants first and if he wants to get his kids somethign he will, even if it's OUR savings for us

I'm in the separate accounts camp as well. I came into the marriage with assets; he came in with debt. So we did a prenup. We have a budget for household expenses and we have a joint account for those expenses. We make about the same salary, so we each put a chunk of money into the joint account every month. He pays his individual expenses (insurance, credit cards, etc.) and I pay mine.

I pay the household bills and watch the finances. About weekly we go over everything. I see his bank account, he sees mine, we both know what the other is paying. He says this is the first time in his LIFE that he's ever had a handle on money.

We did run into some problems early in our marriage when he had no idea how he was spending his money and his adult son always needed something or had an emergency. (How many flat tires can one person have? But that's another story.) So DH would give him money, overdraw his account, and to avoid paying hundreds in overdraft fees, I'd cover those expenses. Several thousand dollars later I refused to be part of that game. But had our finances been joint, I would have had no control.

It works well for us.

Thank you for this. Great information that has made me confirm a decision I knew the answer to. I was thinking of buying a home with my BF in the town he lives (he doesn't own a home due to divorce). The town is 1 hour further from my work. My BF lives 30 from my town. My commute is only 30 minutes with no traffic. I own two homes already (which I was not planning on selling) and have money saved. I come to realize after reading this I am NOT going anywhere. I love my home and short commute to work.I also like not having to live with his girls as they live on a week and off a week. My Bf tends to be a little selfish with his money. So thank you, thank you for the great advice.

Thank you for this. Great information that has made me confirm a decision I knew the answer to. I was thinking of buying a home with my BF in the town he lives (he doesn't own a home due to divorce). The town is 1 hour further from my work. My BF lives 30 from my town. My commute is only 30 minutes with no traffic. I own two homes already (which I was not planning on selling) and have money saved. I come to realize after reading this I am NOT going anywhere. I love my home and short commute to work.I also like not having to live with his girls as they live on a week and off a week. My Bf tends to be a little selfish with his money. So thank you, thank you for the great advice.

My DH and I have separate accounts. I wouldn't have it any other way.

We are each responsible for 50% of the bills, and then we are responsible for our own bills (ie cell phone & visa's)...

I have my own RRSP, we both contribut to our childrens RESP's and well after that...his money is his, mine is mine... it saves a lot of hassel and fighting

Dh and I keep ours separate too. It started out b/c sh was paying way more to bm on top of CS and everything else he had to pay and I was paying all the bills plus some and nothing left to support my kids. I separated it to show him how much money he really was giving bm and to keep some money to buy things for my kids. It took a little while but he finally saw and he stopped it. We decided to keep it that way to remind him not to do it. I believe that every married couple that has an kids with an ex should do this to see where there money goes.

Another things dh would do is take the boys out to eat every stinking meal and blow our money and buy them this and that. I had to show him how much money he was blowing on that.

One time I had saved about $500 for my kids for their school clothes. We had to drop the boys off at their moms and stopped at the mall on our way there b/c she was late. There was a HUGE sale going on and it was a sunday and it was the last day of the sale. So I HAD to buy then no way around it. I did buy a few things and the boys got all bent out of shape about it and said it wasn't fair. Instead of dh explaining to them that this is school clothes and they will be getting some too just not then he wanted me to buy them all a $30 dollar stuffed toy!!! WTF???? UMM NO! We got into a huge fight over that.

I don't understand some people at all! WHY would you even think about asking someone something like that? I mean knowing that money wasn't yours. Plus it wasn't money to blow it was already ear marked for something important. GGRRRRRR